Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed

[Saucer]

That's so wrong Saucer-san...

Now if I WERE a hentai artist I'd have to steal that idea from you and make a lucrative business out of it.

But instead I think I'll go back to that soda can and wire idea I had.

Well... it doesn't have to be that ecchi! I was thinking more along the lines of "young men's manga" like Dance Til Tommorow. Nothing serious, just a PG-13 sex scene every other page or so......

[Saucer]

Tonight's entires range from dull to disturbing:

Your life will be happy and peaceful. -in bed

You have an unusual magnetic personality. -in bed (does that make me more attractive? *RIMSHOT*)

Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought. -in bed

If you employ a man, don't suspect him. -in bed

You will be surrounded by luxury. -in bed

[Kathy Guinea]

You have an unusual magnetic personality. -in bed (does that make me more attractive? *RIMSHOT*)[/i] -in bed

No it makes you a robot... ... ... ... ... :: tries to hide nosebleed ::

[Saucer]

No it makes you a robot... ... ... ... ... :: tries to hide nosebleed ::

Really?  ...   ...  EXCELLENT!! ::air guitar::

[Wayne]

For my brother's birthday we got together along with some of our family and ate Chinese (alas that their spicy chicken couldn't have been white meat ) for the first time in awhile. And after getting some of our "fortunes," I was drawn back to this little thread....

Life to you is a dashing and bold adventure... in bed.

You will be awarded some great honor... in bed.

He who knows he has enough is rich... in bed.

The problems of today will be buried by the sands of time... in bed.

(And the last one was "Don't put all your eggs in one basket"-- who knew that the Chinese read Aesop? )

[Saucer]

Perserverance makes all things easy -in bed

A single kind word will keep one warm for years -in bed ("Saucer-san, sugoi!")

You are never selfish with your advice or your help -in bed (that's what I keep saying. I suppose I could be a sex therapist, if my face didn't scare chicks)

[MrWhat]

From today's late lunch at the Chinese buffet:

"Haste does not bring success in bed."

Yes, it's all about the Sweet, Sweet Loving, The Whole Night Through.  

[Kathy Guinea]

heh I have been saving a bunch of these for a while... soo I'll just post a few:

Your nature is harmonious and affectionate -- in bed

Your charms have not gone unnoticed by all the angels -- in bed (wouldn't that make a great hentai? :: runs away from the rapist angels :: )

And now for a scary one:

Seek advice from an octogenarian-- in bed

[Captain Southbird (EHOL Creator)]

Seek advice from an octogenarian-- in bed

Wow, that's... O_O  Hmm, guess we know how old of a guy you ought to be dating now.

[Kathy Guinea]

Wow, that's... O_O  Hmm, guess we know how old of a guy you ought to be dating now.

Only if said octogenarian is a bishi robot that looks like he's eternally 25...

I think the cookie hosed me...

[Saucer]

While cleaning up all my accumulated junk at work yesterday......

You can expect a change for the better in job or status in the future -in bed

Yes, some people do try to sleep their way to the top, but......

[MrWhat]

heh I have been saving a bunch of these for a while...

I'm glad that I'm not the only one who actually saves fortune cookie fortunes.  The fortunes that I get here also have kanji printed on the back side, and so I can use them as Japanese language flash cards (even though they only have Chinese-language readings printed on them).

Only if said octogenarian is a bishi robot that looks like he's eternally 25...

I'll "call" your 80-year-old bishounen robot that looks 25, and I'll "raise" you with a 20000-year-old bishoujou demon-god that looks 25.  Although, unfortunately, a 25-year-old female of any kind is a bit too young for me now.

[Kathy Guinea]

I'll "call" your 80-year-old bishounen robot that looks 25, and I'll "raise" you with a 20000-year-old bishoujou demon-god that looks 25.  

:: looks at 80-year old bishounen robot :: Well he's got us there.

Although, unfortunately, a 25-year-old female of any kind is a bit too young for me now.

It's funny you feel that way... I get hit on by middle aged guys about 10 times more often than guys my own age :p I mean... more power to them if they think they look good enough to date a girl could could very well be their daughter... buuut ... _I_ personally find it creepy to date a guy as old as my dad. I also find it disconcerting that  don't get hit on by guys closer to my age range... I think there is something wrong with me.

Here's another fortune: "No one conquers who doesn't fight-- in bed."

[Saucer]

Here's another fortune: "No one conquers who doesn't fight-- in bed."

O_O;

The sad part is, there are people that are into really violent sex. Never quite understood that.  
"You give B&D,
a bad name...."
-Bond Jovi

[Kathy Guinea]

Not every soil can bear all things. Be practical-- in bed