WANTED: A small army of highly disciplined young women, in peak mental and physical condition, willing and able to give themselves to a frankly ridiculous cause.Duties include attacking and subduing villagers possessed by alien Bugrom, pinning them to the ground, and sitting on their heads, in order to deliver a deus ex machina cure.Benefits include attacking and subduing villagers, pinning them to the ground, and sitting on their heads. Flirting and indecent proposals following head-sitting duties are not guaranteed, but they may be expected.Equipment and supplies provided at no cost. Experience with sitting on heads is preferred, but not required. If you require training, please bring your own alien-Bugrom-possessed villager for demonstration purposes.If interested, please report to the Damn Volcano, fer crapssakes.