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Messages - d.t.
46
« on: December 18, 2003, 01:27:03 am »
Nahato's triumphant grin remained frozen on his face. Worry, however, was beginning to creep into the rest of his expression.
Eventually, with only the slightest of a quiver in his voice, the boy tried again. "I said awaken, Jinnistacia, obey my commands, let the world tremble at your power and rue the day they ever heard of the Phantom Tribe!"
The obviously awesome power of the demon god Jinnistacia completely failed to make itself known in any way. Amazing pyrotechnics were noticeable in their absence. Her well toned limbs remained stubbornly unmoving. Her beautiful but somehow chilling features didn't so much as budge. Nahato twitched. "Oh, come on! Does nothing ever work for us?" Beginning to get frustrated, the child kicked the demon god. She did not respond in any way.
"If I could explain, sir..."
"Why not?" replied Nahato, throwing his arms up in the air in aggravation, "We've been drowned in exposition already".
"Sir... it took us years just to locate this demon god, deep in the frozen wastes. And then it took us even more years to free it from its icy tomb. The excavation cost many lives, and required the use of almost all the ancient technology we had found... much of that technology was lost due to the incredible demands of the mining operation. We believe it would have been an enormous undertaking even for the Ancients. Clearly whoever put this demon god in stasis did not want it to be easy to reach her. We expected that there would be unusual difficulty in awakening her, but we feel we've made progress."
"Progress?"
"Erm... yes. After 2 years of work we managed to understand enough of the demon god's programming to... make her tell us her name." The underling had the good grace to look quite embarrassed.
"That's it?"
"And it moved once," continued the underling brightly, "to... er... kill one of our scientists."
"I was told we had a working demon god at this facility."
"And she does work! Whatever it is she's meant to be doing... she's doing it now."
"I was made to think we could control her."
"Um... I think maybe someone fibbed to you a bit sir. Possibly trying to get this facility better funded. It is an important facility. Well, was anyway. It's where we made that half breed Ishiel, and programmed her memories. It's where we made the technology to conceal buildings. The scinetists here felt they needed stronger defenses."
All the Phantom Tribe members looked back through the doorway to the rest of the facility. The only reason there weren't any Phantom Tribe corpses was because phantom tribe members don't leave corpses.
"Well, they may have been right about that," conceded Nahato, "but that doesn't change the fact that we're without a major weapon at the moment. We don't even have people in positions of influence any more!"
Another one of the underlings smiled brightly and spoke up. "It may be a good thing that we're not able to use any of our major weapons at the moment. From what we've been able to make out since escaping, there's a lot going on at the moment. People are on their guard. We work much better in secrecy, tricking our enemies. There are too many unknown variables at the moment. And as for getting people into positions of influence again... there is one other thing that wasn't touched in this facility. Perhaps the demon god felt it too low tech. As you know, our greatest enemy has been the human capable of seeing through our illusions. Scientists here worked day and night to find away around that weakness." She held up what looked very much like a makeup case, because that's precisely what it was. "Behold... the anti-Nanami defense screen."
****
The sensible thing would have been to call a momentary truce with the Alliance in order to deal with the much greater threat posed by Kalia.
The Emperor, unfortunately, was not a sensible person. He was, alas, an Emperor. And not one of the good ones that had to work hard for their position. No, he was the sort that got handed the mantle of leadership just for being born. He had been spoiled rotten all his life. He still wet himself for goodness' sakes. So he was much more inclined to be pig headed and continue on with his original plan. Partly because he believed himself to be too powerful for Kalia to threaten. Partly because he was a stubborn ass.
With a wave of his hand the demon gods were ordered to spread out and surround the city. Of course this left them more vulnerable to being picked off one by one, perhaps by soemone with unique abilities for messing with demon god programming, but the Emperor couldn't have known about Mizuhara Makoto. Couldn't have known that a mere touch from that earthling was enough to free a demon god from its shackles. Besides, the boy had problems of his own.
*****
Speaking of people with problems, Jinnai was glaring at his guard. "How much are they paying you?" he asked.
The red-haired guard jutted her chin out proudly, slamming the butt of her halberd on the ground. "I'm doing this for the honor of the Alliance!"
"And?"
"Free meals at the Shinonome Diner."
Jinnai nodded. That was a pretty good deal. He'd have done it for less in her shoes. "I can top that... how would you like to be... ruler of a whole cit... two cities?
The guard's chin remained firmly jutting out. But she didn't say no...
"And you can have a bunch of Bugrom to order around," continued Jinnai, "how cool is that?"
She glanced at the door. She had a calculating gleam in her eyes. Jinnai recognized that gleam... he'd seen it in the mirror often enough. "What's your name, little girl?" he asked.
"Millie," replied the orphaned street urchin.
****
It was a surprisingly good battle, Kalia admitted to herself. The human might have been a very real threat to her... once. But not any more. Not with all the ancient technology she had upgraded herself with. Not with Yuba's tech-touch making such technology grafts possible.
Ishiel was drenched with sweat. This wasn't how it was meant to go. She was confident in the power of her lamp. But half the time she tried to hit Kalia, the great hunks of rock controlled by the lamp were sucked into one of Kalia's "dots" and sent back, magnified, attacking Ishiel. And the one time she did hit the monster of a demon god, it didn't even seem to phase the witch. In fact the stones seemed to shatter.
Kalia smiled and walked confidently up toward Ishiel. Massive boulders were flying toward her, sending the people of Mos Eisley running. The rock shattered as soon as it touched the demon god. "I took parts from something called the 'Hammer of God' and put them in me," explaned Kalia, effortlessly destroying another attack. "I'm currently creating a massive kinetic field. One of my hairs could shatter a diamond just by brushing against it."
There was a blur, and then Kalia was right next to Ishiel, grabbing hold of the lamp. She was smiling, insane as ever. "Just turned off the field." Ishiel grabbed the lamp with both hands, holding on tight... and was lifted off her feet as Kalia smoothly swung the lamp around. "It's a strong weapon... I noticed you found another amplifier. But even without my new defenses, I'm fast enough to dodge." A mesh of crimson circuitry passed over her face, replacing it again with the dead visage of Yuba. The tech touch initiated... and the lamp was temporarily deactivated, a lock or two put in place. Given time Ishiel could no doubt fix the damage. Given time.
Electricity flowed from Kalia to Ishiel, a low power version of the lightning strike. Ishiel passed out. Kalia threw the priestess over her shoulder and began to fly back to her lair.
Truth be told... she should have just torn the priestess to bits right there, taking whatever she wanted to augment herself. But there was something disturbing about their similar appearance. Something that she had calculated could not be due to coincidence, nor due to merely being genetically related. Something that...
Kalia was not permitted to remember her own origin. She had no idea how she came to be, wasn't even meant to be curious. And she never would have admitted that she was curious, or that she was taking Ishiel to try and learn more about herself. It would have been ludicrous, in direct violation of her primary directive. But perhaps something from Yuba had leaked into her... because that's precisely what she was doing. Kalia wanted to know where she came from, and how Ishiel tied into that... as much as a being such as herself was capable of such a desire.
And once that was sorted out, she would use one of the Princesses of Roshtaria (it didn't matter which) to activate the part of the Eye of God she had used. Which would initiate her machine, creating an antimatter universe slightly out of phase with El Hazard's. And then move it in phase.
If that didn't destroy everything, nothing would.
****
Kauru watched, horrified, as the demon god vanished in the distance. She had tried to get to the scene of the battle... but the crowds had been moving in the other direction, and she was still so weak. Despair came close to overwhelming her when she found her fellow priestess' lamp.
But no... something inside her would not allow her to lose. Something inside her knew that she was strong enough to defeat Kalia. Strong enough to do anything she put her mind to.
She did cry though. A lot. You can cry a lot without quite giving in to despair.
47
« on: December 16, 2003, 09:39:34 pm »
A flock-nest of bird-snakes undulated through the skies and observed the following:
Kalia, whose questionable grasp on reality enabled her to disregard the whole Ryoko-Urd thing quite quickly, made her way over to the Creterian fleet. Curious, she kicked one of the ships and listened to the sound it made.
"Stop that at once!" fumed the Emperor. "Who are you? Who is your master? Who was that demon god, and how did she steal my demon god! This means war! Even more war than I had planed before! Our honor has been-"
Kalia interrupted, laughing childishly. "You're Creterians, aren't you? We thought you'd never come back, not with the big scene you made running away."
The Emperor bristled at that, drawing himself to his full height. "How dare you? A mere demon god speaking in such a manner about my ancestors? I'll have you destroyed for that. My ancestors were wrongly exiled from El Hazard!" The Emperor's demon gods, who had very sophisticated sensors capable of detecting just how powerful the Kalia-Yuba-Zombie thing was made absolutely no moves to attack.
Kalia giggled. "No they weren't, you big silly. They got all afraid of all the big weapons everyone had, and they stole plans for the Eye of God, made something called the "Platform of Infinity", and hightailed it to some alternate world." She beamed. "But everyone hated the way they weren't going to share that dimensional travel technology. Getting some more breathing room might have saved everyone a lot of trouble. So they sabotaged your guys' technology to self destruct once you left El Hazard. Wow, it must have taken you guys years to get back to this level of technology!"
The Emperor, reeling from this history lesson, didn't tell Kalia it had taken a lot more than just "years". He wasn't sure he believed this child-like demon god, but he didn't feel like embarassing himself either.
Kalia was already getting bored. "Well I've wasted enough time. Nice to see you've come back to El Hazard. I was always a bit worried that you might not get destroyed with everyone else," she cheerfully remarked. "Bye!"
And with a friendly wave she was gone, the spare parts of ancient technology in tow behind her, moving at speeds greater than anything the Creterians could match. One of the Emperor's attendants moved up to him. "Sir! Should we follow?"
The Emperor frowned thoughtfully for a moment, then shook his head. "We follow our plans. Continue on to what we have calculated to be the area with the greatest population density. Onward to the verdant valley!"
And the crafts resumed their course to what was now called the desert of bleached bones.
****
Babump.com was raking in money. They had installed a webcam in the temple that the Fatora clones had gone to. The temple filled entirely with women. But more on that later.
****
If you'd asked Urd who was the greatest expert on love potions currently on El Hazard, she would have replied herself. It would be a reasonable assumption, since she was a goddess, and had lifetimes of experience on the subject. It would also have been an incorrect assumption. The greatest expert on love potions in El Hazard was, in fact, in a small hut at the base of one of the El Hazard's few known active volcanoes. It was a nondescript hut, very rustic, with a surprisingly limited supply of hot water, poor air conditioning, and a remarkably slow DSL connection. The current occupant of that hut (for this was a hut that was passed on to others at fairly regular intervals) was fairly content. The scenery was pleasing (if you liked volcanoes, which the occupant did), and a man from a nearby village came by once every two weeks with food, water, and several crates of sake. In order to pay for this, the occupant ran an online business. That's where the knowledge of love potions came in. She was behind one of the few successful spam campaigns offering "supplements" and other such substances. The reason her business was successful was because her products did exactly what was asked of them. And the reason she was a better love potion expert than Urd was that, well, the things some utter weirdoes felt they could ask "supplements", when guaranteed the anonymity of the internet, were far beyond anything Urd had ever dreamed of. Or indeed beyond anything any sane person reading this could imagine, so don't even try.
The occupant was looking out the window, smoking a long thin pipe, when Kalia paused in the air on top of the active volcano. The occupant dropped her pipe in shock.
****
Kalia frowned. She had been flying along randomly, searching for more parts for her "destroy EVERYTHING that exists EVERYWHERE" machine, when she had detected a strange, very faint, energy signature. But this made no sense. The lava was at least 2000 degrees Fahrenheit, far in excess of anything even the toughest of demon gods could handle. What could be stored in a volcano? And who would store it there?
Luckily for her curiosity, Kalia was just insane enough to try and find out. A red mesh of circuitry flowed over her body again as she absorbed some of the pieces of ancient technology she had been carrying, using them to beef up her defenses while diverting almost all her energy reserves into heat shielding. She dove into the lava.
And emerged a moment later, as all her systems screamed warnings and her defenses came dangerously close to failing. Whatever was in that volcano, she had no way of reaching it. She was a little disappointed, but tried to cheer herself up.
"I guess it won't matter when I destroy everything anyway."
****
"Fokin' 'ell..." whispered the occupant of the hut, watching Kalia fly away. After all these generations, someone was trying to disturb the volcano! "Fokin' 'ell!" yelled the occupant, finally noticing the small fire that had started when she had dropped her pipe. She stamped the flames out as quick as she could, glancing back into her hut. On one of the walls was a blue disk, very much like the archive disks that Kauru had found in the Phantom Tribe's cache of Ancient Technology. It looked like it was time for her to pay a visit to her favorite pupil.
"Jus' as well," she added, looking at her supply of alcohol, "Roshtarian sake's much better 'n this swill. Jus' 'ope 'at bloody gobshite lissens to 'er ol' teacher this time..." She threw a few bottles of sake into a travel bag, along with some smoking weed, her pipe, and the archive disc. Then she lifted a bottle of sake in toast. "Ere's to yer, Shayla-Shayla... 'ope y' manage t' do somethin' right this time... an' not flush generations o' fire priestesses' work down t' tubes."
And with that, Crayna-Crayna, mostly sober former holy priestess of fire, set off to hitchhike to Roshtaria.
****
Lying deep within the volcano, shielded by some of the most advanced technology El-Hazard had ever seen, the demon god Al Zahad slept.
OOC: Apologies to Chynna Clugston-Major. I was reading her comic "Blue Monday" today, and was inspired to give Crayna a Dublin accent. I wanted to spice the character up a bit from the Wanderers version.
48
« on: December 15, 2003, 02:07:58 am »
OOC: Typed this in a word processor. Then when I posted it, the punctuation was large chunks of gibberish, and the spacing was all wrong. Had to manually fix the punctuation, so there may be some problems still. And the spacing I couldn't get right.
IC:
At that moment, however, the royal skiff of Emperor Dall Narcis III of
Creteria appeared on the scene. With a gesture, the Emperor signaled for the
skiff to come to a halt. The considerable number of vessels following him followed suit.
With a disdainful sniff that would have done Dall himself proud, the young
would-be-despot took in the sight. "Are those the sorts of demon god left in El Hazard?
Children and old women?"
Urd had extremely good hearing. And while she certainly did want to slap Kalia
around a bit... well, some things just demanded immediate attention. "Hold that
thought," she growled to the demon god, directing a very angry look at
the Creterians. As Kalia watched in amazement, Urd stomped off toward the
Emperor's cortège. Or, well, she would have, but stomping is difficult in the
air. "Someone needs punishment way more than you," snarled the goddess. Then, without
knowing exactly why, she added, "and I don't mean happy fun Fatora and Alielle
kind of punishment."
Kalia summed the event up with a succinct "Huh?"
**********
The cave stretched straight forward and downward, illuminated here and there
with faintly glowing blue disks that were pressed into the wall. The
priestesses ventured on and on, not entirely sure what they were looking for. It
had been a stroke of luck that, while falling from the top of the kingfisher,
Ishiel had seen and recognized a very unusual rock formation... one indicating
that a Phantom Tribe cache was within. Now and again they found themselves
stooping, crawling, jumping over narrow gaps. All fairly standard fare for
secret mountain lairs. But as they progressed they sensed something was wrong.
Great holes seemed to have been torn into otherwise smooth
passageways. Soon they began to find broken bits of machinery. It was Ishiel
that voiced their suspicions.
"The bloody witch was in here! She took everything!"
"Kalia sucks. Sucks lots," added Ura
"Um… what are these?" Kauru asked, pointing at one of the blue disks lining
the walls. Ishiel glared at her.
"They're lights. You tap them, they turn on. You tap them again, they
turn off. Yes, truly some of the most advanced ancient technology the Phantom Tribe ever found."
She was feeling more snarky than usual.
Kauru frowned. "I don't think these are just lights," she whispered, looking
closer. She could almost make out designs in the disks. Circles and diamonds.
Like the crystal found in the Eye of God, or the strange object Arjah had been
imprisoned in. "I think this goes... like this," she continued, tentatively touching one of
the discs.
Ura watched in amazement as a semi-transparent man-sized blue neon circle appeared in the air,
on front of the disc. Strange blue neon markings rotated along its edges:
elaborately decorated circles and diamonds, and the occasional scrap of writing in the
language of the Ancients.
Perhaps it was because they had so recently used their communication technique.
Perhaps it was just an after-effect of the near instrumentality that had
occurred. Perhaps it was a ripple in the primal ethers, producing a stochastic
synchronicity due to the deus ex machina effect. At any rate the Elemental
Priestesses suddenly found themselves seeing what Kauru saw.
And what Kauru saw was this:
___________
A blue haired man, incredibly handsome, dressed in clothes not entirely unlike
Kauru's. He was smiling as he spoke. A smile that rivaled Fujisawa-sensei's.
"This archive includes confidential documents and information not to be removed
from the premises, except in accordance with the security policies and
procedures of the Northern Weaponers' Commission. They are not to be reproduced
in any way, under penalty of death. If in any doubt as to how to manage or
secure sensitive material, please contact a- "
there was a flicker as the damaged
disk skipped forward. The man looked considerably more tired than before.
Apparently this was a very long disclaimer. "-not available in the
state of depression. The Southern Weaponers do not advocate armed
conflict in any form, and are in no way affiliated in any way with any National Alliance.
If rash occurs due to use of this docu-technology, discontinue use. If rash
persists, consult funeral homes..."
*The Record Skipped
Seated behind an elaborate desk was a strikingly beautiful woman, with long blue
hair in a very similar style to Kauru's. "Blue" just about summed her up, from her
blue eyes, to her blue clothes, to the prevailing color scheme of her office.
Another blue haired man stood at attention behind her. Through the massive
window behind them both it was possible to see The City.
The City was a paradise. In harmony with nature, tastefully ornate, colorful,
supremely artistic, and breathtakingly, achingly, painfully beautiful. Living
in a city like that, you would surely believe that all was good and right in the
world.
At the other end of the table, talking to Ms. Blue, was Arjah. He was a little
younger, and somewhat more human in appearance, but there could be no mistaking
him.
"Mister Arjah," Blue was patiently explaining, "I'm afraid what you're
proposing just isn't economically feasible. I'm speaking from experience. The
Northern Weaponers produce the finest weapons on the planet. Our scientists
were consulted in the construction of the Demon God Ifurita. We also assisted
in the designs for the Eye of God, and are taking a major role in finishing its
construction. We know weapons. It's our business motto. 'The Northern
Weaponers: Boy do we ever know weapons'. So when I say that demon gods have
made lamp technology obsolete, I know what I'm talking about."
Arjah glowered. "But this is not a lamp like the others! It would tap into
dimensional energy..."
"Which your colleagues in the priesthood think is dangerously unstable. Pass all the same.
We'll happily sell you the parts you need, but we're just not going to waste any
of our consultants on this. You'll have to build it yourself."
Arjah glowered. "I will build a lamp of dimensions," he hissed, "and then I
will show you! I'll show you all!"
*The Record Skipped
"Well, he sure showed us, didn't he?" Blue was looking out her window with a
frown. Many of The City's structures were in ruins. It was still breathtakingly beautiful, but you got a sense that it would never quite be the
same. "Still, the technology we developed to defeat and imprison him should
make us more than enough money to repair the damages. And build some new public
works. Commission some art." She looked at some blueprints on her desk. They
looked exactly like the diamond device and strange dimensional portal generator
that Makoto had found. "It's even helped us solve some problems with the Eye of
God. So, tell me about the Ifuritas."
The aide nodded. "We have concluded that it's not economically possible to construct another Ifurita unit, much less all the units we've seen. No nation could have afforded it. The original practically bankrupted its Tribe. So we're probably looking at inferior models, made to look like the original. Heck, they're probably just low-grade nanite-altered humans."
"But who's going to take the chance that they're looking at an inferior model Ifurita? They could have the original in mothballs, and who would know? I have to admit, it's brilliant."
*The Record Skipped
Blue stared at the blueprints. "This is just grotesque. What's this thing
called again?"
"LE TOILETTE DE DEVESTACION Miss."
"We're charging double our usual consultation rates. And I think I'll take a
bath. Bloody Frenchians."
*The Record Skipped
Blue was angry. The City had definitely seen better days. There were more
buildings, each of them achingly beautiful. But the skyline just didn't
work they way it used to. Each part was perfect, but it didn't come together. "So. You're telling me that there's Arjah
Defeating class technology in a demon god... and we have no idea where the demon
god is, or how it was made?"
The aide smiled weakly. "Well... we were only consulted on Kalia's weapons
systems. They're the only Arjah Defeating class technology in her. But we
don't know how she was built. Except that she isn't a nanite altered human, at least not like any we've ever seen, or standard cyborg, or an android. Er..."
"Go on."
"Well... she was only sent on one test run, Miss. Um... she was apparently... I mean
there were some... That is to say... look, she's a bloody-minded gibbering psychotic loon. Mad as a
bag of mice with hats. Miss. We have no idea how they constructed her neural
pathways, but they really made one crazy assed demon god. And now they've got
her hidden away. And they're going on about this "Trigger of Destruction" thing
they say they made. Miss."
"But the Armor of God defense shield should protect us from any attack, right?"
"Well..."
*The Record Skipped
Blue looked down at the designs. "What..." She paused and pinched her nose. She
looked up. "This... weapon... we're being consulted on. What's this monstrosity
called again?"
"Erm... The Panda of God, Miss."
"That's what I thought you said... those bloody Frenchians must be infecting their
neighbors with their insanity. And this one?"
"That's the Worm of Wrath, Miss."
"It's hideous."
"Well, worms often are, Miss. Or so I'm told. I’ve never seen one myself."
"I'm beginning to hate this job."
"Yes Miss."
The City was definitely beginning to look a little frayed around the edges, even
though, theoretically, more fantastic pieces of art were in it than ever.
*The Record Skipped
By now The City was looking a bit frayed around the middle. The less said about
the edges the better.
Blue smiled widely. "But this is wonderful! The design for the Ibn-Al Zahad
and Jinnistacia units is nothing short of revolutionary. The Ifurita unit's
ability to learn and amplify attacks has long been seen as the apex of demon god
technology - but no more! These units not only learn their enemies' attacks...
they can also analyze the scientific basis for their opponents' weapons. They
can use this knowledge to develop entirely new applications! Even if someone
did pierce the Armor of God, these demon gods could never be defeated. The
Northern Weaponers are safe."
*The Record Skipped
"So, you're telling me we're utterly doomed?"
"Yes Miss."
"But we only just built our new demon gods! They haven't even had a test run!"
"Bit irrelevant Miss. The enemies used a plague. Went right through the Armor
of God, and while the demon gods won't be hurt... we're buggered. Miss."
"This isn't fair!"
"No Miss."
Well do something about it."
"Yes Miss. Erm... any ideas as to what, Miss?"
The City... well the sight of it was enough to break your heart. It really was.
* The Record Skipped
"She's perfect," Blue murmured. She looked at the sleeping child closely,
poking and prodding as if she was examining a lab animal. "Has it been
confirmed that she can withstand the memory implants?"
"No, she cannot," the aide replied. "At least, not at this stage of her physical
development. A lock will be needed. We are considering introducing a phobia to
her psyche, to seal the knowledge away until she has developed to the point
where she can handle it."
"It is good to know that our Tribe's knowledge will not be lost," Blue mused.
"The world may well depend on it one day... And with the plague that ravages our
people, none of us will live past this girl's tenth year."
The aide shook his head sadly. "At least the genetic modifications we've made to
this one and her brothers and sisters will allow them to survive. Still, it
pains me to know that our only progeny to survive will not be quite human..."
"Hush," Blue reprimanded. "Beggars cannot be choosers. And you must be careful
what you say around our young ones. They may be infants still, but the changes
we have made to them are not completely predictable. They may remember..."
"Their descendants may too," pointed out the aide. "The memories of this first
generation will be passed down to all subsequent generations."
"And one day, when the time is right... we will be able to rectify this horrible
horrible mistake we have made," said Blue sadly. "They will not be able to
fight it?"
"Oh no, Miss. Once the implants are activated they will be drawn to our
technology. Even if the world is reduced to a dark age, enough technology caches should
remain. And they will have an innate affinity with all the Arjah Defeating
class technology. Well, except that Kalia unit. Wherever that is. Too much foreign muck in it. But they will conquer the world, Miss, because they could no more
stop themselves than they could stop breathing. It's in their genes. We put it
there."
Blue looked at the child sadly. "One world under one rule. That will stop the
wars, won't it? This is right, what we're doing" isn't it?"
*The Record Jumped
Blue looked at the city. Through the Armor of God shield system she could see
the demon gods fighting, the Eye of God firing, the war machines laying waste to
the world. Armageddon had come, and her people were safe within their shell.
Except that, within a year, two at most, the Northern Weaponers would all be
dead. All except a handful of children meant to be their future.
She watched a giant lizard fighting a swarm of demon gods in the distance. And then the leader of the Northern Weaponers, the head of the wealthiest of all nations, the greatest artistic patron the world had ever known, whose DNA had been used to create Kauru's ancestor, had a revelation.
"Son of a..."
"Yes, Miss?"
"You know what we are?"
"No Miss."
"We really are a bunch of shi-"
*The Record Ended.
****
And on a lighter note, elsewhere on El-Hazard some girls were learning that allowing clones of Fatora join an all-female priestesshood may not have been the brightest of ideas.
49
« on: December 12, 2003, 09:09:45 pm »
OOC: Here comes a new challenger!
IC:
It started, like very few things do, with a grave. As a matter of fact is started quite some time ago, back when Ishiel was the one with the elemental talismans. When the second Ifurita left her post to deal with a greater evil. Before everything with Arjah and the Bugrom conquest and whatnot. And as for what "it" was, well, "it" was a new flavor of bad. Of course. This was El-Hazard after all.
So anyway. A grave. A very beautiful and well-maintained grave. With fresh flowers.
A hand. A gnarled hand pushing through the topsoil of that grave, withering the flowers with a touch.
A body. A body emerging from the grave.
A smile. A smile several factors more insane than any seen in this story so far, which, all things considered, was really quite an accomplishment and should probably be applauded, at length, while standing.
The simple fact of the matter was that nobody out-crazied Kalia. No way, no how, no sir. A thin line separated most people from madness, but Kalia was so far gone she couldn't see sanity with a telescope.
She looked around, quite confused, and then took stock of the situation. And it was quite an odd situation. For one thing, this was not her body. It was quite clearly that of Yuba, the old human she had encountered a few minutes ago. Or what had felt like a few minutes ago... judging from the changes in her surroundings, more time had passed than she knew of. What was the last thing she remembered? Her fight with Ifurita. Infecting Ifurita with her nanites...
Ah. She understood now. Yuba had interfered, taking the nanites into himself to save Ifurita. Apparently his strange command over machines had produced this unexpected side effect. Which would explain why she now looked like a cross between her old self and a zombie Yuba. No doubt it would take time for her nanites to finish converting the body to her needs. Still, she should be able to sense the Trigger of Destruction...
Except she didn't. The Trigger was gone. Not just gone from the hidden valley, gone from the entire world. By all rights she should be furious, her sensors were taking in so much data she didn't have time to react. Vast amounts of energy were being thrown around. Perhaps that was what had activated her nanites after all this time? Whatever. More importantly, she sensed that a number of the ancients' war machines had been activated and destroyed.
But something else was different. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on. Something...
She smiled impossibly wide as she realized what it was. She had Yuba's power as well as her own. Technology was her bitch. It was a plot twist worth swearing about, so there.
Who needed the Trigger? Who cared what happened to her previous body? She had a wide selection of spare parts to choose from, and the power to understand their workings with a touch. She'd just build a new doomsday device. And, y'know, destroy everything that ever existed.
And thus she set out on a little sub-plot haltingly titled "Night of the Living Zombie-Yuba/Kalia-thing."
~~~~~~~~
While Doctor Schtalabaugh was pondering what to do about the actually-fairly-decent-Bugrom-occupation, other forces were at work. For instance, in a dimension far removed from his own, there was suddenly a very strange sound, sort of like someone being fried to fine black soot and impaled upon a large spike, only in reverse. This sound accompanied Galus being fried to fine black soot and impaled upon a large spike, only in reverse.
Galus collapsed, steam pouring off of his body. He looked around, taking in his surroundings. They were utterly unfamiliar and confusing. On front of him was a strangely dressed young boy with black and yellow hair, his garb somewhat like that of Makoto and his fellow humans. Galus, perhaps remembering his last few experiences with adolescents, wanted to know one thing immediately: "Where are your parents, boy?"
The spiky haired youth was a bit overwhelmed by all this, but nonetheless answered: "Erm. The're nowhere near here. Because I collect these Egyptian playing cards." He held one up. Regaining his confidence, the boy continued, "Duh. Everybody that collects these things does it alone!"
"And how many... children... collect those... cards?" asked Galus, wondering why the boy wore so much eyeliner.
"Gee... pretty much all of them, I guess."
Galus brightened. It may not have been his homeworld, but it looked like it was pretty close to paradise-gi-oh. He didn't even notice his nose bleeding.
Why was he there? Eh, random fluctuations in space time that had been brought about by the approaching Instrumentality. That and the collective hatred that a number of alternate realities had for the dimension Galus now found himself in.
********
So, long story short, Parnasse and Ishiel climbed the rock. They took the long way, actually, and saw all the curious outcroppings that Fujisawa's book mentioned, even the one that looked disturbingly like unmentionables. Parnasse, clearly more suited to palace life, had quickly shown tremendous skill at falling, so after a few minutes they had gone back and gotten Ura to help him before attempting to climb again. They really deserved the uplifting sensation most people get when reaching the top of the mountain, especially since Ishiel had insisted on carrying her lamp the whole way, and it was a damn shame that it was spoilt. When they got to the top, someone was already there, sitting on the edge, dangling her legs over the side. It's hard to do a victory dance on front of a stranger, no matter how much the situation warrants it. Especially when the stranger is pointedly being unimpressed at the situation. And this person wasn't even turning around to look.
"Hey!" said Ishiel as she pulled herself up to the top. "Who's that?"
Parnasse managed to pull himself to the top, but chose to lay down, gasping for breath and thanking all the gods he knew of. Ura bristled, smelling something not right.
"Bad smell. Bad bad smell. Smell like dead. And metal."
"Yeah?" muttered Ishiel, frowning and looking at the stranger carefully. "No kidding? Like dead, huh?" The Priestess of Earth, feeling a bit like John Wayne (not that she'd understand the reference) unslung her lamp, cautiously moving toward the unfamiliar person. "Excuse me? M'am?" She was quite unprepared for the way the stranger summersaulted backwards, spinning in midair. The stranger landed almost nose-to-nose on front of Ishiel, on tip toes. Oddly enough, while the body was unmistakably female, this person had the face of a wizened old man, complete with beard. And a very unhealthy shade of gray skin. Very unhealthy. Like that of a very dead person.
Ishiel was also unprepared for the way a mesh of red circuitry seemed to sprout from nowhere, covering the person's face and remodeling it into something much more... familiar.
"Hey!" squeeked Kalia cheerfully. "You look just like me! Neat!" The demon god's mad eyes moved from Ishiel to the figures behind her.
"Kalia!" hissed Ura. "Demon God! Bad! Bad! Bad!"
Ishiel took her cue and thrust the lamp of earth into the ground. A pillar of stone sprung up between herself and the Demon God. "Demon God? Ha! I've got the Lamp of Stone! No Demon God is going to scare me... not anymore!" Great ribbons of earth began to surge from the ground, like angry snakes, rushing toward Kalia. Kalia smiled, held up her hand... and watched as the ribbons were suddenly pulled into a glowing dot on front of her palm, like water vanishing down a toilet. Ishiel blinked. "How in the world?"
Kalia held up her other hand. Ishiel didn't even had the time to scream as a second dot appeared, sending her own attack back at her, magnified. She was knocked clear off of Kingfisher, her eyes wide with pain, disbelief, and fear.
"Ura ura ura ura ura!" yelled the armor cat, leaping after her. In a second it was wrapped around her. In another second the cat's claws were stuck into the mountain, slowing and stopping their decent.
Back at the top, however, Parnasse was staring in wide eyed fear at the strange demon god that looked so much like Ishiel. Kalia ignored the boy, picking up the Lamp of Stone where Ishiel had dropped it, admiring it. "Interesting. But why is a mere lamp so powerful?" She felt it with Yuba's power, and smiled. Her hand reached into it, feeling around, and drew back holding a small piece of circuitry. "An amplifier. How nice." She flicked the part into her mouth like a peanut, and swallowed. Then, still smiling her mad little smile, she threw the Lamp at Parnasse, hard enough to leave it half buried in the ground between the boy's legs. Unsurprisingly, Parnasse wet himself. Kalia began to float up into the air. "Now then. Where would the Lost Tribe have put their demon gods? Jinnistacia... Ibn Al-Zahad... where are you? I know just the place for you in my new doomsday device - But I think I'll get some other parts first. The Mantle of God? The Hammer of God? The Armor of God? The Worm of Wrath? So many parts to choose from. Must thank whoever unearthed them all. Well, no, I think I'll just destroy everything that exists instead." Still talking to herself, the Demon God leisurely floated away. She was taking her time.
Leisurely or not though, she'd have been annoyed if she'd known that she was floating right past the only living link to the Lost Tribe's demon gods, and all their other creations. D'oh indeed.
*****
"So tell me," asked Diva chattily, "if you knew about the demon god factory and the Lamp of Stone, why didn't you use them when it looked like the Phantom Tribe were going to destroy the whole world?"
"Oh that," replied Londs. "My girlfriend had just broken up with me to date a bread vendor. I was suicidal at the time."
So it all made sense then after all.
*******
"You do it," whispered one.
"No you," whispered the other.
"Fine. We'll both do it at once."
The Phantom Tribesmen glared at each other before yelling as loud as they could. "Excuse us? We'd like some food! Please?"
They were still in the dungeons after being caught all the way back in post 54. Straightjacketed (Fatora bought bulk and saved Big Bucks). Nahato was still seething from the way Princess Rune had yelled at him.
"We're really sorry..."
"We're cold... and there are rats in here."
"And bits of masonry keep falling in the corridor. I really don't think this place is safe."
"...You don't think they just forgot us, do you?"
There was a drawn-out pause. Then, improbably, a wolf could be heard howling in the distance.
50
« on: May 28, 2003, 01:29:19 am »
And then there are those of us that check on the boards infrequently at best...
51
« on: March 29, 2003, 07:05:10 pm »
Okay, that fixed it. The ending now works. Thank you!
Update:
On the new OPTIONS screen unlocked there's a glitch under sound test 00 (The Title Screen Sound Test). Everything else seems to work fine though. It's a little thing and not going to keep ~me~ up late at night, but I thought you'd like to know for future versions. The exact error message is:
bobglop.cpp: GetPosForName
FATAL ERROR: ENTRY "TITLE" WAS NOT FOUND!!
52
« on: March 29, 2003, 01:44:14 am »
Well, got the final ending. O_O()
You're insane, by the way.
Unfortunately the program seems to be glitching during the final credits (right as the "special dedication" text rolls up). Checked it a few times, (including once on my friend's laptop) and checked to make sure everything had been extracted from winzip properly.
Here's the text from the popup=
Error
bobglob.cpp: GetPosForName
FATAL ERROR: ENTRY "EL8_68" WAS NOT FOUND!!
53
« on: March 28, 2003, 08:46:19 pm »
Actually I'm staying with a friend for a few days, and playing it on her computer (which runs it very well).
I -really- don't want to ask any more (I like to figure these things out myself...) but... to get Miz not liking Fujisawa, does that involve getting her to see him being caught in Jinnai's sake-baited trap?
54
« on: March 28, 2003, 05:08:36 pm »
^_^()()()()()()()
I figured there would eventually be a thread for asking non-technical questions about the El Hazard game... so why not start it? ^_^()()()()()()()
I don't suppose anyone found all nine endings yet? I've found 8 with a friend's help (Rune, Alliele, Ifurita, Makoto, Jinnai, Nanami, Shayla, and Queen Diva). The TAB button is my friend. ^_^()
I also noticed in Rune's ending a screenshot showing her bathing, but didn't notice it in the game. Is there a way to see that scene?
I also read (ages back, don't know where) that you can see a scene with Fatara and Ura at the Arliman springs if you go there in a certain way. I haven't been able to pull it off though (and nearly went sane trying). Oh well.
I dunno if anyone else on the boards has actually played the game, but no harm in asking. ^_^()
P.S. Ishiel's lamp rocks! (*Waits for people to get the pun. Runs.*)
55
« on: March 28, 2003, 01:24:20 am »
To be fair... Makoto did just pretty much throw stuff together to create some invention that he didn't have a clue about. ^_^
56
« on: March 26, 2003, 02:48:26 am »
Well, the download went smooth as silk. I'm afraid I can't get the program to work, but I've learned enough from past experiences to know the problem is probably my computer and not the program. Still, you said to let you know about failure stories as well as success stories...
If I try to run in windowed mode, I get the video file error: "Unsupported color depth". This pops up regardless of what the program's settings or my monitor's settings are.
If I try to run in full screen mode, I get the Video Mode Error: "Cannot set video mode". I'm going to see if I can't find a way around this tomorrow. Thanks again for putting this program together!
57
« on: March 19, 2003, 05:48:45 pm »
=*( That's so so sad. I'm really sorry for your loss.
58
« on: March 19, 2003, 05:48:45 pm »
=*( That's so so sad. I'm really sorry for your loss.
59
« on: March 18, 2003, 11:57:38 pm »
Pioneer is only releasing the second TV series? -_______________-;
Afraid so. Which is beyond weird, since (if I recall correctly) the very FIRST episode of the second series is based upon one of the episodes from the first. The return of a long-thought-dead villain, that sort of thing. Incidentally we're talking about Lupin III, not El Hazard, although I -was- trying to work in a "Pioneer must be nuts!" bit for the El-Hazard fans to appreciate. ^_^() The only link I can find between the series is that the English seiyuu for Miz is also the voice actor for Fujiko Mine (Which is abit... odd... when you consider the fact that Fujiko is meant to be the sexiest thing since Marilyn Monroe). Not that I care about the dub...
60
« on: March 18, 2003, 11:57:38 pm »
Pioneer is only releasing the second TV series? -_______________-;
Afraid so. Which is beyond weird, since (if I recall correctly) the very FIRST episode of the second series is based upon one of the episodes from the first. The return of a long-thought-dead villain, that sort of thing. Incidentally we're talking about Lupin III, not El Hazard, although I -was- trying to work in a "Pioneer must be nuts!" bit for the El-Hazard fans to appreciate. ^_^() The only link I can find between the series is that the English seiyuu for Miz is also the voice actor for Fujiko Mine (Which is abit... odd... when you consider the fact that Fujiko is meant to be the sexiest thing since Marilyn Monroe). Not that I care about the dub...
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