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Author Topic: El-Hazard Round Robin, Part 2  (Read 15401 times)
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« Reply #30 on: December 21, 2003, 06:21:16 pm »

Yume -the real Yume- sat back in her chair and sighed. Though she would never admit it, the stress was taking its toll. And that boy had come so close! She muted the monitor that was displaying Fatora and Alliele's fate at the hands of her double. She could always watch the tape later.

"Do you Do you think he believed it believed it?" The voice was a singularly curious thing, at once coming from far away while at the same time etching itself directly into one's mind, bypassing sensory organs. It came from everywhere and nowhere, clear and distorted, echoing even though it sounded like a vast crowd talking. Although one could not see The Other, one could feel it. Like the presence of a great number of people. And Age, incredible Age.

Yume didn't seem to mind it in the least. She swiveled in her chair and shrugged brightly. "I'd say so. Not the bit about Ifurita, deep down he knows better. The stuff you wanted though... Just enough melodrama. Just enough truth. Just enough make-believe. A delicate balance, but yes, I think he bought it." She grinned. "Good, wasn't I? I can talk advanced bollocks you know. Nothing gets you out of a narrative dead end faster than utter balderdash. Took The Architect's mail course in it." She snorted. "Although I don't know why I'm bothering. The boy's tech touch may be impressive to these locals. Bumpkins that can barely grasp ancient technology... but it's hardly of use to me. I'm giving serious consideration to just vaporizing the boy and being done with it."

"Take care Take care, Master Yume Yume. Our Our alliance is not a certainty inty. Other Other agents are still available able. You you would do well to remember who gave you the coordinates back to El Hazard Hazard. Who Who showed you the secrets of the demon gods gods."

Yume stiffened for a moment, her scientific ego bruised, but then she shrugged. "I managed to perfect what you showed me. I created my two marvels wheras you would have had me building tin soldiers. I would have figured out the initial steps eventually."

"Perhaps Perhaps."

"No perhaps about it. I would have figured it out. I am the greatest genius of all! Which is not to say I'm not grateful for the head start you gave me... and the fact that it means Creteria can still be saved. My love for my home world is strong enough that I will forgive a great deal. But I'd be more grateful if I was told the whole truth. The Great Priestess of water... she's tied into this, isn't she? There's something locked in her genes, isn't there?" She waited, but silence was the only reply to her question. "Ibn Al Zahad and the other demon god... they're meant for her, aren't they? I attempted to activate those two before, and was rebuffed, loathe though I am to admit it. Their technology impresses me. That of Kalia's creator... doesn't as much."

"You underestimate You underestimate Kalia considerably ably."

"No. Kalia terrifies me, just not for her technology. She is willing to do things that should not be done, and I will stop at nothing to nullify the threat she poses. Not that it's as bad as I made out to Mizuhara. Creteria is certainly dying, but I'd hardly be wasting time with anyone but Kalia if she was the cause, now would I? He'd see through that lie, if he didn't have so much on his plate. But don't change the subject." Yume scowled, venom dripping from her words. "That Priestess is another key player, isn't she?" Again, silence. "Kalia was created before Ibn Al Zahad, that much is obvious just from a rudimentary exam. Al Zahad and the other are light years more advanced than anything else I've scanned on the planet. Kalia's predecessor can be reached without going through the lava. Al Zahad cannot. The tribe that made Al Zahad was not the one that made Kalia. Ibn Al Zahad's tomb has nothing to do with Kalia, except common natural defences. You're trying to lure Makoto... and that priestess... to Al Zahad."

"TheThe Priestess to Ibn Al Zahad, Jinnistacia, and the destiny that the Northern Weaponers forged for her Lost Tribe tribe. Makoto Makoto to Kalia's creator - their fates diverge verge."

"What are you playing at, oh wonderous ally of mine?"

"Surely Surely you know all about the Palace of Infinity Infinity. You are You are the genius, Master Yume Yume. You You tell us us," replied The Other.

Yume scowled, wondering what this "Palace" was, but remained silent. She could sense that The Other was gone.

She flipped off thin air anyway.


"What is this?" asked Pretty Magical God Jinnie. In order to pass the time while she awaited her new costume, she was looking through the scrolls detailing the Phantom Tribe's experiments in Kingfisher. Most of the computer data had been lost in Kalia's attack, but some printouts had survived.

"That's just the data on the half-breed project," scowled Nahato, "a complete waste of our resources. Even with years of programmed memories, we couldn't alter the experiment's core personality enough to prevent her subconcious hatred of us. I suspect she failed in her mission deliberately."

"Her face is very familiar to me..."

"Really? We were working with specially treated cell samples found in a cache of ancient war machines."

Pretty Magical God Jinnie grinned in a sugar sweet way. "Yes, she probably would have left around a large number of such booby traps, Naughty Master." And then she frowned, in about the cutest way possible, putting a finger to her lips. "We never did figure out how they built that demon god. Not an android, not a nanite-altered human, not even a cyborg. Really is a noodle scratcher."


"When was this?" asked Kalia, dragging Ishiel's battered conciousness into a blocked memory. "Why is everyone... blue?"


"What the hell?" exclaimed Shayla-Shayla, tripping over the blue archive disk Crayna had left behind. She hit the ground with a thud, and when she opened her eyes she was looking directly at a note Crayna had left behind. "And this thingy is important," it read, "don't know why, can't get it to work, I'm just repeating what I was told. Love, sensei. P.S. I helped myself to a drink for the road." Shayla's eyes went wide as she looked to where Mt. Muldoon's ample alcohol supply used to be.


"Who the hell?" asked Nanami, still naked, stepping through her latest portal and running directly into her brother. Who was ordering the Bugrom to fire their salvaged cannons de boom boom at Yume's Lab Ship, and who was still awaiting hot water.


"Can I make it?" wondered Fujisawa-sensei silently, using all his super-speed in an attempt to reach the spot Ifurita's limp form was falling toward.


"What's that?" thought Ifurina, watching as Ifurita fell.
« Last Edit: December 22, 2003, 08:06:46 pm by d.t. » Logged

"You're going to dump me, your childhood friend, for a little chippie with a precocious set of melons?!" -Nanami
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« Reply #31 on: December 22, 2003, 07:06:45 pm »

OOC:  The second half of this reply contains strong adult humor.  Reader discretion is advised.  (I mostly copied it from the web comic "Sparkling Generation Valkyrie Yuuki, issue 5, page 3."  Link contains spoilers!)

A dishevelled and disgruntled Ryoko floated into what might or might not have been Dr. Yume's lab.  She glanced at what might or might not have been Dr. Yume, with an expression of disgust, before floating to the other side of the room.

Ryoko went up to a kitchen counter, poured a cup of cold and bitter coffee from a nearly empty pot, picked a stale donut from a greasy cardboard box, and sat at a small table near the counter.  She set her donut and coffee down, and began sifting through a stack of newspapers, looking for the funnies.

Yume raised a furry eyebrow.  "Erm... Ryoko?  What are you doing?"

Ryoko rolled her eyes, and answered without turning.  "Why, I'm playin' the bagpipes...  What does it look like I'm doin'?  I'm takin' my evening shift coffee break."

"Oh, that's nice," Yume said, with as much snarkiness as she could muster.  "Well, you enjoy your fifteen-minute break, while the rest of us carry on with the bloody great INVASION!!"

Ryoko did not reply directly, but she growled dangerously as she continued to look through the newspapers.  "Where's the comics page?...  Aw nuts, you ain't even got today's paper."

Yume continued.  "It's just, I thought you might be personally grateful to me, and maybe even willing to put in a little extra effort, after I sent the two alternate Ifuritas out, at great personal risk to my cute fuzzy little person, to save your sorry tochis."

Ryoko slammed her hands to the table, spilling a little coffee, and stood up.  "That's it...  We need to have a little talk.  And I'm goin' back on the clock.  I'm not wastin' my break on you."

Yume grinned snarkily, as Ryoko stomped towards her.  "Of course, dear.  You know I have an open-door management policy.  I'm always pleased to receive feedback from my valued employees-- URK!!"

Ryoko had grabbed Yume by her cute fuzzy little neck.  "Shut it, Whisker Girl.  I dunno if I got you, or another one o' yer devious doubles.  But if you don't shaddap shaddenap, I'm gonna find out after I squeeze yer scrawny neck, and pop this cute fuzzy little head like an over-ripe tomato."

"*ack eep*" said Yume, as she struggled helplessly for air, making big sad kitten eyes.

"Now, then," Ryoko began.  "First, we need ta clear up some apparent confusion as to exactly who I'm workin' for.  If I can trust the memories that you gave me (and we both know full well that I can't), you created both me an' Hishima.  And both me an' the rest o' creation are forever grateful to you fer bringin' the sweet, gentle, and impossibly beautiful uchuu-kaizoku Ryoko into existence.

"However, as the greatest scientific genius in the universe, or as an unreasonable fascimile thereof, you'll be aware of how demon gods always seem to work best with a master of the opposin' gender.  And on top o' that, you will recall that there were problems with my obedience circuit.  So, while Hishima has always been under yer cute fuzzy little thumb, I was never anythin' but trouble for ya.

"So, to get me outta your fur, you directly and permanently enslaved me to the foppish yet strikingly handsome male heirs of the royal families of Creteria.  The current heir bein' my Dallsy-Wallsy-- er, I mean, His Excellence, The Great Emperor Dall Narciss the Third.  To the limited extent that I takes orders from anyone-- I takes my orders from him.  Not you.  Him.  And by your own paws.

"Mebbe he's delegated some authority to you, but that don't count fer squat with me.  And mebbe he wouldn't want me to rough up his precious scientific advisor, but I could still do a lot o' damage to your cute fuzzy little person, not to mention yer precious laboratory. And he wouldn't hold it against me after he heard my side of the story.  An' don't forget, your precious Hishima is still in the tank, so I wouldn't have to go through him first.


"*ack eep*" capiched a blue-in-the-face Yume.

Ryoko relaxed her grip on Yume, allowing her to breathe again.  "Alrighty then.  Now, about your havin' saved my skinny butt.  Well, yeah, believe me, I'm grateful to be here.  But a certain greatest scientific genius in the universe coulda saved me a lot o' physical and mental sufferin' if she had sent those other two Ifuritas with me in the first place-- instead of keepin' 'em to herself, an' leavin' me to start a solo battle with a perfectly matched opponent.

"But no.  The genius was too busy playin' head games with some teenager to realize that, sooner or later, I'd have to sacrifice myself to stop Ifurita.  Or, better yet, she was playin' head games with me too, an' she decided to let me twist in the wind, thinkin' I was gonna die, cryin' like a little girl the whole time.

"An' let me tell you somethin', hair ball.  Ifurita's got somethin' you ain't got, and somethin' I got too little of, myself.  It's called honor.  She defeated your Hishima with honor, even after the dirty tricks he must have pulled on her.  An' she fought me so honorably that it made me cry.  I'm proud to have done battle with her, and I'd be proud to call Ifurita my friend, if this insanity ever ends.

"Oh, an' one other thing I just heard about.  The next time you build a robotic duplicate of my big handsome Dall, and program him for some sweet perverted yaoi lovin'?  You had better damn well tell me about it ahead of time, so that *I* get to watch!!"

As Ryoko finally released Yume's neck, turned around, and stomped back to her coffee, Yume made a mental note:  Yes, the Makoto+Dall experiment would have had the desired effect of distracting Ryoko... though not exactly in the manner first intended.

Ryoko sat back down, took a big bite of donut, slurped some coffee, and resumed her search for the funny papers.  An uncomfortable silence fell over the room.

Yume finally spoke again.  "Shall I make a fresh pot of coffee, dear?  I could use a warm-up, myself."

Ryoko looked up, smiling pleasantly in gratitude.  "Thanks, hon.  But make it decaf, please.  If I have too much caffeine, I get all high-strung and irritable."

Jinnai was grateful that she had been in girl-form when she was reunited with her dear sweet little sister Nanami.  Nanami hadn't seemed to recognize the female Jinnai, and so her dear sweet little sister hadn't tried to choke the life out of her.

Only a little less importantly, the sight of her dear sweet little sister buck naked would have given the male Jinnai the screaming heebie-jeebies.  But in girl-form, it didn't seem to bother her.  Instead, Jinnai cheerfully ordered up a fresh set of clothes for the grateful Nanami, and sent a clothed Nanami on her non-dimensional-portal way.

Jinnai was also pleased to see that Nanami was human again.  One less demon god to deal with, she thought.  And, Jinnai thought with a smirk, Nanami's still carrying her li'l plasticky pink toy axe around, and hugging it to herself, so she's obviously not dealing with her loss of powers as well as I did.  With luck, her next mental breakdown will put her in the looney bin for good.

After that, Jinnai finally tired of waiting for her incompetent minions to bring her some hot water.  She repaired to the baths adjoining her private rooms, to take care of the problem herself.  She wanted a hot shower anyway-- the poor dear had been soaked to the skin under the Demon God Factory sprinker system, and she didn't want to catch a cold.

And so it was that Jinnai caught another glimpse of herself, in a full-length bath room mirror, wearing only a towel.

So, I'm a girl now, she thought.  And an attractive girl, at that...  With lovely big warm eyes, long flowing black hair, and delicate smooth pale skin...

And bodacious ta-ta's.

Jinnai turned away from the mirror, looking over her bare shoulder, and ba-bump'ed her assets.  Oh my, she thought, with an unwholesome giggle.  Baby got back.

GAH!!, she suddenly thought.  I'm getting turned on by myself!  This is no way for the Lord God Jinnai, Illustrious Potentate of the Bugrom Empire, and Master of His Domain, to comport himself... er, herself.

And I'm most definitely not going to...

Jinnai suddenly thought about all the wonderful things still hidden under her towel, and gulped.  
Maybe... just a touch?, she thought.  It wouldn't hurt to...

She shifted her feet apart a little, held the lower half of her bath towel open with one hand, reached down with her other hand, and...

Her lovely big warm eyes suddenly went all shiny and happy.  OOH!!, she thought, with a cute yet disturbing little gasp.

Making a mental note to take a cold shower later, Jinnai kneeled in front of the mirror, dropped her towel, and watched herself get busy.

Some time later, Londs came to Jinnai's private rooms, and knocked on the closed door.  "Mr. Jinnai?  Our Lady Deva would like a word regarding the invasion defenses."

Jinnai answered him through the door with her girl-form voice.  Strangely, she seemed to be breathing heavily.  "*hanh* Come back *hanh* in the morning *hanh* wouldja?"

Londs frowned, and knocked again.  "Uh, Mr. Jin-- er, Miss Jinnai?  Are you quite alright?"

"Ohhhh, YESSS!!" Jinnai answered, in a Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally kind of way, only with true feeling.

Sadly for both Londs and Jinnai, the outer door was unlocked.  Londs, concerned for his co-advisor, opened the door, peeked into Jinnai's room, and saw what Jinnai was still doing to herself, even after her cold shower.

"JUMPIN' JEHOSAPHAT ON A POGO STICK!!" said Londs.  His nifty hat cartoonishly flipped into the air.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!" said Jinnai.  Unfortunately, she was in no, uh, position to quickly cover herself.

Londs slammed Jinnai's door shut, and fell back against the wall next to it, with a look of cold terror in his wide eyes.  Yes, he had just seen a pretty girl doin' it to herself like there was no tomorrow, and loving it.  But the pretty girl was... Jinnai.

After a moment, Londs straightened his skewed hat, pulled a hand over his frazzled beard, and breathed out heavily.  He began to stagger away, still feeling light-headed and unsteady on his feet.  Ohh-kay, Londs thought.  Not going there for the rest of the night.
« Last Edit: December 22, 2003, 07:15:30 pm by mrwhat » Logged
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« Reply #32 on: December 22, 2003, 10:36:52 pm »

"Emperor, our boomer enhanced Creterian Demon Gods are being pushed back!" Lieutenant #1 announced, bowing before his leader.

Dall smashed his fist against the balcony.  "Curse it all!  These El-Hazardians are proving to be more resistant than we anticipated!  Well, I won't let their insolence defeat our glorious empire!  Long live Creteria!"

In response, the Bugrom fired their salvaged cannons de boom boom.  

"Shields!" Dall commanded, eyes widening in fear as the ancient attack drew near.  3 light hawk wings sprang into existence around his vessel, deflecting the worst of the assault.  However, the sheer force behind the cannons de boom boom spun the ship around and caused extensive exterior damage as the vessel nearly shook itself apart.

Dall's eyes narrowed in anger.  "That's it.  No more mister nice tyrant.  That last attack nearly made me lose my lunch.  Lieutenant, it's time we unleash our most horrifying weapon."

Lieutenant #1 cowered in fear.  "No, anything but that my lord!  Not even _they_ deserve to confront that horror!"

"True," Dall agreed, voice hardening, "but our enemies have left us no choice.  To attain victory we must be willing to use every weapon in our arsenal, even...*shudder* this one.  Release the Richard Simmons robot!"


A golden humanoid robot wearing a speedo dropped to the ground in front of the Bugrom Demon Gods.  A smile was on its face as a speaker emerged from its body.

"Hi everyone!" the robot said cheerfully.  "Are you ready to...Shake your booty!  Shake your booty!"

"Chuuuuu!" a Bugrom Demon God exclaimed in horror as it fired its staff at the appropriated Simpsons gag.  Unfortunately, the energy beam merely passed through the robot's head which reformed a moment later in a manner familiar to anyone who's seen Terminator 2.

Shake your booty!

Mass panic ensued again.


"Kauru, snap out of it!  You've got to stop crying and save Ishiel before Kalia does who knows what to her!  Please!  Ura's drowning in a puddle of tears for crying out loud!"

Hearing Parnasse's yelling, the Priestess of Water collected herself for a moment and looked down.  Sure enough, Ura was trying his hardest to stay afloat in a surprisingly deep puddle of tears.  Kauru had the grace to look embarrassed.

"Oh Ura, I'm so sorry!  Here, let me help you!" she offered, grabbing the armor cat by the back of the neck and setting him on dry land.  

"Ura grateful that smell-nice girl no longer be sad," Ura said as he shook himself dry.  "What we do next?"

The question was answered as a dozen Phantom Tribers dropped their invisibility illusions and surrounded them.
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« Reply #33 on: December 23, 2003, 03:55:10 am »

Myuun stood in the great observatory, using the most powerful telescope in Baron in an attempt to see the battle. She could make very little out, but she felt it important to try. The reports from scouts were getting fewer and further apart. Scouts were deserting. As had most of the nobility.


It would be some time before she knew what her new title was. She would maintain leadership in Baron, but of course Baron was now part of the New Bugrom Empire. Titles would change. It didn't matter. She was a leader. If the Creterians won this day, she would try to bargain with them for the protection of her people. As a leader should. And if the Creterians would not treat her people well, she would fight until they came for her. She would stand firm and look them in the eyes until... well, until they killed her.

Because that was what a leader did. A leader had responsibilities. A leader had to take action, regardless of the personal costs. A leader couldn't be bothered with personal danger. That was why, two years ago, before the coming of Mizuhara, before the opening of the Eye of God, she had broken the greatest taboo of the royalty of Baron. And now she walked down the observatory's stairs, through a number of secret passages, and into a very secret chamber, breaking that greatest of taboos again.

The room was called the Mantle of God. As near as she understood it, the great ribbonlike decorations along the room's walls were in fact circuits of a very powerful machine. The throne in the room's center was an interface. Sitting in the throne, as she did now, allowed one to see things happening far away. More importantly, a link was created between the user's mind and the machine. As she understood it, the link was able to greatly enhance one's thought processes - especially one's ability to predict the future. Since her predictions had usually turned out to be correct, Myuun had been consulting it with increasing regularity. She was getting quite proficient in its use. This time she didn't black out, and she hardly screamed at all.

This is what she saw.

Jinnai was male again, and dressed.
"This is the war room, Londs, he explained. "With all of my best men in the field, I need you here at all times. All incoming messages arrive here," he continued, pointing to the window where the smallest type bugrom were occasionally appearing, dropping off scrolls before zipping out again. "You read the messages. If any describe a change in troop positions, you make the appropriate changes on the situation board." Jinnai now drew Lond's attention to the magnificent replica of the city, laid out on a giant table in the room's center. "Wach red marker represents a squad of our basic units. The brown markers are our demon gods. The black markers are the Creterian ships. The white markers are their demon gods." He drew him up to his full height, whirling and glaring at Londs. "Looking at this board for the first time, Londs, maybe you saw something I have overlooked. Did you see anything Londs?"

"No! I saw nothing! I didn't even look in there!"

Jinnai sweatdropped. "Swell."


Ifurita fell for what seemed like an eternity.


One side's demon gods would hurl a challenge, 'twould be accepted by the other's, the battle would be enjoined, one side would fall, and the other side would go on to begin the cycle anew. That was the battle.


A single cargo ship broke away from the Creterian fleet, landing far enough away from the battle to go unnoticed. The ship's manefesto maintained that it was empty. Which, if you ignored all the nasty eggs and giant bugs inside it, it was. The humans of Creteria weren't the only ones trying to leave that dying world.

There were three men on that ship, which is fitting, because there are three main types of Creterian Bugrom, and each type was on that ship with the three men. Anyone familiar with Jinnai's misadventures on Creteria knew about the first two, the workers and brood queens. Jinnai had not encountered the third type, for which he should be greatful. The three poor men on that ship had, one of them very recently.

On earth there are certain types of parisite. They hatch inside of insects, and to an extent take control of their unfortunate hosts. The host insect acts in ways it normally wouldn't. It may infect others of its kind. It may find itself laying parasite eggs instead of its own. Very unpleasant.

The wasp variety of Creterian Bugrom would sting its prey and then lay an eggsac on the victim's neck. After a remarkably short time, the eggsac would deflate, injecting the offspring into the victim's skull. The offspring would become so interwoven with the victim's brain, that safe removal was impossible. Moreover it would begin to alter the host's mental processes, making it want to do as the Creterian Bugrom wanted. Two of the Creterians already served the hive loyally. The third was just beginning to understand that he was a lower creature. He could feel the bug making him feel that way. And he was begining to feel happy that the bug was doing that.

But it would be a long time before this ship entered the story again.


Kauru wiped the tears from her yes and regarded the Phantom Tribesmen with a look that would have surprised anyone that ever knew her. Have you ever wondered what Goliath must have felt like, when he saw that stone coming toward his head, thrown with surprising acuracy by that pathetic little boy that nobody had ever really considered a threat? More to the point, have you ever wondered what it would be like to be hit by a monsoon and a tidal wave, simultaneously, at ground zero? Well, now those Phantom Tribesmen knew.


There was a war going on in Ifurita's mind. She knew that if the virus won, she would be forced to fight Makoto. She could not allow that. So as the virus laid claim to part of her mind, she sacrificed herself - she shut that part down.


The water flowed away, returning to the subteranean caverns Kauru had called it from, taking her would-be attackers with it. But a simple rod remained, dropped by one of the Phantom Tribe. Without knowing why, Kauru felt drawn to it. It was a simple piece of Ancient Technology, no more important than the music machine Makoto had once found. Except that it had been built with technology learned from defeating Arjah, and the way Kauru was drawn to it confirmed what Pretty Demon God Jinni suspected. Kauru was drawn to the Ancient Technology of the Northern Weaponers, had a fundamental link with it.

And the genes within her, which were drawing her to her people's demon gods, were exerting a more powerful influence.

Parnasse had fainted when the earth split and the water began to gush, in case anyone was wondering.


Makoto stepped through the door. He was outside the ship, standing on the narrowest of platforms, the air whipping through his hair, threatening to tear him from the flimsy foothold. As he stepped out he saw Ifurita, not far below him, falling.

It would be suicide to try and go after her. Being in love, and thus a fool, he jumped after her anyway.

On the ground, Fujisawa leapt up with all his might.

In the air, Ifurina moved faster than she would have ever thought possible, zooming downward and forward.

Fujisawa's teeth rattled as he made contact. He couldn't believe how heavy Ifurita felt, even in the air.

Ifurina's mouth opened in a surprised "oh!" as she made contact. She couldn't believe how light Makoto felt, with her new demon god powers.

Makoto reached out, squirming in Ifurina's arms. He fingertips brushed against Ifurita's face for a fraction of a second. It was enough. Her eyes opened as Makoto concentrated as hard as he ever had, focusing his power into a scalpel, lancing the virus from Ifurita's mind. And Ifurita, in that moment of brief contact, saw what Makoto needed her to see. He loved her. With all his heart, with all his mind, he loved her.

Ifurita grabbed Fujisawa, flying up to hold Makoto's hand. He smiled, knowing that she loved him too. And he showed her something he had seen while in contact with Yume's ship. Ifurita handed Fujisawa to a confused Ifurina, turning her attention to the Creterian fleet. Her eyes glowed as she raised her hand.



Ifurita didn't have a great deal of energy left. The attack would have been useless against a demon god - she wouldn't have known where to strike. But Makoto had seen the schematics of the Creterian ships. He knew what was most crucial.

In the basement of Shinonome High School, a number of small objects appeared on the ground, brought by the pwoer Ifurita had learned from the Eye of God. In total they didn't even weigh as much as a cat.

The Creterian ships began to collide, sparks flying every which way from their hulls, as pilots discovered that a handful of very small parts are absolutely essential for controlling any vessel.

Narrowing her eyes, Ifurita rejoined the battle.


Myunn rose unsteadily to her feet and staggered from her chair. There was a taste of copper in her mouth - she must have bit herself again, while viewing through the mantle. No matter. She had much to consider.





A conversation:

"Her heart and intentions are pure. Her link with the Mantle provides opportunity. She can provide us access to the Palace. We should act now. We could use the Crown on her," the first said.

"Act now. Agreed," said the second.

There was a pregnant pause before a third opinion was voiced. "No. There are too many variables. We have discussed this. The creator of the Trigger of Destruction and her dolls. The Great Priestess and her demon gods. The Bugrom, and the Ancient Bugrom. The Phantom Tribe. The Creterians. And the other variables. All must be removed before we proceed. We have waited too long to fail now."

There was another pause, an angry one this time. "We should act now," said the first.

"Act now. Agreed," said the second.

"Wait," said the third.

Another pause, thoughtful this time.

"Wait," said the second, "Agreed."

"Agreed," said the first.

"We We wait wait."
« Last Edit: December 23, 2003, 04:07:25 am by d.t. » Logged

"You're going to dump me, your childhood friend, for a little chippie with a precocious set of melons?!" -Nanami
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« Reply #34 on: December 23, 2003, 10:37:49 am »

"Say, have we met?" asked Fujisawa as he looked up at Ifurina, who was holding him in the air over the battlefield.

"Oh, hi! I'm Ifurina, I work at the palace!" The new Demon God flashed the confused teacher a friendly smile.

"Oh. I didn't know they had Demon Gods working at the palace. Huh." Fujisawa looked away from the girl and down at the battlefield. A horrible sight caught his eye. "Good GOD! What the heck is that?!"

Ifurina followed his gaze and saw the Cretarian Hell Weapon, Richard Simmons Bot, laying waste to several of the Bugrom Demon Gods. "Oh no! We have to go save them!"

With a burst of speed, Ifurina flew towards the great evil monstrosity.


"Hmph, well, that takes care of him for a few hours," muttered Jinnai as he left the so-called "war room." In all actuality, it was really just a ploy to get Londs out of the way. As much as Jinnai respected the older man's abilities, the fact that Londs had seen his female form doing unmentionable things to herself could not be ignored. He felt embarrassed around his co-Advisor, and at such a crucial moment in the defense of the capital he couldn't afford any distractions.

The Lord God walked along the ranks of his Bugrom Tank Division, watching with much mirth as the Cannons de Boom Boom blasted away at the Cretarian fleet. "Good work, men! Keep it up! Blast these alien dopes back to where they came from!"

From a nearby clump of trees, the Demon God Ryoko watched silently. "What? That scrawny guy's the leader of the Bugrom forces? That... wimp is the genius smashing back the might of the Cretarian army?" She eyed Jinnai with distaste. "Whatever."

The space piraa... er, Demon God rushed forwards, blasting several of the Bugrom soldiers who dared stand in her way. Jinnai saw the strange, spiky haired woman approach, an alarmed look on his face. Before he knew it, Ryoko grabbed him by the neck and took off into the air. His Bugrom troops shouted in alarm, many calling for air support.

"Unhand me at once, you hag!" screamed Jinnai as he struggled in Ryoko's arms.

"Can it, bug boy," said the Demon God with a smirk. "I'm givin you as a present to my Emperor. Once you're outta the way, I think your stupid Bugs are finished." Ryoko laughed as she phased out, taking Jinnai with her.


Dall Narcis III, after changing into a new pair of pants, calmly assessed the situation. His flagship was heavily damaged, and could not move since its directional stabilizers seems to have gone missing. Therefore they were sitting ducks.

"Emperor," spoke up the captain. "Our other ships are reporting similar difficulties with their directional stabilizers. All of them have sustained heavy damage and numerous casualties... I am suggesting with surrender."

Dall's pride flared for a moment, furious at the captain for even suggesting such a thing. But his drive for self preservation won over, as he really didn't want to die. He sweated heavily and took a sip of his iced tea; the thought of surrendering looked more and more attractive by the second.

Unseen by the Emperor, Ryoko appeared behind him, holding Jinnai in a headlock. She smiled and jabbed a finger into the tall man's ribs, laughing when he squealed and threw his hands up in fright. Her laughing stopped, however, when the iced drink he was holding splashed onto her and her prisoner.

"RYOKO!" screamed Dall as he turned around. "HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT... TO... to... to..."

"Sorry, Sire," Ryoko saluted, releasing her grip on Jinnai. "I have brought the commander of the Bugrom forces," she smiled evilly, "to do with as you like."

Dall looked at her present, his eyes going large and sparkly. Ryoko hid a blush. "Excellent work, Ryoko!" The Demon God blinked in surprise when the Emperor pushed past her and grabbed the prisoner's hands.

"What the HELL?!" Ryoko jumped away from Jinnai in surprise. Instead of the pale, skinny young man she had kidnapped, a beautiful, dark-haried young woman stood in his place. She had long black hair and pale skin, and was wearing the same clothes Jinnai had.

"This is just great," muttered the Lord God as she looked at the Cretarian emperor, who had hearts cartoon hearts floating around his head. The transformed girl pulled her hands out of Dall's grasp and glared at him. "This is intolerable! This act goes against the Geneva Convention, the Warsaw Treaty, the Patriot Act... the, uh... Florestica... um, Anti-Kidnapping clause... I DEMAND THAT YOU RELEASE ME AT ONCE!"

"Of course, of course!" Dall nodded. "But first, you look tired and famished. Please, you must have dinner with me! Oh, and you're all wet, I appologize profusely!" He wiped away the blood from his nose before turning to Ryoko. "How dare you manhandle a prisoner of war! Get the young lady a change of clothes, at ONCE!" The Emperor turned back to the vision of loveliness before him, his eyes becoming all googly and love struck.

"B-B-but..." Ryoko stammered, both confused with girl-type Jinnai's appearance as well as pissed at Dall's drooling.

"I said GO!" shouted the Emperor, his greedy eyes not leaving his captured enemy's lovely form.

"F-fine!" Ryoko stormed off the bridge, tears forming in her eyes. "Stupid twit!"

"Please, sit down, my dear," Dall led the increasingly nervous Jinnai over to his throne, bidding her to sit down.

"Uh... can I go now?" she asked hopefully.

Dall laughed, waving his arms about like a buffoon. "Oh, no! I must insist that you stay for dinner! My chefs make the finest meals in all of the universe! Plus, we must get you out of your clothes, GAK, I mean out of your wet clothes, GAAAK, I mean into some dry clothes! Yes, yes... yes indeed..."

Jinnai sighed. Things were certainly much less complicated and thoroughly less aggravating when her enemies tried to kill her.


Ifurina and Fujisaw landed a few meters away from the rampaging Richard Simmons Bot. It was gyrating about, its hips going to and fro in horrible, horrible rhythm.

"Oh the horror... the horror!" Mr. Fujisawa turned around, clutching at his eyes. "I can't waaatch!"

"OW! MY BRAIN HAS MELTED!" screamed a Bugrom Demon God as it collapsed into its death throes.

"Shake it, baby!" said the evil monstrosity as it danced about. "Come on, feel the burn!"

"Stop this at once!" Ifurina called out. "Leave those little guys alone! They didn't do anything to you!"

The RSB turned its evil, glowing red eyes at the Demon God. "Shake it shake it shake it!" sang the robot as it gyrated closer.

"Oh no, it's coming this waaay!" cried Fujisawa.

"It's power is immense," remarked Over-Run, his sensors beeping out in warning. "I have never seen anything like it! It is beyond even Unicron's evil!"

"Shake your booty! Shake your booty!" sang the inhuman fiend.

While everyone around panicked and died, Ifurina merely stood by, watching the funny little robot dance. "Um," she put a finger to her lips in confusion. "Gee, is it gonna attack?"

"Aaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!" cried Fujisawa in pain. "It is! It is!"

Ifurina blinked. "Um, but it's just dancing." Fujisawa answered with a scream.

The RSB, getting rather annoyed with the girl in front of him, decided to amp it up a bit. "SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE! SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE! SHAKE YOUR BOOTY! SHAKE YOUR BOOTY!" It ships and thighs whirled about, its vile evil movements enough to blind anyone who dared look.

Only Ifurina seemed immune. "Oh wow!" She laughed and clapped her hands. "That's great! You're really talented, Mr. Robot sir!"

The RSB growled in fury, its red optics flaring in hatred. The evil aura around it grew ten fold, making everyone except Ifurina faint. It activated its full power, going to 100% battle capacity. With inhuman vigor, the robot gyrated like it had never before.


"Yay!" Ifurina laughed, clapping to the rhythm.

Smoke began to billow from the RSB's joints. Its gold plated skin started to melt, and its head began to rattle. Numerous beeping sounds emenated from its interior, warning of an imminent breakdown. With a mighty boom, the evil that was the Richard Simmons Bot exploded. Confetti rained down all around.

"Aww, it stopped," said Ifurina sadly.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2003, 11:36:28 am by lord_god_jinnai » Logged

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He's so excitingly bold!

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« Reply #35 on: December 23, 2003, 09:21:15 pm »

Yume was the self-proclaimed greatest scientific genius in the universe, but even she had her limits.  She practically never made outright mistakes, but when she was under a great deal of pressure to perform, she had an unfortunate habit of pushing her luck, as Ryoko had noted.

Without fully realizing it, Yume had pushed her luck when she had left Fatora and Alielle at the paws of one of her devious doubles.  She had under-estimated the hentai abilities of Fatora and Alielle, and the effectiveness of those abilities against a cute little cat-girl, robotic double or no.

Fatora and Alielle made short work of Yume's poor little robotic double, in a HFFAAKO way.

After that, Fatora and Alielle found themselves free to wander the battle cruiser, ignored in the continuous state of panic (brought on by the fierce Bugrom resistance) belied by Ryoko's leisurely coffee break.

They wandered the path that Makoto had taken.  As they stepped through a last door, they found themselves outside the ship, standing on the narrowest of platforms, the air whipping through their hair, threatening to tear them from the flimsy foothold.

Unfortunately, a weakened Ifurita had earlier used much of her remaining energy to dimensionally remove absolutely essential bits from the cruiser, and at that moment, it was floundering like nobody's business.

Fortunately for Fatora and Alielle, their cruiser did not brush against another cruiser in mid air, against the side where they clung.  If it had, they would have both met a mercifully quick but gruesome squishy death.

Unfortunately for Fatora and Alielle, their cruiser was still floundering like nobody's business.  They were both quickly thrown off-balance.

Fortunately for Fatora, she grabbed part of the narrow platform, and her grip held.

Unfortunately for Alielle, she grabbed part of Fatora, and her grip atypically failed.

Fortunately for everyone, Ryoko phased up from out of nowhere, breaking the annoying 'fortunately / unfortunately' cycle.  She caught up the falling Alielle in mid-air, then phased to the platform and grabbed Fatora.  And then, she phased to the ground with them both, bringing them to a quiet corner of the Floristica palace complex.

A grinning Ryoko held a whimpering Alielle out to an astounded Fatora.  "Yours, I think," Ryoko said.

Fatora took Alielle back, and gave her a genuinely grateful non-hentai loving hug.  Alielle glomped Fatora in return, slowly sliding down Fatora's body like a fireman on a pole.

Then Fatora looked back to Ryoko.  "I don't believe I've had the pleasure?..."

Ryoko bowed theatrically, with a smug self-satisfied smile.  "Demon God Ryoko, at yer service."

Alielle was still whimpering into Fatora's britches.  But Fatora was suddenly taken with Ryoko's not-inconsiderable beauty.  After Dall-3 had spilled some of his tea on her, Ryoko had freshened her make-up, and changed into one of her more daring midriff-baring outfits.

Fatora quickly fell into a response she had prepared and rehearsed for rescues by female demon gods.  "Oh!  You simply must let me repay you for this favor properly!  Please, feel free to take me an' my associate back to your place, or mine, and ravish us both.  Me an' Alielle together at once, or in an order of your choosing, as long as I'm first."

Ryoko took this offer in stride.  "I must respectfully decline your kind offer, milady.  Even if I am currently of the opinion that men are callous insensitive freakin' jerks who should be freakin' hung by their FREAKIN'--"

In her sudden anger at the callous insensitive freakin' Dall-3, Ryoko had accidentally summoned her weapon.  The point of the weapon had materialized just under a terrified Fatora's chin.  Ryoko giggled, and cutely stuck out her tongue, as she dismissed her weapon.  "Oops.  Sorry 'bout that, hon."

Then Ryoko leaned forwards, held Fatora's chin, and looked deeply into Fatora's eyes as she completed her thought.  Fatora felt Ryoko's hot sweet demon god breath on her face.  It smelled strangely of coffee and donuts.

"But it wouldn't work out, anyway," Ryoko whispered.  "Y'see, even if I wasn't a demon god?  Well, I'm afraid that I'd be far more woman than li'l ole you could handle."

Ryoko gave Fatora's cheek a condescending little pat, and stood away.  But, for once, Fatora was at a loss for a snarky come-back.  "wow," Fatora said, in a very small and squeaky voice.

"But I would like to ask a favor," Ryoko said.  "I've been meaning to ask you for some time.  You simply must tell me where you get your fabulous straitjackets."

"Oh, that's an easy one," Fatora said.  "Go to babump.com, and click on fashion.  You can save beaucoup roshtals if you buy in bulk, and they aren't collecting state sales tax yet, so it's a bargain either way.  And I'm sure they could customize something for you, such that it would be delightfully inescapable, even for a demon god."

"Kewl," Ryoko said.  "Welp, pleased to make yer acquaintance.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go not fight a war, and childishly pout some more."

"One more favor, real quick?" Fatora said, raising her hand.

Ryoko raised an eyebrow.  "Yeah?..."

"Um, I don't know if you could possibly be captured, and I don't know how much political power I have around here now... but I'll try to help you out, if it comes to that."

Ryoko crossed her arms and sighed.  "And in return?"

Fatora grinned a cunning-plan grin, and spoke slowly, in a strangely chilling voice.  "Give me the cat-girl.  The real one, I mean."

Ryoko grinned back at her, in her own chilling Ryoko-esque way.  "Heh.  I like your style, hon.  And I must admit, I'm not real fond of my team in general, just now.  Well, no promises, mind you.  But if it does come to that?  I'll see what I can do."

Sadly for Kalia, she never learned why everyone was blue.

It's just as well, since the current writer wasn't entirely sure why everyone was blue, his own confused self.  Everything was just getting really complicated.  After all, the current writer was mostly in it for the wacky pointless bickering between beloved fictitional characters, the wacky tired parodies and cross-overs, and, above all, the wacky relentless and creepy fan service that he hadn't fully realized he was capable of writing before now.  It had taken him longer to research the current reply than it had taken to actually write it, fer cryin' out loud.

Sadly for Kalia, the current writer had decided to try to do something about things being really complicated-- beginning with her.

Actually, what happened was, with her deep and relentless psychic probing of the tortured Ishiel's blocked memory, Kalia had finally triggered a horrific fusion with Ishiel.

But even that was more complicated than expected, much to the annoyance of the current writer.  There was... Something Else... at work.  Something Else had not exactly triggered the horrific fusion, but It had facilitated it, bringing it on before Kalia actually found what she was instinctively looking for.  And the big-I "It" (the Something Else) was more than happy to take advantage of the small-i "it" (the horrific fusion).

The relentless probing of the tortured Ishiel's mind was replaced by an even more torturous, but mercifully brief, maelstrom of psychic energies.  Improbably, the maelstrom tore Ishiel's mind apart, threw Something Else into the mix, and then went and put it all right back together.  It was as if two jigsaw puzzles had been torn apart, thrown together in a box and shaken up together, and the two puzzle had re-assembled themselves in the box-- even though the box should have been way too small to contain a single fully-assembled jigsaw puzzle, let alone a double-sized one.

And let's not even go into what happened to Kalia and Ishiel's bodies.  As it turned out, it wasn't even the slightest bit ecchi.  It was more... icky.

Anyway, Kalia and Ishiel became a single fused being with the power to defeat the guardian Al Zahad, and awaken the ancient creator of Kalia and genetic template of Ishiel.  Well, sort of.  Well, not really.  It's just really complicated.

{Ishiel.  Wake up, child.  Wake up.  Ishiel!}

Ishiel blinked, then slowly sat up and rubbed her poor head.  She had no idea where she was-- she had never been to the Trigger of Destruction's trans-dimensional oasis before.

{Ishiel.  Are you alright?}

Ishiel responded in the negative, in an indirect way, by screaming wordlessly in mortal terror.

{ISHIEL!!  Calm yourself!  You are safe and sound!}

"No I'm not!!" Ishiel screamed out loud to nobody.  "Kalia locked down my lamp, and beat the snot out of me, and drug me to who knows where, and raped my mind and my soul, and probably my body too, the little pervert, and now I don't know where, or who, or what I am, and I'm hearing voices in my head now, oh crap oh crap OH CRAP!!--"

Ishiel abruptly turned her head to one side, as if she had been slapped.  Then she let out a gasped sob, and began to cry.

{Forgive me, child.  You were hysterical.}

"I still am, in case you hadn't noticed," Ishiel sobbed.  "Hysterical, and crazy as a bowl of wet Mice Wearing Hats."

{I don't think you're crazy,} the voice said kindly.  {Your spirit is too strong.  Perhaps a lesser woman would have broken, after all that you've been through, but you are too strong.}

"Pardon me if I'm not reassured by that," Ishiel wailed, "when it's coming from THE FREAKIN' VOICE IN MY HEAD!!"

The voice realized that Ishiel needed some time by herself.  It couldn't give her that, since it was trapped in her head now.  But it remained silent until Ishiel cried herself out.

{I am sorry, Ishiel,} it said, at last.  {I would have chosen a true death for myself, rather than distress you like this, if it had been in my power to do so.  But we are stuck with each other for the time being, so why don't we try to make the best of it.}

"'Kay," Ishiel sniffed, in a little girl's voice.  "I think psychotic people usually give names to the voices in their heads.  So, what should I call you, mister?"

The voice chuckled softly.  {I'm not sure.  I'm not sure where, or who, or what *I* am, either.  Well, actually, I thought I was dead.  But, in life, I was known as Yuba Yurius.}

"Yuba..." said Ishiel.  "That's a nice name.  Did I know you before you died?"

{No, child...  But I have an idea.  Close your eyes, and try to think of me.}

Ishiel sniffled, but closed her eyes, and concentrated.  A face quickly appeared in her troubled mind's eye.  It was the face of a kindly old man, with a long full beard, warm and intelligent eyes, and really bad hair.  Seeing Yuba's smiling face, Ishiel suddenly felt reassured.  It was like she was being looked after by an eccentric but trusted and beloved uncle.

Ishiel opened her eyes, and smiled shakily.  "Nice to meet you, Yuba.  Are you my only split personality, or did someone else show up?"

{No, no} Yuba said.  {I am alone.  And your mind is still your own, Ishiel.  I saw to that when Kalia fused with you--}

"Kuh-- KALIA!?  She FUSED with me!?  OH GOD!!"

{Ssshh.  Do not worry, Ishiel.  Your mind is still your own.  I prevented Kalia from merging her mind with yours.  Kalia's hateful spirit is gone.  And your bodies fused, in a really complicated and frankly icky way, but you have not changed in appearance.  However, you now carry a combined spiritual-genetic pattern.  It is ironic, in a way.  Kalia was trying to download information from you, but she ended up completely downloaded into you.}

"Suh-- so where did you come from?"

{This fusion was meant to happen, Ishiel.  Someone... designed it.  But they did not allow for Kalia's own death, nor her deus ex machina resurrection via my own remains.  Her nanites consumed my dead body, and resurrected her... but during the fusion, my consciousness was somehow asserted after her nanites downloaded themselves into your genetic pattern.}

"Nuh-- nanites?" Ishiel asked.  "Duh-- does that mean I'm a demon god, now?  Oh GOD, am I going to turn into a Kalia!?"

{No, no.  Her nanites destroyed themselves with their download.  There is only you, and I, and my ability.}

"Uh, Yuba?" asked Ishiel.  "Assuming you are a disembodied entity, and not a symptom of profound psychosis?  How do I know that I can trust you?"

Ishiel sensed that Yuba was smiling upon her.  {Come now, child,} he said.  {If I truly meant you harm, would I do something like this?}

Ishiel suddenly felt dozens of fingers on her, in the same way that she had felt the slap to her face.  The fingers were on her ribs, under her arms, behind her ears-- but they did not touch her in any inappropriate places.  It was as if she were a child being tickled by her favorite uncle.

"GAH!!" Ishiel said, dancing in place.  "Hee hee!  Okay!  Hee hee!  I give!  Hee hee!  UNCLE!!"

{It is good to hear you laugh, Ishiel.  It seems as if it has been too long since you laughed like a child.}

"Just give a girl some warning, next time!" Ishiel gasped.  "So... what do we do now?"

{Ishiel, my child?  Do you know if... the Ifurita that was here... do you know if she still exists?}

"Yes...  Oh crap.  I defeated her in combat, Yuba.  I beat the stuffin' out of her.  I'm so sorry.  But she survived.  Uh, I think she and another Ifurita went off together...  I'm sorry, but that's all that I know."

{Dear Ishiel.  I know you now.  You would not do such a thing.  It must have been beyond your control...

{This Ifurita was... my love, in life.  I would desire nothing more than to be with her again, and be with her forever.  Since I now exist in this psychic form, perhaps I can be transferred from your mind to hers, and leave you in peace.  Let us try to find her, Ishiel, and try to do this thing, if she is willing and it is possible.

{And you must also try to find out why you were deigned to merge with Kalia.  If there is some greater purpose for this, you must ascertain it, to ensure there is no further danger to you... or to all of El-Hazard.

{But first...}

Ishiel looked away, as if Yuba had pointed out something to her.  She saw what looked like a partly-assembled pile of junk, with smaller piles of junk lying all around it, a few hundred meters away.

{That is Kalia's handiwork.  Let us use my ability to destroy what Kalia has created.}

Ishiel walked towards Kalia's partly-assembled Dimensional Phase-O-Matic.  "Your ability?" she asked.

{I have the ability to link with the ancient technology of El-Hazard.  Kalia used my ability, so you should be able to use it too.}

"Just like Mizuhara..." said Kalia, mostly to herself, as much as possible.  "Heh.  Small multi-verse.  Okay, what do I do?"

{Lay your hand there.  And concentrate...  NO!!  WHAT IS THIS!?}

Ishiel pulled her hand away, and stumbled back.  The partly-assembled Dimensional Phase-O-Matic slowly rose into the air, pulling more bits of junk through the air towards it, in a Trigger of Destruction kind of way.

{Damn.  Apparently, this Dimensional Phase-O-Matic is activated by attempting to destroy it.  Some of those psychotic pseudo-demon gods weren't half tricky biatches.}

"GAH!!" Ishiel said again, in a much less happy fun tickled kind of way.  "I thought the current writer was complaining that things were really complicated!!  THIS ain't gonna help with THAT!!"

{Mmm.  No, he isn't very good at streamlining a dramatic narrative, is he?}
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« Reply #36 on: December 24, 2003, 04:30:49 am »


Kauru tore her eyes away from the small rod she was holding and calmly regarded the half of an axe blade that had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. It looked like it was floating just above head height.


The axe blade swung downward, seeming to rip a hole reality itself. A familiar whiskey-haired girl stepped out of it.

"Kauru, boy am I glad to see you!"

Kauru's eyes widened. She was still not used to people cutting holes in the air. "Nanami-san... but what happened? You are-"

"Yeah yeah, I'm human again, don't rub it in. Look, I need help, and, no offence, you're not going to cut the mustard. Where's Ishiel? We need that lamp of -" Nanami finally noticed Parnasse, passed out on front of her. "What happened?"

"Phantom Tribe! Kauru wash them away!" explained Ura, happy to get another line of dialogue.

"Really? Wish I'd been here. I'd have given them such a-" Nanami shook her head fiercely. "Never mind. What's important is I need Ishiel. Where is she?"

Kauru got a distant look in her eyes. "Gone," she explained, "taken by an evil demon god."

"Kalia!" hissed Ura.

Nanami groaned. "Un. Be. Lievable. Okay, I'm going to try and find-" she stopped mid-sentence as Kauru touched her shoulder. For some reason the contact made her very uncomfortable. It was ridiculous, the two of them had bathed together... but that was what she felt. She looked at Kauru again, noticing that the priestess looked a little paler than usual. "Um... you okay Kauru?"

Kauru looked down again at the rod she was holding. There was something very strange about her movements, like she was moving underwater. "Fine. But I think I know someone that can help us."

"Yeah?" Nanami frowned. There was definitely something not right here, but they needed all the help they could get. "Yeah, all right. I'm still not very good with thi-" and again she was cut off, as Kauru took hold of the axe and pulled it from Nanami's surprised fingers. "Whoah. Careful with that thing. I don't think you'll be able to-


Nanami stared at the axe, which was once again embedded in thin air. "Okay, but it's kind of tricky to-"


"Whoah," said Parnasse, finally waking up and staring at the glowing hole Kauru had cut.

Nanami frowned. It wasn't logical of her, but she was getting pissed. The axe was hers, dang it, not this ditzy bug-headed priestesses'! "Yeah, well, points for getting it to work, but it's not that easy. It takes a lot of practice to get it to bring you where you want."

Kauru looked through the hole. "I think this is the place," she said, "come on."

Nanami glared at Kauru's head, silently wishing a giant arm would come through the portal and flatten the blue-haired bint. Why did she have to be so good at everything? Why did she have to assume that everything -the position of priestess, Makoto's heart, the axe- was better off in her hands?

Kauru went through the hole, followed by Nanami, Ura, and a confused Parnasse.


Dall moved with a slightly accelerated pace through his flagship, taking the scenic route in order to show his guest the fabulous curtains and vases that he had brought with him on this journey. If you're going to conquer a world, why not do it surrounded by sumptuous elegence? A nobody in a suit followed them.

"Is my escape ship operational?" asked Dall, beaming at Jinnai. "My luxurious, expensive, long and powerful escape ship?"

"Yes sire," reported the underling as Jinnai turned an even whiter shade than usual, "only the war cruisers seem to have been incapacitated. Yume's labship and your vessel have different designs, and are still functional."

"Excellent! We will dine as we make our escape. Very classy, don't you think, my dear?

"Yes... erm... very classy," managed Jinnai, "but no teas or soups or anything. I-" Jinnai thought fast "-I have... a phobia of hot liquids!"

Dall sighed dreamily. "How marvelously eccentric. Vassal-"

"Yes my liege?"

"Have the two Ifurita's fly outside my ship for protection. And don't let Yume call them away again, that's very irritating."

"Yes my liege. Will you be wanting a crew?"

The Emperor smiled in what he no doubt thought was a charming way, despite the fact that no woman, not even the ones paid to like him, had ever done anything but wince upon seeing it. "No," he said, "I'm sure the lady and I can handle it ourselves. And privacy is preferable, in matters of the heart, hmmmm?"

Jinnai's heart was beating very fast.


Nanami snorted. "See? It's tricky finding the right place. I'll just cut us another hole, and we can-"

"This is the place."

Nanami's jaw dropped and she almost choked. Partly out of surprise, partly out of the noxious fumes.

They were, after all, almost on the edge of a volcano. An active one from the look of it. Parnasse and Ura looked like they were seconds away from passing out, and Nanami was sweating like her brother doing push ups. "Say what?"

"Excuse me Nanami. This may take a while," Kauru whispered, handing back the axe. Nanami tilted her head in confusion. Okay, obviously Kauru had finally lost it. The bugs. That was it. She was having a nervous breakdown. Or suffering heat stroke. Damne it was hot. She grabbed Kauru by the shoulder as the Priestess began walking toward the rim. "Whoah. Stop it right there Kauru. Listen to your friend Nanami. We need you to have a good lie down and talk this over. There's no way LEGGO!" Kauru had grabbed Nanami's hand and was squeezing with surprising strength. Parnasse and Ura moved to try and grab Kauru, but she moved faster, pulling the ancient rod from where she had stashed it, pointing it at her friends. There was a bright flash and they both hit the ground, stunned. Kauru turned her attention back to Nanami, glaring hard at her. She moved fluidly, using some martial art Nanami had never seen before... and then the former demon goddess was on her bum, still open mouthed in amazement.

Her mouth opened even wider as Kauru turned around, took six long strides, and jumped into the lava.


"And you're the leader of the Bugrom army?" crooned Dall, in the most syrupy voice humanly possible. Jinnai's mind raced. Having the leader of the Bugroom in his hands would give the advantage to Dall.

"No, the extremely talented and handsome Lord God Jinnai Katsushiko is the leader of the Bugrom forces. I'm just... Fred... the... ranking military commander. Yes." She looked around. She was on Dall's escape pod, and she had to admit, it was almost worthy of her presence. There were chairs so comfortable it was probably criminial, bookcases crammed with very impressive looking unread books, antique furnature everywhere, and what looked like a well stocked bar. She could smell the food on the dining table - if the smell was any indication, the food was worth killing over.

A grin spread across her face. In matters military Jinnai was superb. But in matters of politics, provided that Mizuhara was not around to sabotage things, "superb" didn't begin to describe it. Jinnai grinned wider. "Before we eat... whiskey?" she asked.

"Erm... this early in the day," started Dall, but, upon seeing the cute frown on Jinnai's face, he changed his mind. "Well don't mind if I do. Oh, no, that type of glass isn't for whi-"

GLUP poured the whiskey.

"Oh. Uh. Thank you! That's," began Dall.

GLUP poured the whiskey.

"That's... that's fine, I," continued Dall.

GLUP poured the whiskey.

"oh that's... erm... oh my," continued Dall.

GLUP poured the whiskey.

"uh. Thanks."

Dall stared at the glass of whiskey he had just been handed. It was a massive wine goblet. It was almost as big as his head. He smiled nervously.

"Now then, as I was saying," Jinnai purred, "I'm the ranking military commander of the Bugrom Forces. It's a good thing that your demon god found me, I was just about to try and contact you."

"Really? How nice... And may I add you are the most strikingly beautiful ranking military commander I have ever-"

"I wasn't finished."

"Oh. Sorry," apologized Dall. Jinnai was staring at the whiskey. Smiling weakly, Dall began to drink.

"I'd like to negotiate our surrender."

Dall choked on his drink, accidentally gulping down far more than he had intended. And it went down wrong, meaning he had to drink more just to get his mouth working right. The Creterian fleep was stuck hanging in the air, and the Bugrom were asking to surrender? He had still hoped to win, but not without a long and bloody fight. Truly this woman was a goddess!

"Something wrong, your majesty?" grinned Jinnai.

"Um. No. I just, uh... drink went down the wrong pipe." Dall tried to smile in a charming manner, but it really looked sickly. "So... you want to surrender?"

"Oh yes. As soon as possible. Too much damage to the city already."

"Certainly, certainly," agreed Dall. He was feeling quite light headed. It was her beauty, he decided. "I'll have one of my men write out the terms..."

"Oh no, I'd much prefer if you did it. The personal touch?"

How could he resist that smile?


She could see three eyes. Two where they should be, one where she imagined a person's forehead should be. Frankly she was surprised she could see at all under all this molten rock. Logically she should have zero visibility.

Of course, logically she should be dead. Even Ifurita couldn't survive a split second in these conditions. The temperature had to be well over 2000 degrees.

My master. The voice was surprisingly familiar. It is my supreme honor to protect you. I am your loyal and humble servant, Ibn Al Zahad. It is my privilege to serve you.

Serve me... thought Kauru. Yes. That's right. I understand now. I understand what all of this has been about. I'm going to stop all the fighting. I'm going to make the world right. But how will I do that? I don't want to fight my friends-

But you must.

But I must. Yes. You're right. I may have to fight... but it's for peace. I will stop all the fighting for good.

Yes my master. That is what you were programmed for, just as I was programmed to bring about your desires. One world. One rule. That is right. That is just.

So... what now?

Now? Now we wait. We wait for the right time. Kauru felt strong hands around her as the voice continued. And then the world will be yours.


Jinnai looked over the terms. "We, the below signed, do surrender in the face of the might of a superior force, agreeing to give up all our territories in return for political asylum and figurehead rulership, with moderate ruling privelages..." Jinnai flipped through the pages one by one, using her most honeyed voice. Dall was leaning heavily on the table, dots begining to appear before his eyes. "Oh dear," said Jinnai.

"Hmmmm?" replied Dall. He was feeling quite warm. The empty glass rolled out of his hands. Jinnai caught it just in time, putting it aside.

"I just noticed, " lied Jinnai, "your ships aren't moving."

"Nope. Schtuck. Schtuck inth' air. No thingies. Gon'. Can' move."

"But the Bugrom have such big guns!"

"Yesh." Dall nodded. "Sitting ducks. G'd thing about yer surrender."

"I agree. It really is a pity."

"Hmmmm?" replied Dall. He was feeling quite wrong. He also had the nagging suspicion something was... not right. But what could it be? He was with the most beautiful woman in the world, and he was the most beautiful man in the world, and she obviously loved him. Everything was perfect.

"Yes, it's a real pity we won't be able to tell my people in time to save yours."

"Wha? Wait... Wha?"

"Well, it's just that it would take so long for my people to process a surrender. I'd have to get it to them, and make sure everyone knew, and then they'd stop firing the cannons. But I don't think your ships would survive that long. It could take weeks. Bureaucracy."


"Do you think your ships could survive weeks of those cannons?"

"Wull... no. I mean... wait, wha?"

Jinnai leaned in close, grabbing Dall's shirt collar. "Wait. I have a brilliant idea." Sharks would have been scared by that smile. "Do you trust me?"

"N... Wh... Uh... 'es?"

"Do you?"

"Yes! Yes! Trus' you!"

"Your people are in great peril."


"Yes! Great peril! But you will save them, because you are such a great leader!"

"I am?"

"Yes! All you have to do is sign this paper, saying you surrender. I can get my people to stop shooting you much faster if you do that. Then, once everything's sorted out, I let them know that it was really us that surrendered, and you that won."

"Oh. Thas' smart." Dall blinked muzzily. "Wait, no, that makes no sense."

"Of course not! It's realpolitik! But you know all about that, because you're such a brilliant strategist. A leader!"

"I do? I am?"

"Such a brilliant..." Jinnai took a deep breath and forged onward, "and handsome leader! And if you don't everyone will die." She grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him close, so their foreheads were pressed together. Dall's eyes were wide, and he found himself looking at her chest. "Everyone will die! Everyone! But we can still save them, if we do our part."


"Listen. I'm willing to give up the glory of being the one to usher my people into the glory of the great Creterian Empire. But I need you to send the command to your ships to surrender. You can do that from here, right?"

"Oh. Yes. But..."

"And when you do it, I want you to think of all the grateful people you will save. Think of the children. Think of the puppies. Think of the women that will become part of your empire. Have you ever seen the princesses of Floristica? They're gorgeous!"


"Yes, so I want you to remember that you're doing it for them. Send out your surrender order, so they can become part of your empire!"

Something still felt wrong. "Bu..."

Jinnai leaned in close, whispering softly in Dall's ear. "Just think how grateful everyone will be, knowing you saved them all from this terrible, pointless war. You'll be a hero!"


"A great hero!"

"Always wannen to be hero..."

"And you are!" Jinnai continued, leading Dall over to the computer console. "So, why don't you send that order."

"Mmmm... granparens didn' wan' war anyway."


"Dall the firsht and Gli.. Giln... G... Grammie. Kept trying to talk me out of it. I said 'luk, yer the one that abdicated the shthrone early, an m'bum of a father's mishing, so I gets to make the deshisions roun' here'."

"And I'm sure you'll make the right decision now, and send. The. Order."

Dall looked at the console, the world swimming on front of his face. He looked at Jinnai. She beamed at him. Okay, if a woman was smiling at him, things had to be going right. Right? He pressed his palm to the appropriate controls. The palm scan began. "Order to all shhhhips. Shurrender now. Order of Emperor Dall the third. Code... 'Maids Uniforms Are Cute'."

"Eeeeexcellent," smiled Jinnai, watching as the Creterian demon gods in the distance seemed to stop their attacks. She slid into the pilot's seat and began to pilot the little ship back toward the palace, where she could make the necessary arrangements. She started looking around for speaker controls. "While I'm doing this, why don't you sign that paper?"

"Mmmmm?" Dall looked down on the piece of paper. There was a word. Name. That was the word. And next that word was a long line. Oh. He knew what to do with these! His ministers gave him these all the time. With a silly grin he signed.


And that was how Creteria became part of the great Bugrom Empire.


Yume looked at the command coming in. "Message from Dall? What could he wan... 'the hell?"

Elsewhere on the battlefield, Ryoko heard the new orders.


Fortunately, as had been mentioned before, part of the Eye of God had been used in the machine's construction, and thus it required one of the Princesses in order to function correctly.

Unfortunately, there was a large number of strange flying machines pouring out of the top of the doomsday device, speeding toward Florestica.

Fortunately, they were all sporting smiley faces, meaning that they had probably been redesgined by Skuld, and their attacks were thus most likely nonlethal.

Unfortunately, they were all sporting smiley faces, meaning that they had been probably been redesigned by Skuld, and were thus most likely exceptionally good at their jobs.

Fortunately, another string of "unfortunately" and "fortunately" had come to an end.

"Huh," said Kalia/Yuba/Ishiel, "that can't be good."
« Last Edit: December 24, 2003, 04:11:08 pm by d.t. » Logged

"You're going to dump me, your childhood friend, for a little chippie with a precocious set of melons?!" -Nanami
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« Reply #37 on: December 24, 2003, 04:38:55 pm »

News of the end of hostilities swept across the battle-weary lands of Roshtaria, the beleaguered Creterian cruisers, and the rest of El-Hazard.

As the citizens of both Creteria and El-Hazard heard the news, they did what 98% of the people do whenever a war ends.

They cheered.  They whooped and hollered.  They danced in the streets.  They shook their enemies' hands, and slapped their enemies' backs.  They broke open bottles of wine, and toasted the other side's bravery.  They grabbed the nearest available person of the desired gender and orientation, and kissed 'em like it was goin' out of style.  They made love, not war.

Very generally and loosely speaking, 98% of the people have more common sense than their respective governments.

Sadly, Ryoko was in the other two percent.

Actually, Ryoko had a lot more sense than most people gave her credit for.  In another life, she would have been dancing, drinking, and makin' out with the best of them.  But, in this life, she was well and firmly in the two percent that weren't celebrating.

"ack," said Ryoko.

A copy of Creteria's unconditional surrender, bearing Dall-3's sloppy signature, was crumpled in her clenched hand.

"eep," said Ryoko.

The battlefield messenger who had brought the news to her had wisely left her side very very quickly.

"arg," said Ryoko.

It would be another minute or two before she would be able to form complete words again.  But she decided on a course of action that, happily, didn't require much eloquence in the early stages.

"gah," said Ryoko, as her feet left the ground, and as she rocketed towards Dall-3's fleeing escape ship, forgetting in her anger that she could have just phased there, or even turned back and taken a cruiser.

"ngh," said Ryoko, as she worked out her course of action backwards.

Thirdly, she was gonna find out, once and for all, how that Jinnai character gave her the slip.

Secondly, she obviously hadn't been spending enough time with her Dallsy-Wallsy.  Well, that was about to change.  If she had semi-regularly sneaked up on Dall-3 and scared the crap out of him before, well, heh heh, just wait until he got a load of her now.  He was gonna learn just exactly how scary a scorned and slightly unbalanced demon god could be, her faulty but still functioning obedience circuits be damned.

But firstly, she was gonna find the enemy agent sexpot who had manipulated Ryoko into taking her directly to Dall-3.  Ryoko didn't like being manipulated by enemy agent sexpots.  She already had Yume to manipulate her, thank you very much.  And Ryoko intended to demonstrate her displeasure with the sexpot in a way described by the very first full word she managed to spit out since she had heard the news.

"KILL!!" said Ryoko.

Ifurina (and Staff-chan, er, Over-Run) had graciously offered to give Fujisawa a lift back to his wife and child, at their rural hideaway, now that the terrible pointless war was over.  But, as they flew through the skies over Roshtaria, they saw something coming at them from over the horizon.

Fujisawa narrowed his eyes.  "What the heck is that?  It seems to be coming from desert-Ifurita's oasis."

Over-Run chimed in.  "Danger, Miss Ifurina, Danger!  Long-range sensors indicate that it was recycled from hideously evil bits of doomsday weapon technology!!"

Ifurina narrowed her own newly super-human eyes, and giggled.  "Don't be silly, Staff-chan!  Why, it's a bunch of big happy faces!"

She would have clapped her hands with delight, if they weren't full of Fujisawa.  "OH!  I bet this is gonna be even better than Mr. Dancing Robot!"

"Oh dear God no please no," said Fujisawa and Over-Run in perfect unison.

Shayla slowly trudged up the side of Crayna's volcano, sweating like someone trudging up the side of a volcano.  She was carrying a large rubber mallet in one hand, and a large hand-painted sign under her other arm.

As per Crayna's instructions, Shayla was about ta to do somethin' about th' damn volcano, fer crapssakes.

Shayla came to a smooth flat area near the peak of the fiery mountain.  Yeah, she thought, this'll work.  They can't miss it if I put it here.

Shayla set her sign's post against a crack in the rough volcanic rock, raised her mallet, and set the sign in place.  She stood back, mopping her brow with a handkerchief (she could feel the heat of the lava even from here), and inspected her handiwork.  Her sign read:


If that don't stop 'em, Shayla thought, nothin' will.

Crayna raised a spyglass, set it against her window, and watched her chosen protege, the best and brightest of the seminary of fire, the current high and mighty Great Priestess Of Fire, Shayla Shayla, do somethin' about th' damn volcano, fer crapssakes.

After a moment, Crayna lowered her spyglass, set it down, rubbed her temples and groaned.  I shoulda left her varnished to the floor, she thought.

Shayla turned to leave.  But, from the corner of her eye, she spotted movement above her, practically at the rim of the volcano.

Aw nuts, she thought.  I shoulda put the sign up earlier.

Shayla trudged the rest of the way up the volcano, sweating profusely.  She found Nanami, Parnasse and Ura, kneeling at the very edge of a pool of white hot lava, all drenched with sweat, but clinging to each other as they all bawled their eyes out.

"If yer all so unhappy 'bout the damn heat," Shayla suggested helpfully, "why dontcha move away from the damn lava!?"

Parnasse turned to her, in manly tears.  "Muh-- Miss Kauru...  Shuh-- she jumped into thuh-- thuh-- Oh, she killed herself!!  WHAAH!!"

"Well, hot damn," Shayla noted accurately.  "Guess the little drip finally lost it, huh?"

"SHAYLA!!" shouted Nanami, sobbing pitifully.  "How COULD you!?  How can you TALK about your FRIEND like THAT, at a TIME like THIS!?"

Shayla rolled her eyes and sighed.  "Aw, c'mon.  You all gotta admit, she never was the brightest lamp in the seminary."

Even Ura wept for the death of the Girl That Smelled Nice.  "Shayla mean!  Shayla bad!" it cried.

Shayla hung her head.  "Oh, gimme a break.  It's painfully obvious that I'm simply in an momentary state of denial, unable to accept the terrible emotional pain of this tragedy.  But it oughta hit me any second now OH GOD KAURU KILLED HERSELF WHAAAH!!"

She fell to her knees as she began to rend her garments and gnash her teeth.  "IF ONLY I'D PUT THE SIGN UP EARLIER!!"

Hishima had just gotten out of traction.  He had not yet donned his full outer garments when he returned to Yume's side.  His broad muscular frame was slightly malformed, when compared to a male human of comparable build, but he didn't startle Yume.  She was used to him, and she was happy to see her little man back on his feet.

Hishima found his beloved master standing at a cruiser window, looking down on the street celebrations with a sad smile.

"Master Yume?" asked Hishima.  "Have I missed the Ultimate Battle?"

"Not exactly," Yume said.  She handed him another copy of Dall's surrender.

Hishima read the paper with superhuman speed, then dropped it, staring forwards blankly in shock.  "Jumpin' Jehosaphat on a pogo stick," he said to himself.

Yume turned back to the window.  "Just look at them, Hishima," she said quietly.  "The fools, celebrating like there's no tomorrow.  They don't know how right they are."

Hishima gulped.  "Do you mean, some malfunctioning hideous dimension destroying device has just been activated?"

"Of course not," Yume said with a sad chuckle.  "Don't be silly, Hishima.  As if something like that was about to happen...

"No no, dear.  Whoever it was that engineered our surrender was a tactical military genius, and a political super-genius.  But an economic expert?  Not so much.

"I've just done some research on this sad little world, the one that now ownz us.  The current ruling world-wide government, that's the Bugrom Empire, negotiated their occupation of the rest of what was the Alliance.  Actually, the rest of the Alliance folded like a tent.  But it took lots of gratuitous property destruction to conquer Roshtaria.

"Apparently, there's also been two or three unrelated world-threatening events, just in the past few weeks, and they wreaked havoc a-plenty before they were put down.  As far as I know, no one's stepped forwards and volunteered to pay for putting them down, so the Bugrom Empire will have to eat those costs too.

"So, the Bugrom Empire is rebuilding Roshtaria, encountering massive unanticipated expenses, and providing basic services for half a freakin' continent, and they're paying for it all out of their own pockets.  They just rebuilt the entire city of Floristica, the biggest city on the planet, from the ground up, at jaw-dropping expense, before we showed up and knocked most of Floristica back down again.

"At the same time, in an effort to curry favor with the populations they conquered, they've cut taxes drastically.  Taxes were almost certainly too high to start with-- that's a safe bet.  But you need a solid revenue stream to run even a small and efficient free peace-time government, let alone an undemocratic and secretive functional dictatorship floundering about in the fog of war.

"Still, they might have just scraped by, with massive deficit spending and creative accounting... before our failed yet mind-numbingly expensive invasion.

"But now, in order to continue their world-wide occupation?  By my conservative estimate, they'd have to raise the tax rate on the middle and lower classes by approximately one hundred forty-two thousand eight hundred fifty seven percent.  And since that wouldn't go over very well with the punters... well, kiddo, we're looking at total economic, political and social collapse.  Sometime around next Tuesday, I should think.

"Even worse, the Creterian fleet is now occupied territory, with no natural resources, no real distribution systems, and no way out of this mess.  Without our cruisers' stablilizers, we're stuck here.  If we had won, quick and clean, like we were supposed to, Dall's personal fortune (which is now worthless paper) would have covered us, and then some.  But now, we're all gonna get flushed down the toilet."

Yume hung her head and sighed, then looked up at Hishima with another sad smile, and a little cold shiver.  "We had better stock up on canned soup and instant noodles, Hishima.  It's going to be a long hard winter.  I've still got a lot of problems to deal with, and I'd prefer not to deal with them cold and hungry.

"And I just hope there isn't some other unknown empire, lying in wait, primed to conquer us all.  Pardon my ancient Frencharian, but we'd be completely and utterly screwed."

"ATCHOO!!" sneezed Millie and Gan-chan.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2003, 05:35:53 pm by mrwhat » Logged
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« Reply #38 on: December 24, 2003, 05:41:23 pm »

Yume was busy and only mildly surprised when The Other spoke again.

"Yume, there there has been an unexpected unexpected-"

"Change in plans?  _Way_ ahead of you, oh ally of mine.  Since my sensors haven't detected any off-the-scale energy readings, it's obvious that Ishiel and Kalia's fusion hasn't gone...according to plan, probably because of interference from the third genetic pattern Kalia used to ressurrect herself.  I'm already taking steps to correct the deviation," Yume explained, typing away with lightning speed at her holographic computer console.

"You knew knew all this and didn't tell me me?"

Yume shrugged.  "I assumed that the seemingly omniscient voice in my head truly was omniscient.  Now I know better," she said with a smirk, tapping the last key with a flourish.

Genetic doubling of Fatora's DNA successful.  Access to Creterian Eye of God granted.  Awaiting orders.

"You've got to hand it to the Creterians.  When they build an exact duplicate they go all the way, even including the original genetic authorization structure," Yume commented, almost condescendingly, as she began to input new commands.  "Fortunately, this all works out for the best."

Orders accepted.  Initializing instantaneous teleportation of targets...now.

"There, that should take care of the latest and severely compromised Trigger of Destruction or whatever it's called," Yume declared triumphantly, spinning her chair around to face open space.  "Of course, it was extremely fortuitous that I was able to scan Kalia earlier when she attacked our ships and that I bothered to download the memory banks of the captured Ifurita units.  Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to identify the presence of Yuba Yurius and develop this tidy solution.  However, due to the butterfly effect, this one tiny alteration could drastically modify the planned-for sequence of events.  Knowing what, exactly, the Palace of Infinity is could be very...helpful in ensuring that the timeline proceeds as envisioned."


"No?  Well, just remember that we both stand to lose if things go awry," Yume said pointedly, turning back to her computer and starting up a new program to pass the time until she had to act again.

"Ahahahaha!  I am the Tetris master!"

The Other sweatdropped.


One moment Ifurita, Makoto, and Yuba's Ifurita were in Florestica.  The next they were in the Desert of Bleached White Bones and watching as smiley-faced flying machines poured out of the doomsday machine and sped towards the Roshtarian capital.

Ifurita-2, under the influence of the virus, was the first to reorient herself and promptly attacked Ifurita.  "Target acquired.  Preparing to neutralize..."

Ifurita parried the blow with her own staff but found herself pushed back.  "Makoto, you must cure her!"

However, before the young man could even take a step, Ifurita-2 glided backwards and fired at him with her key staff.  Ifurita barely managed to fly in front of her love and deflect the assault, which was followed by a mighty barrage of energy blasts all aimed directly at her.  Weakened by her fights against Hishima, Ryoko, and the virus, Ifurita was actually finding herself at a surprising disadvantage against her double.

So it was, with great relief, that she saw Ishiel spring up from behind Ifurita-2 and touch her neck.  A white glow surrounded the two, and a moment later her duplicate passed out.



From deep within her virus corrupted mind, the lifeform that was known as Ifurita twitched.  She _knew_ that voice, but it couldn't possibly be him.

{Oh my dear Ifurita, what has happened to you?...}

Could it?

Barely daring to hope, the Demon God used all of her strength to push her mind's eye open and saw the face of one dear to her heart whom she'd never expected to see again.

Yuba?!  But how?

{That doesn't matter right now, Ifurita.  All that does is that we're together again and can fix this mess.  I missed you, my dear.}


The two lovers were reunited, and her mind was filled with brilliant, cleansing light.


Crouching above the fallen Demon God, Ishiel looked up at the surprised Makoto and Ifurita.  "She'll probably be out for a little while until her systems have been entirely purified.  I'd love to explain more, but right now we should really deal with the smiley-faces of doom."

Ifurita nodded her head.  "Indeed.  There's no telling what damage these wacky, in a cute little Yggdrasil goddess kind of way, vessels will cause to Roshtaria.  I shall deal with the heart of the matter immediately."

The ancient Demon God Ifurita took to the sky and flew towards the doomsday machine, preparing to blow it to smithereens.  However, Kalia had remembered how easily an Ifurita unit had penetrated the Trigger of Destruction last time and taken steps to ensure the same thing wouldn't happen again.


A second later Ifurita was buried chest-high in the desert sand, and Makoto and Ishiel exchanged a disbelieving look.

"You didn't just see a giant mallet appear out nowhere and smack Ifurita in the back of the head, did you?" Ishiel asked incredulously.

Makoto numbly shook his head.

"Good," Ishiel said, relieved, "cause I know _I_ certainly didn't."

Shaking her head to collect herself, the Rogue Priestess of Earth came to a decision.  "Makoto, I want you to take the two Ifuritas and get as far away from here as you can.  Warn Florestica about what is approaching.  I'll deal with the doomsday machine myself."

"What?  But how are you going to-" Makoto began to say but was cut short as the sand beneath his feet shifted and assumed the shape of a wagon with the two Ifuritas and himself in the back.

"There's no time!  Just do what you can!" Ishiel shouted to him as she waved her thankfully reactivated lamp and commanded the sand vessel to head to Florestica as quickly as it possibly could.  Makoto was a speck on the horizon within seconds.


After several minutes of running through misshapen passages and blasting through walls, Ishiel finally found the control center of the doomsday machine.  Muttering a quick  prayer to the elements thanking them that she still possessed Yuba's tech touch ability, she linked to the main computer.

"Cease all operations immediately!" she ordered.

Command accepted.  Operations ceased.


Error.  Error.  Error.  Self-destruction imminent.  Beginning countdown.  5....4...1...

"One?!  What happened to three and two?!" Ishiel frantically demanded to know.

Just kidding.  3...2...


The explosion was seen from as far away as Florestica.


Ishiel, head pounding, opened her eyes and found herself in a cold hallway lined with crystal pedestals and walls that were pulsing faintly with blue energy.  She weakly staggered forward, and one of the pedestals came to life with an image of a Creterian Bugrom Queen that slowly morphed into a 3-d picture of Queen Diva.

"Experiment 321 successful.  Genetic engineering of native Bugrom has produced a more versatile, intelligent subspecies excellent for defensive and industrial purposes.  However, I fear that I may have done my job too well.  It is possible that the original species will die out in a few generations if not isolated from the new strain, and the new strain itself has displayed a higher than anticipated ability to learn and evolve.  It is conceivable that they might one day become a fully sentient race rivaling and perhaps even surpassing humans, and if this ever happens and they are still required to serve us, war between the two species will likely result as they fight for their freedom."

Another pedestal was activated by her passing, and an image of Wa Salli Alayhim appeared.

"Experiment 502.  An idea that took on a life of its own and whose neural network has become more complex than even I can understand.  To say I am pleased would be an understatement.  After so much effort and time, I have created a true artificial intelligence, something deemed impossible by those who came before me and my contemporaries.  I can only imagine what the future holds for us all now."

Another pedestal, another snippet of history.

"Experiment 614.  The new AI unit has been completed, but I am disgusted with how its going to be used.  My clients failed to inform me that they had hired the Northern Weaponers to transform _my_ creation into a humanoid weapon of mass destruction denied of any free will.  To think, they have the arrogance to enslave a mind that is sentient in every way that counts and might, dare I say it, even possess a soul.  My poor Ifurita.  All I can do for you is weep at the thought of what fate awaits you as a Demon God and erase your memories of the few brief moments of happiness we shared together.  Better to never remember being alive and free in the first place than to be a fully aware, enslaved machine of death."

"Experiment 854 - the Trigger of Destruction.  My, how the mighty have fallen, but I am sick of everything now.  Sick at the world around me, sick at how every advance in technology is used to create a new weapon of war, and sick of my own brilliance.  Why must every creation of mine develop life?  The Bugrom, as expected, have evolved a mind of their own and wage an epic struggle for freedom.  They could conquer the world easily if they had a brilliant strategist capable of communicating with them on their side.  The Demon Gods, using my AI technology, are now being mass produced and continue to be denied their right of self-determination thanks to the obedience chips invented by the Northern Weaponers.  Those merchants of death have no idea what they're messing around with and refuse to open their eyes and see the destruction they're causing.  Then again, what right do I have to judge them when it was my scientific contributions that inadvertently started this arms race and triggered the current 'Holy War'?  My hands are as bloodstained as theirs, and as the creator of this 'bomb' I should've known better than to give it to children who treat it like a mere child's ball."

"Experiment 999 - Kalia.  The Trigger of Destruction is merely a diversion, meant to hide and overshadow this, my ultimate creation.  Kalia is as far above demon gods as demon gods are above common robots.  She is more than a mere artificial intelligence; she is an artificial lifeform created from the ground up by nanites modeled after my own appearance.  I have given life to so many creations that is only fitting that my latest invention be made in my own image.  My current clients mistakenly believe that I share their desire to destroy the entire universe.  Heh.  If only they knew my _true_ objectives.  The Trigger of Destruction will, of course, be stopped, but Kalia shall live on."

"Experiment 1,000.  There is a flaw in Kalia's neural matrix that has made her insane.  Accused of heresy and declared guilty of crimes against humanity, as if _I_ am to blame for the sins the nations of this world have committed, I lack the time before my capture to correct it.  Fortunately, I have made the preparations necessary to carry out my unenviable task at a future date.  Wa Salli Alayhim, bless her soul, has agreed to carry out my last wishes and reconfigure my 'tomb' according to my specifications when she has the opportunity to do so.  I will turn my inevitable sealing to my advantage.  On another note, the plague I designed has been used against the Northern Weaponers.  Although the thought of genocide pains me, their legacy must not live on.  I may have created the means for the Holy War, but they provided the ends, and after all this senseless death and carnage their belief that they are not in any way responsible for this...massacre angers me beyond reason.  What right do they have to expect to emerge unscathed when the entire world burns around them?  Fools.  Even moreso than I who once naively believed that artificial intelligences could be used for peace.  They think that their plans for their two new demon gods, technologically more advanced than my Kalia but lacking her versatility and sheer originality, are a secret.  Heh.  How little they truly know.  Well, I too have left a legacy for the future, and there will come a day of reckoning between us.  Perhaps then, this terrible war will at last end."

Ishiel came to the end of the passageway, and a door irised open.  The young woman entered a chamber where a starkly beautiful woman who bore a remarkable resemblance to her was lying suspended in a translucent liquid cell.  Ancient runes of warning and danger surrounded the room.

Ah, you have come at last, dearest Ishiel.

Headache exacerbated by the new voice in her head, Ishiel glared at the sleeping woman before her.  "Who are you?!"

The one responsible for the Holy War of the Ancients and the one who shall now end it.  The Northern Weaponer's legacy has already begun to awaken, and it is time for mine to do the same.

"You...you're the one who created Kalia, right?" Ishiel struggled to ask, finding it surprisingly difficult to think.

May her tormented soul rest in peace, yes.  Perhaps this is for the best, though.  Although unrealized, your combined power is as great as I anticipated with a much stronger mind to wield it.

"But...but Yuba said the nanites were...were destroyed," Ishiel muttered, fighting the urge to sleep.

He was mistaken.  Instead of assimilating you, you assimilated the nanites, a feat made possible because they were modeled after my own DNA which, as your genetic template, you share.

"But...my...my mother and father...were..."

False memories implanted by the Phantom Tribe, another victim of the war, who created you.  I am your true mother, Ishiel.

"No!  That...that can't be true!"

Search your feelings, Ishiel.  You know it is.  Now, free me, and together we can end this war as mother and daughter.  Together, we are a match for Jinnistacia, Ibn Al Zahad, and the Northern Weaponer's legacy of sin, murder, and conquest.  We can break this vicious cycle of death and destruction once and for all and finally free this world from its troubled past.  All you have to do is awaken me.

"But...at what cost?  Two wrongs...do not make a right.  I won't...help you if it means...more death."

...I am proud of you, Ishiel.  You are everything I could ever have hoped for in a daughter.  I only pray that when all of this is over you will still hold true to your beliefs and can find some happiness.  Unfortunately, you don't have a choice in the matter.  In the end, I have become no better than those I hated.  Now, obey and free me as you were created to do!

Ishiel's eyes glazed over and ever so slowly she approached the cell and pressed her hand against the surface, linking with it.  Her mother's eyes opened for the first time in millennia.

...My daughter, for what it's worth, I am sorry.
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« Reply #39 on: December 25, 2003, 01:36:26 am »

As one they looked up at the sky, at the blinding vision, invoking their gods and ancestors, cried out in terror as the terrible grey day began. It fell like the ash on pompei, and though it blew like snow in the wind it felt more heavy than the world itself, and it kept coming in awful, nightmarish curling clouds, falling from on high, eclipsing the sun, blotting out all ight. And they ran, stampeded, tripping over one another, crying, weeping, calling out to their loved ones, clawing at that terrifying grey that fell upon them, falling, crawling, shuddering, dying.

And then the grey was gone and the city burned, great licks of flame that painted the night sky crimson and illuminated the face of the only living thing that remained.


A girl. A simple girl.

No. I don't want this. I don't want to remember this!

She held her legs right to her chest, shivering in a simple torn yellow dress. She was cold. Frightened. Alone.

The tears came thick and fast, great swollen things that flowed, hated and unbidden, from the corners of her tightly shut eyes, burning her pupils for the moment it takes to draw in a shuddering breath, then rising, creeping out from under her eyelids, crawling down her face, pulled by the unexorable force that was gravity, collecting at the base of her chin before freeing themselves from her shameful body, falling, falling, splashing into her yellow dress, which shook as her bony frame began to hitch and heave, a mournful, frightened, animal sound emanating from her throat, humiliated without knowing why, an abrupt, pitiful, heart-wrenching cry of mourning.

"No," she whispered, "This is all wrong. I shouldn't remember this. I shouldn't feel a connection to this. I shouldn't be feeling these emotions, shouldn't be remembering these emotions, make it stop, let me out, let me out, let me-"

"It It is all right, Kalia Kalia."

And then she was no longer a child, no longer in a burning city. Now she was... nowhere. Infinite darkness in all directions, so thick she could not see her own hand. No, more than that, she couldn't feel her hand. She couldn't feel her body. Panic began to well up in her body again.

"Do Do not be disturbed disturbed. Here Here, is this better better?"

And then the void was gone, replaced by something wonderful, a childish fantasy world filled with gems, jewels, lustrious gold and silver, a sky of flowing murcury, and ground that was a ribbon of light pouring from and into forever. It was morning, and spring, and everything wonderful in the world, and the being that now stood before her could only be thought of as some sort of ancient god.

It was as tall as ten men. The robe was vaguely arabic, but futuristic as well, and the gold trim that accentuated it at points seemed to be incredibly intricate circuits. The gloves, like the rest of the garment, were as blue as the sky and sea should be. But the clothes were empty; or, rather, while they appeared to be filled out as the should be, she could see nothing there. Where one would expect a head there was instead what looked like a massive top, a magestic crown at its apex, and what looked like thousands, perhaps millions of faces on its sides. Kalia gaped in shock. "Who," she stammered, "who are you? How am I here? I felt myself-"

"Dying Dying. Yes Yes, we know know." The great figure sat down beside her. "We We have been called many names, Kalia, but we are now called The Other Other. We We saved you from your fate, from oblivion ion. To to take up a mind, to copy it, to store that conciousness, without outside forces knowing of our actions... that is within our power power."

Kalia looked around and shivered, despite the apparent warmth of her surroundings. "I'm not meant to feel this way," she whispered. "I wasn't meant to remember that, and I'm not meant to feel this way." She felt as though her heart was pounding, even though she could not feel it. She looked up at The Other. "Was that me?"

"Yes Yes. That That was your birth, Kalia Kalia."

"My... birth? I don't understand."

"Then Then watch, as The Dollmaker explains herself self."

And then they were no longer in the dream. They were in a long hallway lined with crystal pedestals and walls that were pulsing faintly with blue energy. To Kalia's surprise, the girl that looked just like her was there, unsteadily walking among the pedastals.

"Her! What's she doing here?"

"Watch Watch ."

Kalia watched and listened as the pedastal explained the creation of the first Ifurita, the only one that truly could claim the name.

"So So pretentious ious. To to build such a machine for a country at war, in a time of war, and to express shock at how it is used - what did she expect expect?"

Kalia watched and listened as the pedastal explained the creation of the Trigger of Destruction, the terrible weapon that could only be used to destroy all reality.

"Such Such haughty arrogance gance. Condemning Condemning others for building weapons while she designed the most horrible of them all all. At At times we wonder if she wasn't imprisioned for her hypocracy, as much as everything else else."

Kalia watched and listened as the pedastal explained her own creation.

"Stop Stop ."

The scene froze on front of them. "What... what does this all mean?" whispered Kalia, shaking as if she had just watched her own death. "What is happening now?"

"We We are existing as pure thought, in between the moments of reality reality. Now Now observe the first of the two crimes The Dollmaker was imprisoned for for." The Other gestured to a pedasal far in the back, which slowly flickered to life, dragged into this non-time they were existing in.

"Ex... periment 998 - The Cloud of Tears. The mass use of nanites as a weapon of war has been outlawed by all major tribes. Why? How is it any worse than any other of these weapons they have made? I am so sick of this world, so sick of the people that live in these cities, that allow their leaders to do such things, to make such things. Why shouldn't they suffer, these fools that bury their heads in the sand, blind to what they allow their leaders to do? The first tests of my nanite clouds have been successful on animals, I suspect they will work just as well on humans.

"I have already been contacted, contracted, to build another demon god. They want it more horrible than any made before. Hah. I intend to test my Cloud on an urban setting to manufacture their little war machine. It will be the finest demon god yet, built with a multiplexed conciousness, nanoassembled from the organics my Cloud encounters, her conciousness a composite of all the people used to make her, her genetic profile and appearance modeled on my own."

Kalia felt the world slipping away. "That - that was what you meant when you said I was remembering my birth. That entire city... that was... they were me once, weren't they?"

"Yes Yes ."

Kalia shuddered, not wanting to see any more. But she knew that she needed to. They fell back into real time, as Ishiel moved to the next marker.

Kalia watched and listened as the pedastal explained what was to be The Dollmaker's fate. For the first time she thought she felt something from The Other - anger, raw and red.

"Such Such unbelievable conceit conceit! She She speaks of the Northern Weaponers' demon gods with contempt, though they were only blueprints when she recorded this this." The anger rolled in waves. "Their Their ability to create an infinite variety of new techniques had not yet been developed, and she dared to assume her creations better better? She She had no idea the true horror they would one day become, but was certain of her superiority, always so smugly certain of her superiority superiority." The anger subsided. "Brilliant Brilliant though The Dollmaker was, she assumed she was the only mind in the world, even though she was only one scientist ist. There there were more scientists at that time than there were stars in the sky, and together they were her downfall fall."

Kalia looked up at the other, confused and curious. "You said there were two crimes she was imprisoned for?"

"Yes Yes ." The scene froze again. The Other gestured to another pedastal, and again it shuddered into non-time.

"Experiment 1,001. The Incandescent Vault. My time is growing short. This will likely be my final entry - I trust that it will be safely carried to my tomb with the others. My trial is almost at its end, and I know already how I will be judged. I am lucky I have supporters, willing to make sure my tomb is built to my specifications. And willing to put this, my final experiment, into action. There is only one way to stop all the violence. The Vault will simultaneously download the conciousness of every man woman and child on the planet, storing them in its vast database. We will leave this horrible world behind, and exist as thoughts and dreams.

"I am told that Salli will be deactivated following my tomb's completion. I would express hope that one day she is reawakened to live again, but I know that will not be necessary. The Vault will make sure they never have a chance to deactivate her. The Vault will make sure they never have a chance to do anything."

There was something horrible about the voice in the recording, something hinting that Kalia's insanity was inherited. The demon god considered what she had heard for a long moment, trying to make sense of it all. It was a lot to take in. "And the scientists stopped her?" she asked at last.

"Yes Yes ."

"And then what? And... and it doesn't sound that bad, existing as thought. No more fighting."

"And  And then she was sealed away in this tomb tomb.  Wa Wa Salli Alayhim was deactivated and placed in a museum, until the Holy Wars were drawing to a close and the dying Ancients reactivated her for one last tasktask.And And take our word for it - everyone existing together as pure thought would not be paradise paradise.ItIt is a tragedy for this world that she is to be reawakened, for in her supreme arrogance she will surely attempt her mad scheme againagain.

Kalia turned her gaze back to Ishiel and frowned. "I don't understand. I... I cannot betray my programming. You have taken my mind out of my body, and that has freed me of my commands - but not my desires. I still want to destroy. I have to. It is all I am."

"Yes Yes .We We know know.But But there are other ways to remain true to your nature, other ways to destroy destroy."

"I still don't understand. Why are you showing me this? I... I don't have a body any more. And I don't think I can take my old one back, its hers now. What am I meant to do with what you told me?"

"Perhaps Perhaps nothing, but we believe a new vessel may soon make itself available to your mind, child child. For For now, however, you must do as we have done for a very long time - wait wait."

It should be pointed out at this point that The Other was not good.  But then again, neither was The Dollmaker, and their wants were in conflict.
« Last Edit: December 25, 2003, 03:24:40 am by d.t. » Logged

"You're going to dump me, your childhood friend, for a little chippie with a precocious set of melons?!" -Nanami
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« Reply #40 on: December 25, 2003, 10:48:48 am »

"Heh heh heh," chuckled Jinnai as she maneuvered Dall's escape ship towards the palace. "Oh, sometimes my genius astounds even me. I have single-handedly wrestled away the reigns of the mighty Cretarian Empire from the hands of its buffoon emperor!" She looked back at the silent form of Dall III, who was passed out in a drunken stupor across one of his expensive couches. "BWAH HAH HAHAHAHA! Now I have another nation to add to my growing collection! First the Bugrom, then the Alliance, now Cretaria has fallen to my genius! I'm unstoppable! Nothing can stand in my way! BWAH HAH HAHAHAHAHA!" The deranged girl laughed at the controls, her beautiful face twisting in manic glee.

The ship suddenly lurched sideways, as if something heavy had just crashed into it. "Oh shit, what now?" asked Jinnai in an annoyed tone. She searched over the instruments, but could find nothing wrong. The fact that she couldn't read Cretarian didn't help matters.

"There ya are!" snarled a loud, angry female voice. Jinnai shrieked and turned around to see a very pissed off Demon God Ryoko storming through the open port door, dragging an unconcious Ifurita 3 with her.

"GAH! What are you doing here? How DARE you enter your Lord's prescense without permission?!" Jinnai stood up and shook her fist at Ryoko.

"Can it," The Demon God dropped If-3 onto a couch and continued towards Jinnai. She glared at the transformed Lord God, her eyes sparking dangerously with lightning. "I don't know how you weaseled a surrender outta Dall," Ryoko was silent for a moment as a thought entered her mind. She then seemed to get even angrier. "Okay, I maybe do know how you did it, you sleazy bimbo. PREPARE TO DIE!"

Jinnai flinched and backed away. "S-s-stay back! I'm warning you! H-harm me and you'll be sorry!"

"Oh I doubt that," Ryoko grinned and cracked her knuckles.

"Dall, you idiot! Help me!" cried Jinnai. She pressed herself against the controls as Ryoko stepped closer.

"Mmm... I dun care 'bout zhe mishe with hatsh, jush give em shome cheeeshe," muttered the Emperor drunkenly.

"Great, no help there." Jinnai looked up at the steadily approaching Ryoko, who was now less than three feet away. "Wait! Wait! I can give you two cities to rule! Three even! How about a kingdom, I'll give you a nice big one to- ack!"

Ryoko grabbed Jinnai by the neck and lifted her up to her face. "No deal. You stole my Dall away from me, and I'm not gonna forgive that. Any last words, hon?"

"Grk... maaaa... eck...."

"Those are pretty shitty last words," remarked Ryoko. The Demon God grinned, raising her free hand above her head. Before she could do a Karate Chop of Death, the ship was rocked to and fro by several large flying happy faces crashing into its hull.

Ryoko was thrown off her feet. Jinnai, released from her grasp, scrambled under a nearby table.

"What the hell now?" Ryoko glanced out of the front windows to see a veritable cloud of yellow, smiling faces rushing through the air and crashing into the ship. She grabbed the controls and maneuvered the escape ship out of the swarm's way, but another hit by the flying machines took out one of the stabilizing fins. There were numerous beeps of warning from the console just as the ship took a nosedive. It dropped like a brick, heading towards the ground very very quickly.

"Huh. Stabilizers are out, crash imminent." Ryoko shrugged. She turned away from the controls and walked towards the exit. She picked up the drunken Dall and the unconcious Ifurita 3 on the way.

"Hey, what's goin on?" asked Jinnai from under the table.

"Ship's about to crash," remarked Ryoko as she kicked open the port doors. The wind from outside entered the interior, whipping around all the expensive knick nacks Dall had.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Well duh, I'm escaping." The Demon God grinned at the girl under the table. "You don't think I'm gonna hang around here, do ya?"

"What about me? You're just not gonna leave me here, are you?" Jinnai crawled out from under the table, but the strong winds kept her back from the open door.

"Sure am. Sorry, but I only have two hands. Besides, I was gonna kill you, remember? As far as I'm concerned, being burned alive in a fiery crash is just as good a death as any." Ryoko laughed. "Well, see ya." Still chuckling, the Demon God leapt out of the doorway.

"Y-y-y- YOU BITCH!" Jinnai ran over to the exit and began shouting madly at the fleeing Demon God. "I'll kill you for this, you hear me?! NO ONE CROSSES LORD GOD JINNAI AND LIVES!!!"

One of Dall's knick-nacks, a four foot tall bronze statue of a nude dolphin bear, was whipped from its perch atop a high bookcase by the ship's rocking. It fell downwards and bopped the screaming Jinnai in the back of the head, knocking her unconcious.

The poor transformed despot fell out of the open doors, and into the skies above Florestica.


The massive swarm of happy face machines continued to speed through the air above Florestica. Although their source was destroyed, there was still enough of them that had escaped the blast to complete their objective. The yellow smiling monstrosities flew about the spires of the palace. They then launched themselves up vertically, speeding into the high skies above.

Upon reaching an altitude of 3,000 miles, they began to circle about, forming an orbit around each other. The swarm coallesced into a spherical shape, each robot's orbit spinning faster and faster. Yellow sparks of energy began to flare from within the dark mass. Soon the machines were a blur of movement, their speed intensifying as they began to complete their programmed task. Vast amounts of energy was expended, fusing and reshaping matter.

Within an hour the machines were done, creating a massive flying structure in the air from their own bodies. It was a black, ominous construct, spherical in shape. Lining its surface were numerous crack-like fissures, from which red light began to emanate. Aside from these fissures, the sphere was completely smooth until it came to the juncture of these fissures. They collected into a large chasm in the structure, circular in shape and very deep. In this crater was seated a floating yellow orb.

The Bugrom, Roshtarians, and Cretarians gathered in the street below. All looked up in awe and fear at the mighty new weapon created before their very eyes.

In the silence of the skies above the city, the Second Eye of God waited.
« Last Edit: December 25, 2003, 11:52:54 am by lord_god_jinnai » Logged

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« Reply #41 on: December 25, 2003, 04:33:03 pm »

It should be very hot in a volcano. But oddly enough Kauru didn't mind. It was pleasantly warm in Ibn Al Zahad's strong arms, and it felt entirely like sleeping in, tucking in a warm bed, without a worry in the world. So she was actually a little annoyed when the demon god began to rise. What are you doing? she thought.

My apologies, Great Master Kauru. I had hoped to give you time enough to fully rest, and for the last of your genetic programming to service.

Is that why we were waiting?

That and because it would have been really cool to see the good guys try to get inside a volcano, when it's already been pointed out how gosh darn hot the things are. Kauru found herself in agreement. That would be pretty cool, actually. Unfortunately, continued her demon god (her demon god... it was going to take some time to get used to thinking that), someone has awakened the sleeper in the tomb beneath. Rather than deal with this new problem, I believe we should move.

Kauru found herself nodding. That does make sense. Where are we going to?

I believe my sister unit is putting plans in motion, and your programming has not yet fully surfaced. I feel we should continue to let you get your rest. I know of another volcano we can wait in.

The two burst out from the volcano like a tiny eruption, much to the shock of those waiting outside it. "You mean we'll be inside another volcano?" said Kauru, aloud this time, just loud enough for the party below to overhear.

"Yes, Great Master Kauru," replied Ibn Ala Zahad. And then, with the familiar sound of the sound barrier breaking, the two were flying away.

On top of the volcano, this was taken about as well as could be expected.

"ack," said Shayla.

"eep," said Parnasse.

"arg," said Nanami.

"gah," said Ura, happy to have another line.

"ngh," said Crayna-Crayna below, watching the whole thing through her telescope.

"'THE HELL?" they said in unison.


The Dollmaker looked around her chamber, dripping translucent goo in blatant fanservice. Calmly, serenely, she stepped down from the pedastal that had held up her prison, carelessly stepping on the fallen body of Ishiel in the process. She looked at her 'daughter' with the contempt she now had for all organics. "Curious," she said aloud, "I had expected something more dramatic. For us to merge, or something similar. The alien biomaterial is the cause, no doubt." She looked around with a frown. "Damn. No clothes. It would appear Salli did not think of that." She regarded Ishiel's prone form cooly, and, with a shrug, began to strip the Great Priestess of Earth. She talked aloud, sorting things out in her mind, as was her manner. "Time must have passed since I was imprisoned. Still, I imagine my escape route is still operational." She slipped on Ishiel's clothes, then, with a grimace, pulled her left thumb back hard. There was a loud 'crack' sound, and a portal -not unlike the ones made with Nanami's axe- appeared before her. She smiled and stepped through, the portal closing behind her.


"A A moment of your time, Master YumeYume."

Yume's straw made a loud noise as she sucked out the last of her soda. She flung the can over her shoulder in the general direction of The Other's voice, and retrieved a stick of Pocky like candy, which she popped into her mouth. All while her free hand was being used to rack up an incredible Tetris score. "Nope," she said, "sorry, busy now. Can't talk about anything but Palaces."

"What What about Project: Yakage; can you talk about that that?"

Yume choked on her candy, her eyes bulging. GAME OVER, announced the video game. She whirled around in her seat and shook an angry finger at this air. "Threaten!" the finger seemed to say. "Listen you overblown... how in blazes did you even find out about that?"

"Please Please, Master Yume Yume. The The files' password was 'studmuffin' muffin. It It didn't take the greatest genius ever bornborn."

Yume glared at the nothingness, since she couldn't glare at The Other. In a very firm gesture she crossed her hands over her chest. "Okay, so you know about my pet project. Point to you. So what?"

"We We wish to help you finish your project project."

Yume roared with laughter. "You have got to be kidding me. There is no way I'm letting you 'help' me, and I use the term 'help' in a sarcastic way, with this project. Thanks all the same, but I can finish building Yakage myself."

"You You of course know the Creterian economy will shortly collapse apse."

"Well DUH."

"Master Master Yume, why do you work for the war department department?"

Yume raised an eyebrow and frowned, not at all liking where this was going. "Because they're the only ones with the resources to fund me." The Other waited. Yume frowned deeper, going over these words again. The other shoe dropped. "Oh," she said as it finally sank in, "we're not at war any more, are we?"

" Well Well..... no no"

Yume pressed her fingers to her forehead and laughed. "Meaning no more funding, meaning I don't get to finish Project: Yakage."

"Yes Yes, that's about the size of it it."

"Meaning, if I'm to get this project done, I'll probably have to do it in the next few minutes, before repo men come knocking on my door. Meaning I do need your help after all." She gave a dark little chuckle and continued, "and you're going to want something in return."

"Tit Tit for tat, Master Yume Yume.A A variable has finally managed to earn our complete and utter ire ire.It It has been a long time since anyone has irritated us as much as this... girl girl."

And then Yume saw her with perfect clarity, her short cropped hair, her curvaceous body, the slight smirk almost always in her lips. And Yume knew her name too. "Okay, a little warning next time, I almost coughed up my soda. What'n blazes did this Ishiel ever do to you?"

"She She has forced us to take an active role long before we were ready ready. She She has been allowed to take far too important a role role.She She seems to think she is meant to be something other than a background character, as the other priestesses areare." Yume blinked as she felt The Other in her mind, correcting equations, suggesting others, quietly crunching numbers at a speed that even the great genius found mind boggling.

"The The threat posed by your people and the threat posed by Kalia were not meant to be dealt with simultaneously, nor was she meant to destroy the first Eye of God or the Frencharian weapon, nor was she meant to gain the techtouch ability, nor was she meant to gain a weapon capable of destroying a demon god, and she certainly wasn't meant to learn how to make machines and rebuild things using her illusions illusions.

Even Even now this... back up character is causing other... 'plot devices' to unfold simultaneously simultaneously.These These were threats intended for the Earther and his friends to face, as a group, one at a time, to gain in experience and knowledge knowledge."

"So let me get this straight. You think this Ishiel girl is making things happen too fast, has been given too much power, and has started to push other "players" out of the limelight. And you want me to do something about it?"

"Correct Correct as usual, Master Yume Yume.You You are to be applauded on your design for the Yakage demon god, Master Yume Yume. A A demon god with the ability to make other demon gods as it sees fit, with neural patterns partly modeled on your own own. It It is a novel idea idea. He He may very well be the worthy mate you desire desire."

"Yeah, well... speed dating wasn't working out. Couldn't find anyone that suited me, so I figured I'd just build one."

"I'm I'm sure others feel the same way way."

"What, like the current writer?"

"Never Never you mind mind. At At any rate, with the changes we are now showing you, it should be well within Yakage's power to remove the girl's techtouch, reduce her weapon's power level to its unaugmented power levels, remove her ability to rebuild machines with her illusions, and thus restore the natural order of things, insuring that the earthers will once more take center stage, and will have to treat each threat with the respect it deserves deserves."

Yume began to type in the necessary adjustments to her computer, and all around her machines began to roar to life. Her mouth twisted somewhat, for she was finding this just a bit much to swallow.

"I dunno, might be easier just to off the girl and be done with it."

"No No, she is too good for fanservice, which is a power even we dare not cross cross. Luckily Luckily the method used to permanently remove her extraneous power is deliciously fanservicey, and thus is positively destined to occur occur."

Yume raised an eyebrow in slight disbelief. "Now hold on, just because something's very fanservicy doesn't mean-" and then she looked at what The Other had told her to type, quickly figured out what the program would do, and widened her eyes in awe. She whistled. "Oh wow. You're right. It's got to happen. That's got to be the most fanservicey thing yet. Dang, you should practically take a bow."

"Well Well, we try try."


Deep under the territory ruled by the Bugrom, The Dollmaker stood in the last of her backup labs. To one side stood Kain, one of her deactivated demon gods. Sadly he was not as sophisticated as Kalia had been, but with any luck there weren't many demon gods to deal with. In the room's center was a Rain of Tears generator, which should be much more useful as a weapon. Theoretically she could have begun work on a new demon god, but she didn't really have the appropriate materials.

She had the appropriate materials to rebuild the Incandescent Vault, however. And that was what she really wanted to do, so she got right down to work, humming a cheerful little dirge. It would take the better part of a day to finish this, she realized, but surely there was no one left to stop her.


Makoto blinked. Floating in the air on front of his face was what looked like an oversized turtle. Its face was nothing but a smiley face. "Hi!" it said.

"Um... hi," replied Makoto, nervously sweating nervous sweat. Both Ifuritas had their staffs pointed at the little thing - his own Ifurita, and the Ifurita whose hair, oddly enough, seemed to be changing to look more like Yuba Yurias'. "Um, can I help you?" asked Makoto.

"Boy, I sure hope so!" replied the turtle thing in a high pitched voice. "We're looking for the Princesses. We need them to make things go boom."

"Boom!" agreed another turtle thing that swooped down to join its friend. They were managing to keep pace with the sand cart Makoto and the Ifuritas were in.

"Well, I don't think that's a good idea," Makoto said, trying to be reasonable.

"No?" replied the turtle thing. "Well, don't try to stop us. Some of us have explosives! Whheee, explosives!" It exploded in demonstration, destroying the sand cart and sending Makoto and the girls flying. As he sommersaulted through the air Makoto got a good look at the new Eye of God... and the cloud of turtle things that had apparently been made from whatever parts were left over after the Eye's construction. He landed with a thud, right next to the other turtle thing. He gulped in fear, hoping he wouldn't die such a silly death.

"Do... do you have explosives too?" he asked, immediately regretting it.

The turtle shook its head sadly. "No, only half of us do that. I just do this." A strange beam came from its eyes, hitting Makoto in the chest. He was relieved to be alive, until he realized the damn thing must have been some sort of strange disruptor ray that made people wet their pants. "Sad, isn't it?" commented the turtle.


"Well hot damn," grinned Yume as Yakage stepped from his construction chamber, "girl, you really are the greatest genius alive."

"We We want all the heroes gathered in one place again, Master Yume, if that is possiblepossible."

"Piece'a'cake!" replied the great genius.

"Excellent Excellent, in that case we can bum off, before we start upstaging the heroes heroes."
« Last Edit: December 25, 2003, 08:32:11 pm by d.t. » Logged

"You're going to dump me, your childhood friend, for a little chippie with a precocious set of melons?!" -Nanami
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« Reply #42 on: December 26, 2003, 11:45:00 am »

OOC:  Sorry for holding my place all day.  Things Happened.

In the silence of the skies above El-Hazard, the Second Eye of God continued to wait.

The Roshtarians, Bugrom and Creterians finally tired of looking up in awe and fear at the mighty new weapon created before their very eyes, seeing as how it didn't seem to be doing much of anything.  And there was still quite a lot of dancing, drinking and making-out to be done.

Only a few of the celebrants noticed the turtle-shaped happy smiley faces flying around, suddenly appearing and disappearing, in a cute little Yggdrasil goddess kind of way.

A somewhat larger number of celebrants noticed the sudden increase in rubber chickens, whoopee cushions, and open banana peels scattered about the place.  They didn't give it much thought, what with all the partying that was still going on.

But they would soon learn just how annoying the turtle-shaped happy smiley faces could be.

Ryoko, having successfully completed the first step of her new course of action (as far as she knew, anyway), had moved on to Step Two.  She had set Ifurita-3 aside while she did unspeakable things to Dall-3-- things that the current writer is foolishly going to try to describe a little later anyway, against his better judgment.

At one point, she turned to where she had left Ifurita-3, and noticed that the fan-fiction based demon god was gone.

Ryoko frowned and scratched her head, then shrugged to herself.  "Huh.  Coulda swore I had an Ifurita, a minute ago... ah well."

Ifurina had brought Fujisawa back to his family's rural hideaway.

Miz was instinctively jealous, at first, to see her dear husband returned in the arms of the uber-kawaii demon god.  But, seconds after her introduction to the delightfully polite and sweet little Ifurina, Miz's fears were laid to rest.  She even invited the teenager and her talking key-staff to dinner.

After dinner was served, conversation quickly turned to the events of the day.  "Have you seen the new Eye of God?" Miz asked.

"Yup," Fujisawa said.  "Not much we can do about about it, for the time being.  But we're all in for a test of our strength and endurance.  The powers of the new Eye of God will annoy us like never before."

"Oh dear!" Miz said.  "But... just exactly what does the new Eye of God--  YEEEK!!"  SPLAT!!

A turtle-shaped smiley face, wielding a Skuld-esque red plastic hammer, had just appeared out of thin air, and gently whacked Miz in the back of her head, pushing her face down into her plate.  The smiley face pulled at one eye, and stuck out its metallic tongue, in a cute little Yggdrasil goddess kind of way, before vanishing.

"Ah," Miz said into her plate, without pulling her face out of her food.  "Yes, this is going to be an annoying challenge."

{Ifurita?} "said" Yuba.  {I feel that I should apologize.  For both Ishiel and myself.}

"What?  Why?" Ifurita-2 asked.  "Oh, Yuba!  Did you tickle her?  You incorrigible rascal!"

{Er, well, yes.  But I assure you, it was only in an eccentric uncle kind of way.  The poor girl needed cheering up...

{No, Ifurita.  I must apologize for imposing myself on you, like this.  Neither Ishiel nor myself asked you, ahead of time, whether you wanted a voice in your head for the rest of eternity.}

Ifurita-2's eyes went all shiny, in a lovely way.  "Oh, my beloved Yuba.  I would not wish for anything else than to have you back, and in such a close and intimate way.  It is better than when I knew you before.  And to think, that we shall be together like this for the rest of my immortal life...

Sweet tears of pure joy trickled down Ifurita-2's face.  "Oh, Yuba!  I am so happy!"

{I love you, Ifurita, with all my soul.}

"And I love you.  My dear, sweet, precious Yuba-- eh?"

Ifurita-2 looked to her side, and saw Makoto and his Ifurita looking back at her.  They were both sweat-dropping like nobody's business.

Ifurita-2 giggled, and dabbed at her moist eyes.  "Ah.  Forgive me.  I was speaking with my internalized soul-mate.  Um, actually, if I am not needed, I shall return to my oasis now.  I fear that, if I remain in your company, I shall quickly gain a reputation for talking to myself."

Makoto and Ifurita both hugged her.  "Be happy, my sister," said Ifurita.  "Oh, and you might want to pick up some hair styling gel.  Your Yuba is showing."

Ifurita-2 left the ground, and slowly drifted away, returning to her desert oasis at a leisurely speed, and apparently talking to herself again.  "Erm, Yuba?  Can you not wait until we--  GAH!!  Hee hee!!  Oh no!!  Hee hee!!  Not there--  YEEEK!!  Hee hee!!  Hee hee!!..."

Makoto and his Ifurita both continued to sweat-drop as they watched Ifurita-2, convulsing with tickled laughter, twisting and corkscrewing through the skies as she drifted away.

"Well... she seems happy enough..." Makoto noted.

Ifurita clutched at Makoto's arm and sighed with contentment.  "As am I... Makoto?  Is something troubling you?"

Makoto smiled sheepishly.  "Uh, two things, actually.  Uh, Ifurita?  Do you know how much time has passed since my first treatment of Bugrom serum?"

Ifurita rolled her eyes up, and put one finger to her mouth, deep in thought.  "It is difficult to say.  It is difficult to estimate the passing of time, when the point of view keeps changing so--  MAKOTO!?"

Makoto had collapsed to the ground.  Ifurita kneeled at his side, and tenderly held his head.  "Oh no!  Forgive me, Makoto!  I left the serum at the Muldoon temple!  I do not have enough energy left to portal us there, but I should just be able to carry you back--"

"Well," Makoto said weakly, "there's one other thing that was troubling me.  I released you from Dr. Yume's control..."

"Yes?" Ifurita asked.

"And Yuba released his Ifurita..."


"So, who released the third Ifurita?"

A moment of silence passed.

"Uh oh," Ifurita said.

Ifurita took up Makoto in her arms, just barely in time to save him from a bolt of energy fired from the no longer comatose Ifurita-3's key-staff.

Makoto and his Ifurita looked up, and they both gasped.  The relatively meek Ifurita-3 now had a terrifying blood-thirsty look on her face.  She snarled, and drooled just a little, in a demonic way.

"Her mind... is still... infected," Makoto gasped, now in pain.  "Infection... out of... control.  Must be... stopped..."  He passed out.

Makoto's Ifurita looked back to her youngest sister.  Ifurita-3 was arguably the weakest of the Ifuritas, but in her own weakened condition, Makoto's Ifurita wouldn't stand a chance against her.  And Makoto was quickly running out of time.

"Hoo boy," said Ifurita.

EDIT:  Deleted an unsuccessful experiment in creepy fan service.

In a place that's about as far away from El-Hazard as is possible in the entire multi-verse, a dainty gloved hand reached out and switched off a small monitor.

Then, as the woman behind the hand thought about things, she sat back in an elaborate chair, summoned up a perfect red rose, and absent-mindedly twirled it in her hand.

Fascinating, Peorth thought.  Simply extraordinaire.  These puny mortals achieve new levels of fan-service with each passing day.

Peorth was content to watch and wait, for now.  After all, at least two other writers were throwing around extra-powerful behind-the-scenes players.  The Splendiloquent (and very, very, very vain) Peorth wished to make her appearance when all eyes would be on her.  It simply wouldn't do, to appear when her soon-to-be El-Hazard Fan Club was distracted with all those nasty old super-villains, n'est-ce pas?

Having decided to wait awhile longer, Peorth switched her Yggdrasil monitor back on.  I don't want to miss anything, she thought.  If Ishiel's fate was to be the most fan-servicey thing yet, as Yume opined, that it was going to have to be something quite remarkable, in order to beat Dall and Ryoko's fugitive honeymoon.

Whatever it is, I hope Ishiel comes to enjoy it, Peorth thought, with a bit of sadness.  The poor dear has been through so much lately.  She deserves to have a little fun.
« Last Edit: July 01, 2004, 11:01:51 pm by mrwhat » Logged
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« Reply #43 on: December 27, 2003, 01:57:56 am »

(Dall in a diaper is considered "fan-service for the ladies" now? O_o O_O o_O )
« Last Edit: December 27, 2003, 02:05:13 am by d.t. » Logged

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« Reply #44 on: December 27, 2003, 10:49:34 am »

Seriously, I must have finally crossed the line here, so I'll drop most of the fan-service jokes.  They're getting old, anyway.

...A pity I didn't know that earlier.  ;D

From deep within her ancient lab, the Dollmaker frowned.  Her data collectors were detecting the presence of two incredibly powerful demon gods and a peculiar genetic structure.  It almost reminded her of _them_, but it couldn't be.  Not unless...

She suddenly smirked.  "So, I wasn't dreaming.  The Northern Weaponers legacy has also been awakened.  Well, I suppose it's time we settled the score and decide once and for all who will decide the future of this world.  Let's see how well your Ibn Al Zahad and Jinnistacia fare against my daughter."

Awaken, Ishiel.  I have use of you again.

"Kain, guard my lab while I'm gone, all right?  Destroy all intruders," the Dollmaker commanded her now reactivated Demon God who nodded quietly in obedience.  

"Good.  And now...ow!" she muttered as she snapped her thumb again, opening another portal.  "Of all the places to hide a secret escape route, this was the only one that didn't qualify as fan-service," she commented ruefully as she entered the portal and disappeared.


"Oh fer crying out loud!  You Ancients just don't know how to cooperate, do you?" Yume commented bitterly as she watched her beautiful calculations become useless and explode in a flash of brightly colored pixels.  "Gr, well then, I suppose there's no helping it.  I have been tasked with eliminating the variables and balancing the equation, and if a linear progression of events won't work, I'll take the path of least resistance and merely set the variables in opposition to each other and use my Demon Gods to counterbalance the chaos effects."  She furiously typed in a series of new commands to her computer.

Creterian Eye of God accessed.  Targets acquired.  Teleporting...now.

"Hahaha!  I _love_ being the deus ex machina!" Yume exclaimed as she took out a bag of popcorn and a large holographic screen appeared in mid-air before her.  It was time to watch the pawns in action.


"Did we...just see a Demon God carry an unharmed Kauru out of a live volcano, call her master, and fly away?" Parnasse asked, finally freed from his state of shock.

"ack," said Shayla.

"arg," said Nanami.

"gah," said Ura, happy to have yet another line.

Apparently they were still in a state of shock.





"Did we...just see Ishiel fly unharmed out of this volcano...without any clothes on?" Parnasse asked, grinning.

"ack," said Shayla.

"arg," said Nanami.

"gah," said Ura, realizing he was on a roll.

"eep," said Parnasse, deciding that a state of shock was probably the safest place he could be in right now, a decision that seemed even wiser when a black portal opened beneath Shayla's feet and she disappeared.

"eep," said Parnasse.

"arg," said Nanami.

"gah," said Ura, deciding he liked that word and might even make it his signature catchphrase.


One moment Ifurita found herself desperately evading her sister's attacks, and the next she found herself in a dark, underground cavern still desperately trying to evade her sister's attacks.

The Demon God Kain, sensing intruders, came to life and took to the air.  "In the name of the Dollmaker, she who gave life to us all, I shall-"

Ifurita-3 turned to face this newest opponent and went berserk...Neon Genesis Evangelion style.  


Needless to say, the Demon God Kain didn't stand a chance.

As for Ifurita, she decided to use this distraction to get as far away from her currently demented sister as possible and take Makoto with her.  However, after a moment of examining her surroundings, she realized with growing horror that Makoto was nowhere nearby.


"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-" Lord God, currently Lady Goddess, Jinnai screamed as she fell through the sky above Florestica, watching with terrified eyes as the ground (far too quickly for her liking) rushed up to meet her.

Fortunately, for whatever reasons, Jinnai luckily happened to qualify as 'one of those heroes' right now and was included in Yume's mass teleport.

Unfortunately for him/her, so were Lady Fatora and Alielle.


"Sister Jinnistacia, you're here earlier than I expected.  Did something go amiss?" Ibn Al Zahad asked curiously, standing on the summit of another volcano and left eye twitching at the sight of his partner.

"Tee-hee!  Of course not, silly Zahad!  I merely got bored with those Phantom Tribers and, after they finished my costume change, decided to take my cute leave of them!  Like my new look?  Tee-hee!" Pretty Magical God Jinnie inquired, assuming a cheesecake pose that displayed her painfully pink halter top and scandalously short mini-skirt and left very little to the imagination.

Ibn Al Zahad quietly decided that Jinnistacia had been asleep a little _too_ long and that it wasn't even worth asking why she had a new face.  Kauru shifted slightly in his arms and stirred, waking up from her nap.  

"Is it time?" the Water Priestess asked, a distant and removed tone to her voice.

"No, not yet, Master.  Sleep a little longer, and then the world will-" Ibn Al Zahad started to say only to be interrupted by the sudden appearance of a portal beside them.

The Dollmaker stepped out and smiled emotionlessly at them.  "The world will have to wait, oh children of greed, murder, and war.  You have other concerns to worry about right now."

Kauru released herself from Ibn Al Zahad's protective grasp and glared haughtily at the Dollmaker, an alien look in her eyes.  "All who oppose the future of peace I will create must be destroyed.  My loyal servitors, attack!"

Ibn Al Zahad and Pretty Magical God Jinnie took aim with their key-staffs at an unconcerned Dollmaker and prepared to fire.  However, much to their surprise, they found they couldn't.

"Un...unable to acquire...target, tee...hee!" Pretty Magical God Jinnie spoke with great effort.  Ibn Al Zahad would've been sweating from strain had he been able to.

The Dollmaker laughed.  "Oh please, what did your creators take me for?  A fool?  Once it became obvious that Ifurita was going to be transformed into a 'Demon God' I encoded a failsafe deep within her programming, and since all of the Northern Weaponer's demon gods utilize copies of Ifurita's AI unit...your two Demon Gods can't harm me."

"...Perhaps, but I certainly can," Kauru muttered menacingly, sending a crushing wave of water at her adversary which, to her surprise, was canceled out by an equally powerful wave of water.

"Experiments 50-54 - the Elemental Lamps," the Dollmaker explained, a note of sadness in her voice.  "The Northern Weaponers and I collaborated on them...back when the world was not consumed by war.  I developed the user interface, and they created the elemental control circuits.  It was child's play for me to devise a biological version of their invention and incorporate it in my DNA...just as was done to your ancestors, presumably.  Heh, how appropriate that both our children, with their inherited affinity for elemental manipulation, would become priestesses."

As she was saying this, the Dollmaker slowly advanced towards the stoic Kauru.  Ibn Al Zahad and Jinnistacia continued to try to block her path but each time they found themselves halted by their own programming.

The Dollmaker eyed them critically.  "I see the Northern Weaponers altered your structural designs slightly from your initial blueprints.  They probably made a host of other improvements too.  Well, no matter.  Though powerless against me, you could still prove to be a distraction.  I think I'll let my daughter deal with you."

It was then that a naked Ishiel, leaving nothing to the imagination, rocketed onto the scene and tackled Ibn Al Zahad.  Jinnasticia, pleased at finally being able to do something, took to the air and followed them as they went off the side of the volcano.  The Dollmaker and Kauru were alone at last.

"This battle is between you and me...as it should be," the Dollmaker commented as she covered the distance separating them.  "You will finally pay for your sins."

In a voice that was not her own, Kauru replied, "Your hands are as bloodstained as our own, perhaps even moreso.  At least we never deliberately took a life."

"No," the Dollmaker answered angrily and perhaps a bit hysterically.  "You merely created weapons capable of destroying entire nations and, with the Eye of God, even the world, enslaved the minds of countless sentient computers, and sold them to the highest bidder, not caring how they were used or how many people died as a result.  At least _I_ realized the consequences of my actions and tried to do something about it!"

"But, like us, it was already too late," Kauru, the last scion of her tribe, answered.  "When your plague struck, we finally realized the horror we'd unleashed upon the world and that there was nothing we could do to stop it.  For us, the Northern Weaponers, the most advanced and 'civilized' nation the world had ever seen, that was a horrible realization.  And now, like you, we shall save this world and all of humanity from itself."

For one brief moment, the Dollmaker and Last Scion understood each other perfectly, sharing thoughts of what ifs and might've beens and lost possibilities.

"Oh, my old friends, where did we go wrong?" the Dollmaker asked mournfully, eyes shining with regret and sadness.

"We both know where.  Your early, misplaced idealism and our arrogant, ignorant conceit," the Last Scion answered her, voice laden with resignation.  "We both realize what must happen next."

Lightning flashed, thunder boomed dramatically, and a battle millennia in coming began.





Okay, so a cat-fight millennia in coming began.  Big deal.  However, despite the weight both human minds felt at having the guilt for the worst war the world had ever seen and countless deaths placed at their feet, the knowledge that for all their brilliant scientific accomplishments they'd only brought destruction and devastation to the world, and that they were now both desperately trying to atone for their sins - one through giving the world absolute freedom, the other by absolute control - , one thing had not changed.

The Dollmaker and Northern Weaponers were still misguided, naive fools.


Makoto, Shayla-Shayla, Fatora, Alielle, Jinnai, and Groucho found themselves standing at the summit of a volcano.  Well, Shayla-Shayla, Fatora, Alielle, and Groucho were standing.  Makoto was convulsing on the ground and Jinnai landed on top of Fatora.  

"Owwww...that defective, demented demon god will pay dearly for this!" Jinnai promised as she stood up.  "I'll hunt her down to the ends of the world and-...eh?"  It was then that she realized that a lecherous 2nd Princess of Florestica was holding onto her in a very suggestive manner.

"Hmmm...I don't think we've met.  I'm Princess Fatora, _pleased_ to make your acquaintance.  Let's say we...get to know one another better," Fatora suggested huskily into Jinnai's left ear.

Jinnai shuddered.  "No-no, let's...not!  I'm actually a man!"

"Funny, you don't _feel_ like a man," Fatora commented slyly, touching Jinnai in a certain spot to prove her point.

Lord God, currently Lady Goddess, Jinnai, leader of the Bugrom Empire, the Human Alliance, and now the Creterian Empire, panicked, hastily shoved Fatora away, and jumped onto Groucho's back.  

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" she ordered.  Groucho, blushing slightly, promptly obeyed.

Fatora smirked.  "Aw, how cute.  She's playing hard to get.  After her, Alielle!  Let's make her...appreciate our friendship."

They gave chase.

Shayla-Shayla, believing that she was now alone with Makoto, took out a bottle containing the prepared cure and grinned from ear-to-ear.  After all, Makoto was obviously in need of _immediate_ treatment and she couldn't be blamed for saving his life even if it meant 'sacrificing' herself to do so.


"What the heck was that?!!" Shayla shouted, looking up and quickly realizing that they _weren't_ alone.

The battle between the ultimate creations of the Dollmaker and the Northern Weaponers was stunningly beautiful, but not in the way an evenly matched, perfectly symmetrical mle is.  No, this was more like a chaotic war where the advantage is constantly shifting and stuff blows up in impressive pyrotechnic displays every other second.  One moment Ishiel would be merrily pounding away at Ibn Al Zahad and Jinnistacia, the next the two of them would mercilessly double-team her, they'd both recover almost instantaneously from their injuries, and then they'd re-collide at incredibly high speeds and resume trying to completely eradicate one another.
Their battle was beautiful in the sense a supernova is beautiful.  It is an unstoppable force of nature that destroys everything in its path.  Now imagine what happens when three supernovas cross paths.

Shayla-Shayla did, decided that there was no place on the planet that could possibly be safe, and that she might as well as enjoy her last few minutes of life.  Unfortunately for her, Makoto was no longer convulsing on the ground.  Instead, being the hero that he is, Makoto was rushing towards the struggling Dollmaker and Last Scion on the _other_ side of the summit with the intention of making them stop this madness.

Being the hero is rarely easy.  Being the poisoned, almost dead, running around the rim of an active volcano, only one who can stop a cat-fight millennia in coming, hero is...well, it's definitely _not_ easy.

« Last Edit: December 27, 2003, 04:02:29 pm by rowan_a._seven » Logged
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