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Author Topic: Chat Roleplay  (Read 4416 times)
Demon God(ess)
Posts: 349

Here to make friends and destroy stuff!

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« on: November 14, 2003, 09:32:32 am »

As some of you know, Dragonprincess set up an IRC channel devoted to roleplaying El-Hazard. It's not the kind of roleplaying I'm used to, but I decided to drop by anyway.

She and I roleplayed a bit, and I thought the result was pretty cool, and so decided to post it here For Your Reading Enjoyment! ^_^V

This presentation has been rated PE, Poorly Edited. Viewers sensitive to spelling and grammar errors are advised to look away. If reading this feature causes weakness, headaches, or nausea, the reader is advised to, I dunno, shut off the computer and go get some excercise, or something.

*Stuff in purple with asterisks* = actions
"Stuff in quotes" = dialogue
.oO(Stuff in bubbles) = thoughts

[size=8]Kalia Meets TV Ifurita[/size]

Dramatis Personae

Kalia as portrayed by Dragonprincess
TV Ifurita as portrayed by Spanner

with guest appearance by

Katsuhiko Jinnai as portrayed by Spanner


The time is... well... sometime after "The Alternative World". Unbeknownst to all, Kalia somehow survived being melted into goo by Ifurita 2. Unfortunately for Kalia's plans for Universal Destruction, the Trigger of Destruction did not. So, deprived of her Ultimate Weapon, the mischievous and psychotic Demon God set out to find other ways to give everyone a bad day...

Kastuhiko Jinnai, for his part, has unearthed yet another Demon God. Unfortunately for Jinnai's plans for Universal Conquest, this Demon God is TV Ifurita, bright and bubbly but clumsy and all-but useless as an Instrument of Terror.

As we begin our tale, Kalia has infiltrated the newly-reconstructed Bugrom Hive. What possible Evil Plan could she have in store...?

<Kalia> *Reading Jinnai's diary* "What an idiot..."
<TV Ifurita> *Enters the room, cheerfully sweeping with her broom.* "Oh! Hello! Have we met?"
<Kalia> *blinks at Ifurita* "Hey there" .oO(why do I get the feeling I know her)
<TV Ifurita> *Cheerfully* "My name is Ifurita! I'm a powerful Demon God, and this is my Master's fortress. Pleased to meet you!"
<Kalia> .oO(She's an Ifurita model? strange, I didn't know there were this types, I have no data on this) "So LGJ is your master?"
<TV Ifurita> *Puzzled* "'LGJ'? My Master's name is Katsuhiko Jinnai..."
<Kalia> *puts Jinnai's book down then stands up, going over to Ifurita* "Ya, that's Katsie Watsie all right, he laughs like this too" *tries to do an imitation of his laugh*
<TV Ifurita> *Smiles eagerly* "Oh, yes! That's my Master! Do you know him well?"
<Kalia> *smiles, oh ya, she's just a little sweet girl, riiiiggghhh* "Oh yes, we know each other pretty well, by the way, how do you know him exactly?"
<TV Ifurita> "Me?" *Screws up her face in  concentration* "Well... He's my Master. He's the one who woke me up, and wound me up with my staff... I think. My memory's a little fuzzy about that. But I'm sure he would never lie to me!" *She nods, confidently*
<Kalia> "Oh no, not LGJ, he'd never lie" .oO(I wonder if she's functioning properly)
<TV Ifurita> "Right!" *Smiles beatifically* "Would you like me to take you to him? I'm sure Master would love to see one of his old friends again! He can't have that many, 'cause he hardly ever talks about them, so I'm sure he'll be really really happy to see you!"
<Kalia> "No, that's alright, he must be busy making up a 'brilliant' plan, how about we talk alittle bit more?"
<TV Ifurita> *Nods solemnly* "You're right... Master spends so much time on his plans, and he gets so cranky if he's interrupted. Miss Diva gets so worried about him sometimes!"
<Kalia> "Yes, I'm afraid he's going to work himself to death one time" .oO(as if that would ever happen, he has one weird case of good fortune sometimes)
<TV Ifurita> *Looks genuinely frightened* "Oh, no! Do you think he really might?"
<Kalia> .oO(I think he wound this one a bit to tight and broke a screw) "you never know, does his eyes get all squinty and veins pop out on his face?"
<TV Ifurita> *Looking even MORE frightened* "Oh, yes! All the time!" *Clutches staff nervously* "Is it... serious?"
<Kalia> "oh my, does he sometimes just ramble on about nothing too?"
<TV Ifurita> "Yes! Well, mostly he rambles about 'That lousy rat Mizuhara', but sometimes he just seems to ramble..." *Chews her lip*
<Kalia> "my my, this is really bad, he might go at any minute!"
<TV Ifurita> *Almost in tears* "Oh, no! This is terrible!" *Looks determined* "We have to save him! Even if it means saving him from himself!" *Dashes out the door.*
<Kalia> "wait! come back! he can't know! it might kill him instantly!"
<TV Ifurita> *Is out of hearing range already*
<TV Ifurita> *Time passes... Then, Iffy returns, carrying a struggling and protesting Jinnai in her arms.* "Now, Master, don't you worry, this is for your own good!"
<Jinnai> "Ifurita! If you don't put me down this instant, I'll-" *Sees Kalia* "Ack! It's you!!!"
<Kalia> *smiles* "hey there LGJ, long time no see, I was just talking to my new 'friend' Ifurita"
<TV Ifurita> *Sighs happily* "It's so nice to see a reunion between friends! *Dumps Jinnai to the floor*
<Jinnai> *Levels his finger at Kalia* "Don't you give me that 'long time no see' crap! You BETRAYED me! And tried to destroy the world I've put so much care and effort into conquering!"
<Kalia> "oh my, Ifurita, I think he's getting worse! he thinks I want to destroy the world!"
<Jinnai> *Eyes get all squinty, and veins pop out all over his face* "'Getting worse??' What the hell are you talking about?! I - HEY!"
<TV Ifurita> *Has grabbed Jinnai's arms* "There, there, Master... Ifurita and your old friend will make it ALL better!"
<Kalia> "oh yes, we'll make it all better" *smiles but well sorta has that psycho smile, making sure Ifurita doesn't see it* "he even was babbling on about stuff like I said, my my, I think there is a cure but I can't remember" *taps a finger to her lips*
<Jinnai> *Struggling in vain* "Ifurita! Don't you DARE listen to a word spoken by this... this... Mata Hari! I'm your Master, and you must do as I command!"
<TV Ifurita> *Pityingly* "I'm sorry, Master, but this is for your own good! I can't let you just work yourself to death!"
<Jinnai> "Work myself to - Kalia, what have you been TELLING my personal private Demon God??"
<TV Ifurita> *Looks to Kalia hopefully* "You can help him, right?"
<Kalia> *puts a hand on her chest, looking innocent* "only the truth, he really has it bad Ifurita, calling me names that don't even exist!" *shakes her head* "I don't know, this is very very grave, he's so much worse then I thought"
<TV Ifurita> "Oh, Master!" *Tears fill her eyes*
<Jinnai> *Exasperated* "Ifurita, I'm fine! See? All limbs in perfect working order! BRILLIANT mind operating at 100% capacity! Everything this woman has told you is a LIE! Do you see?"
<Kalia> "oh no! That's the next phase, denial! his head might explode any minute now!"
<TV Ifurita> *Gasps* "Oh, no!" *Wraps her arms firmly around Jinnai's head in a desperate act to hold his cranium together. This frees Jinnai's arms, but...*
<Jinnai> *Muffled* "Ack! Leggo!" *Grasps futilely at Ifurita's immovable hold on his face.*
<TV Ifurita> *Looks desperately up at Kalia* "What now?!"
<Kalia> "go get something to put around his head while I watch him! hurry!"
<Kalia> "he'll be fine with me, trust me" *smiles, ooh so cute yet so evil*
<TV Ifurita> "Right! I'll be right back! Don't explode, Master!" *Runs from the room.*
<Jinnai> "Ifurita, wait, don't-" *Realizes she's gone.* "-oh, crap..."
<Jinnai> *Straighens confidently* "Now, I suppose that, simply because you have me cornered in a small room, with neither my Demon God nor my loyal Bugrom Legions, you believe that you have somehow obtained the upper hand. If so, you are sadly mistaken, my dear Kalia!"
<Kalia> *stands there, looking at him* "really? and why's that? you saw what I could do, do you really think any of that would help you?"
<Jinnai> *Laughs scornfully* "The REASON, my less-than-loyal former minion, is because not even a Demon God's incredible might is any match for my GENIUS-level intellect! Why, even now, I am concocting a plan so dire, so inescapably Machiavellian, that once you are trapped within its intricate workings there will be NO ESCAPE for you! HAhahAhahAHAhAhahAHahAHaHAhahAHAhAha!!!"
<Kalia> *blinks, blinkblinks then smiles a bit* "you have no idea what your going to do, do you? *taps a finger to her lips* "i wonder if something happened to Ifurita if you could bring her back"
<Jinnai> .oO(She can't possibly know what a waste of metal Ifurita is! Bluffing her should be a piece of cake!) *Smirks* "Don't you dare imagine that you can frighten me with your idle threats! You may have defeated that second-rate clone of that TRAITOR Ifurita, but I assure you that nothing you have can possibly stand up against the raw, rightious fury of my NEW Ifurita! Her power is without limit! Her tactics are instantaneous and without flaw! Her mind is as keen as - MPHH MPHHHH MPHHHHHHHHH!!!"
<TV Ifurita> *Finishes duct-taping Jinnai's head. It's completely encased with only the nose uncovered.* "There! What now?"
<Kalia> "perfect Ifurita, he's safe but only for now, while you where gone he went on and on about how he loves Makoto" *shakes her head* "I think he's to far gone to save"
<TV Ifurita> "No! That can't be true! He-" *Pauses and blinkblinks* "-loves Makoto? That doesn't sound right." *Looks puzzled.*
<Jinnai> *Staggers around blindly, hands outstretched.* "MMMPH!"
<Kalia> "exactly, he must of broke something in his head already, soon he may even want to marry him" *shakes her head* "we may need to.. go inside his head to fix it"
<TV Ifurita> *Shakes her head in confusion* "I... don't understand... Master wouldn't say that he loves Makoto... Not ever..." *Is clearly VERY troubled by this.*
<Jinnai> *Staggers into Kalia. By sheer, stupid coincidence, his hands land right on Kalia's chest.* "MMMPH...?" *Gives an experimental squeeze, and sweatdrops.*
<Kalia> "like I said, he's not thinking right, all that working must of pushed him-" *grits her teeth then grabs him and hugs him tight, very tight* "oh Katsy-Watsy! you poor poor thing" *knees him in the groin* "that tickled LGJ, should I tickle you too?"
<Jinnai> *Falls to the ground, clutching himself in pain.* "MMMPH!"
<TV Ifurita> *Doesn't notice Jinnai's predicament.* "Master hates Makoto so much... He would never say he loves him... No matter how sick he got..." *Begins to look angry.* "No matter what!" *Moving with surprising speed, interposes herself between Kalia and Jinnai.* "You're LYING! Master isn't sick at all!" *Lifts her Power Key Staff into a ready position.*
<Kalia> *blinks, lifting her hand and waving a finger* "you really shouldn't wave that thing around, ask your Master, it's very, dangerous" *says the last word with a hint of, well phycoticness, heck she could drain her right now but well ^^;*
<TV Ifurita> *Doesn't take her eyes off of Kalia.* "Master? Who is this person, really?"
<Jinnai> "MMMMPPPPHHHH!!!"
<TV Ifurita> *Sheepishly.* "Oh, right." *RRRRIIIIIPPPPP!!!!!*
<TV Ifurita> *Even more sheepish* "Uh, sorry, Master..."
<Kalia> *just grins* "if I was you LGJ, I'd call your Ifurita off"
<Jinnai> *Irritably* "THAT, Ifurita, is a former Demon God of mine! She betrayed me, and tried to blow up the world! She is very, very bad!!!"
<Jinnai> *To Kalia* "NEVER! For the humilation you've inflicted on me today, YOU MUST PAY! Ifurita! Kill!"
<TV Ifurita> *Looks concerned* "Uh, kill? Do I have to?"
<Jinnai> *Exasperated* "Oh, for PITY'S SAKE! Just make her go AWAY!!!"
<TV Ifurita> *Mournfully* "I'm sorry, but I have to ask you to leave." *Lifts staff threateningly*
<Kalia> "but I thought we were friends? don't you want to be my friend?" *blinks*
<TV Ifurita> *Guiltily* "Well, yes... But you lied! And anyway, Master told me to! It's even a command!"
<Jinnai> *Viciously* "That's right, Ifurita! Blow her away! Make your master PROUD!!!"
<Kalia> "but I didn't lie, you even told me that he had those problems, how could I lie when it's the truth?"
<TV Ifurita> *Pauses, confused* "I, well..." *Gaze hardens, and she shakes her head.* "No, I won't let you confuse me again!" *Fires a small blast of energy, clearly intended to miss. It blows a small chunk in the ceiling above Kalia's head.* "Please go away, now! I don't want to hurt you. Really!"
<Kalia> *just stands there* "you'd really hurt your own friend? how can you call yourself a friend then?" *evil, Evil, EVIL!*
<TV Ifurita> *Bites her lip* "Um... I..." *Brightens* "I know! I'll just stun you! It won't hurt at all, and then we can put you outside, and Master will be happy!"
<Jinnai> *Grins evilly* "Oh, yes... VERY happy..."
<TV Ifurita> *Smiles happily* "There, you see? Master even agrees with me! Now, get ready!" *Staff begins to power up.*
<Kalia> *shrugs, then gets an idea, smiling* "why don't you ask Master about his other Ifurita he had? are you not afraid he'll toss you aside like he did her?" *his torture is now, a more clingy ifurita*
<Jinnai> *Wild eyed* "Goddammit, Ifurita, just SHOOT HER!"
<TV Ifurita> *Startled* "What?" *In her surprised, trips and falls. An ENORMOUS blast of energy erupts from her staff and plows into the ceiling, blasting through it and through much of the hive above it.* "Uh, oh... I don't think that was a stun blast."
<Jinnai> *Holds hand to forehead.* "Ifurita, what have you done now?"
<TV Ifurita> *Lunges at Jinnai, and covers him with her own body as fully a fifth of the Hive collapses on top of all three of them.*
<Kalia> *blinks, looking up, not even flinching* "...crap" *gets burried underneigth it*
<TV Ifurita> *Some time later, Ifurita pulls Jinnai out of the rubble.* "Master? Are you all right, Master?"
<Jinnai> *Groggily comes to.* "Ungh... Is she gone?"
<TV Ifurita> *Nods rapidly* "Oh, yes!" *Then she frowns* "Only... I forgot to ask her her name!"
<Kalia> *swirly eyed under the pile of rubble*
<Jinnai> *Facefaults* "All that fuss and friendship talk and you didn't even know her NAME?!"
<TV Ifurita> *Looks a bit guilty* "Uh, is it really that important?"
<Jinnai> *Winces* "Oh, never mind. Just take me home, Ifurita. You did a good job..." *Looks around at the decimated Hive.* "...all things considered."
<TV Ifurita> *Overjoyed at the praise.* "Yes, Master!" *Merrily drags her Master inside.*

If you enjoyed that, and think it's something you might like to try, Dragonprincess wants everyone to know that she'd love to do more roleplaying, and anyone is welcome to drop by her IRC channel #ElHazardRPG at irc.esper.net
« Last Edit: November 14, 2003, 02:37:24 pm by spanner » Logged

The 1337 poster
Dimension Traveler
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Waaaa~~~aah! What is this..???? ~Help...

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« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2003, 02:15:12 pm »

*chuckles* quite funny, although the script format makes it really really hard to read ^^'

Well, I can't participate in it anyway, my fav char is taken, and my time is wrong. Shush. ^^

Evil is about being nice!

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Bugrom Forces
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« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2003, 04:45:09 pm »

 ^^; Couldn't do myself either i don't have IRC

Funny RP though very good

"I know that laugh and it's not a happy one....."

Demon God(ess)
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Girls, Cars &amp; Loud Guitars

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« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2003, 09:26:22 pm »

Heh heh, that was funny. I was picturing in my head, the whole time, what it would have looked like as a doujinshi.

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Lord God Jinnai
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« Reply #4 on: November 15, 2003, 06:00:51 am »

Grrrr... that stupid inept Kalia! The nerve! Daring to interpose herself between me and my destiny as the glorious ruler of all El-Hazard!

Thankfully, my brilliant mind and unwavering intellect has managed to destroy the foul beast. Good work, Spanner. You have truly done me proud.

Now go clean the toilets.

I Care Deep
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now he dead from coke

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« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2003, 04:35:55 pm »

w00t. But you just know that Iffy'd think her Master's love for Makoto was sweet, thereby infuriating him greatly in the process.

Ah, le jeune amour. <3

Now go clean the toilets.

*whisper* Watch out for the ones on the second floor when you're on the first. Those pipes ain't what they used to be. Nyahar! *marches off gleefully*

Sexpot. Despot. Jinnai.
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