The two Ifuritas faced each other, high in the air above the main outdoors set of the royal palace, and the Floristica palace-town. The Eye of God hung in the sky behind them, in much the same way that a brick doesn't.
OVA-Ifurita had flung TV-Ifurita away from herself, through the air. She brandished her key-staff in a challenge to TV-Ifurita, and spoke in a flat cold voice worthy of the grim reaper himself.
"Now. We fight. To the death."
TV-Ifurita smiled nervously. "Um... well... we can't, actually. This is out-of-context fourth-wall-breaking fan fiction, and you can't really kill a character in--"
"TO THE DEATH!!" OVA-Ifurita shrieked.
TV-Ifurita hung her head and sighed. "Oh, alright. But just for a few minutes, okay? I'm supposed to report to wardrobe after my break, and I'll get in trouble if--"
"AAAAAAAAUGH!!" OVA-Ifurita let out a bloodcurdling scream, and she charged and fired her key-staff at the same time.
TV-Ifurita easily dodged both the zap and OVA-Ifurita's body. She bit her lip, as her hair blew in the wind thrown up by the attack. "Okay. I guess I'm supposed to counter-attack now..."
She swung up her own key-staff, and aimed it at OVA-Ifurita, and set her face in determination, and fired.
Of course, she was holding her key-staff backwards.
Her zap struck the Eye of God.
After his morning meeting with OVA-Ifurita, the [Alternative World TV series] producer had arranged a hasty meeting with a representative of the TV series production's insurance company.
"Look," the representative was saying, "this policy covers acts of God, but it doesn't cover acts of demon gods! Now--"
The representative was cut off by the blast of a massive explosion, followed by the horrific sound of a huge metal structure tearing into several pieces and falling to earth.
The representative panicked. "WHAT was THAT!?"
The producer held his face in his hands and groaned. "That would be the sound of my career, going down in flames..."
OVA-Ifurita's face fell, in complete, utter, and mind-numbing disbelief. Then she screamed at TV-Ifurita.
"YOU!?-- YOU!?--
"YOU BROKE THE EYE OF GOD!?"
TV-Ifurita gulped. "Oops..."
You do great work, Mr. What. I especially liked your stories "Ifurita Amuck" and "Hive Madness." Not only are you a great El Hazard fanfic writer, but you're also a Doctor Who fan! Always a winning combination, I say!
For your contributions to the online El Hazard community, I promise to make you the Viceroy of Detroit once I take over the world. No need to thank me, your service is thanks enough for my generosity.
"There is nothing more...
creepy... than being the main character in a fan fiction written
by some computer programmer in his thirties, with too much free
time on his hands..."
oh, for future fic:
You'd note from the series that tv Ifreeta can't fly without her staff.....
so would you mind writing a Kiki/Iffy fanfic? ...... Alright, never mind
How long did it take u to finish btw??? (I'd commit seppuku if you answer less than a day)
as going back to the actual topic:
I think TV Ifreeta would "beat" OVA Ifurita with her good heart, similar to the way Makoto "conquered" and released OVA Ifurita
Sorry, but who's Kiki, again? Sorry if you already said.
Sorry, but who's Kiki, again? Sorry if you already said.
Kiki's Delivery Service.
TV-Ifurita: (makes big sad shiny eyes) Oneesan no hidoi!