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Author Topic: Some writing I've done...  (Read 4372 times)
Triple_R
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« on: March 21, 2006, 09:57:49 am »

I've not completed "Episode 1" yet of my "El Hazard:New World" story, but I've finished the first few scenes. It reads like a mixture of a fan fic, and a script. Anyway, it's a VERY rough draft, but I'd like to get some immediate feedback. Keep in mind that it's 30 years into the future (so Mr. Fujisawa, and Miz, are both well up there in years, and they now have a son named Masato). Tell me what you all think! :)


El Hazard: The New World

Episode 1

     The air was crisp, clean, and thin. Small cool patches of hazy clouds drifted in the air. A nice mountain path, running adjacent to the mountain, arched upwards at a small angle. Suddenly, a man in his sixties, but very physically fit for his age, came running up that path. He was breathing a little bit heavily, and came to a stop. Wiping a bit of sweat from off his brow, the silver haired sinewy man, dressed in jogging pants, a white shirt, and a leather coat, grabbed a bottle that was at his waist. Taking a quick swig from the bottle, the man gave a joyous shout.

Masamichi Fujisawa: Yeah, this is the life! There's nothing like climbing this beauty of a mountain. Mount Muldoon is always a great challenge!

After standing with a nice smile on his angular face, the old sensei slowly turned around, and quickly looked about. His travelling companion was nowhere to be found.

Masamichi Fujisawa: Miz? Where are you, Miz?! Hurry up, will 'ya!

After looking around a bit more, but not seeing her anywhere, Mr. Fujisawa became a bit concerned.

Masamichi Fujisawa: Miz? Are you Ok? Speak to me, Miz!

Finally, Miz Mishtal, also in her senior years, with a few wrinkles on her face, and greyish blue hair, and wearing a dress much like the one she wore in her younger days, begin to slowly walk around the turn in the path, to come to where Mr. Fujisawa was. She was clearly out of breath.

Miz Mishtal: Oh, Masamichi... *huff*... why do we have to go on these... *puff*... so strenuating mountain climbing journey's all the time?!

Masamichi Fujisawa: Humph. Given that you used to be a Priestess of Mount Muldoon, I'm surprised that it's that hard for you to conquer it!

Miz Mishtal: Well, honey, I'm not as young as I used to be!

Masamichi Fujisawa (with a smile): Yeah... but I'm no spring chicken, either. Still, Miz, I'm glad that you came along.

Miz Mishtal (with a sympathetic smile): I couldn't let you go kill yourself on one of these suicidal journeys alone, could I? I wouldn't be much of a wife, then.

Masamichi Fujisawa: Heh. I still remember when Londs told Makoto and me that this mountain meant certain death. Well, I guess he was wrong about that!

This gave Miz Mishtal a little idea.

Miz Mishtal (touching her head like she was about to faint), and sauntering over to Mr. Fujisawa): I'm not so sure about thaaaaaaatttt...

Miz Mishtal then collapses... very convienantly into Mr. Fujisawa's arms.

"Whoa, Miz, are you alright?" asked a concerned Mr. Fujisawa, sitting down, and holding her in his arms

Miz Mishtal (with a playful grin, and one eye opened): I'll be fine... as long as you're holding me in your arms, my Prince Charming.

Mr. Fujisawa (with a playful smile): Oh, this is one of your nice romantic games again, eh? I don't mind as much as I used to, you know.

Miz Mishtal and Mr. Fujisawa than come face to face, with her staring up at his face, and him staring down at hers.

Miz Mishtal: I know, sweetie... now give me a kiss.

With a shadowed profile of each person's face, and puckered lips, the two begin to slowly move their heads together to make a kiss. However, they certainly heard a sound...

?: Wfpidsvjvpa

Mr. Fujisawa (breaking away from the kiss): What's that sound?

Miz Mishtal: *Sigh* I don't hear anything. Are you just trying to avoid kissing me?

?: Wjpogsagpoia!

Mr. Fujisawa: Of course not! And there is that sound again. Do you hear it, Miz?

Miz Mishtal (starting to take the sound seriously): Yeah, I do. What could it be, Masamichi?

?: Whisinospooidsfg!

Mr. Fujisawa: It sounds... it sounds like bugrum!

Miz Mishtal: Bugrum? Here?! Why, bugrum haven't been on this side of the River of God in twenty years!

Both Mr. Fujisawa, and Miz Mishtal came to their feet, and begin looking around.

Mr. Fujisawa: Still... I'm almost positive that's bugrum!

Suddenly, the sound of bugrum feet moving quickly upon the ground could be heard.

Miz Mishtal (becoming frightened): Oh, dear, you're right... it is bugrum!

Mr. Fujisawa: Stay calm, Miz, I'll... *hic*... stop them.

Miz Mishtal: Oh no, you've been drinking too! You won't be able to stop them!

Mr. Fujisawa: Now, don't get ahead of... *hic*... of yourself here. I'm Masa *hic* chi Fujisawa. I can handle it!

Suddenly, large looming bugrum-esque shadows cascade over both Mr. Fujisawa, and Miz Mishtal. There's a close up of their faces, as you hear a leaping sound, more bugrum shouts, and Mr. Fujisawa and Miz Mishtal shouting/screaming in horror!


Cue the credits...


We come to a nice, serence clearing in the forest. A nice, pristine Canadian log cabin is almost completed, but still under construction. The grass is nice, and lush, but also a bit moist. The sounds of an axe cutting into wood, and of a young man grunting can be heard. Camera slowly zooms across the scene of the cabin, with several small animals scurrying about the cabin. Finally, you hear the sound of "timber!" Camera then zooms to the secene of the tree falling, and then focuses on the face of a young man, in his late teens, with brown hair, smoking a cigarette, and wearing a nice blue outfit of sorts (similiar to Galus' from the original El Hazard OVA).

Masato Fujisawa (wiping the sweat off of his forehead): *Whew*. Dad certainly keeps me busy making cabins like this. I would have loved to have gone on that mountain trip with him and mom, but mom wanted to take the advantage of having "quality time alone" with dad, so I was left here chopping down trees, and chopping up wood. I hope that they're having a good time, though.

Masato then slowly lowers himself to the ground below, and stretches out on the grass, with his hands behind his head, looking up to the sky above.

Masato: This place sure is beautiful... and peaceful.

We see the nice blue sky above, with a few clouds passing by, that Masato sees.

Masato (rolling over to his side, facing the camera): Too peaceful, though. I need adventure! I hate just sitting around, and doing stupid, little chores like this.

Masato (close up on his face): Hhhmmm... I wonder what Watanabe is up to. He told me that he was going to try out a new experiment at a nearby lake. Maybe I should go check it out.

We now come to the lakeside, and a young boy, wearing a student uniform, with dark hair, fiddling with some sort of mechanism in his hands.

Watanabe: Electrical energy is hard to come by, here in El Hazard, but by harnassing hydroelectric sources, and then compressing the energy into small capsules, we at least have batteries that can charge remote controls like this one!
If I can get this new invention working, it could be really useful in providing another nice, clean environmentally-friendly method of locomotion for El Hazard!

Watanabe quietly fiddles at the control, and is clearly peering outwards at the large body of water in front of him. He has a smile on his face, and pumps one fist into the air.

Watanabe: Yes, it's working! It's actually working!

The sound of shuffling branches, and leaves, could be heard as Masato walked up from behind Watanabe, to join him at the sandy lakeside.

Masato: What's working?

Watanabe (turning his head to greet Masato): Oh hey, Masato. It's just this new invention I'm trying out.

Masato: Your new invention?

Watanabe: Yeah... let me bring it closer in, so you can take a look at it.

Short moment of both of them peering out at the lake, while Watanabe continues to fiddle with the controls.

Masato's mouth opens in awe at what he now sees, and the cigarette almost falls out of his mouth.

Masato: Wow! You made... that!

On the "that" we get a quick zoom over the scene of a very tall metallic boat, like a minaturized version of a steamliner.

Watanabe: Well, I only designed it. I needed the help of Faura Flora, and Midori, to actually make it.

Masato (with a smile, and arms outstretched): Awesome! You've done good, Watanabe! Could we actually take that boat for a ride down the river?

Watanabe: Well... I'm not so sure if that's a good idea, Masato. It may be harder for me to control if I'm actually on it.

Masato: Oh, come on! Where's your spirit for adventure?! You have this lovely little longliner, and you're just going to let it sit in the bay? Let's take it for a ride!

Watanabe (with his eyes closed, rubbing his hair, and a nervous look): Well, if you insist...

Masato (grabbing Watanabe's arm, draggin Watanabe, and jumping unto the boat): Great! Let's go...

Watanabe: Whooaaaa...! Be careful!

The two teenagers are now on the boat, and with Watanabe continuing to fiddle with the controls, you hear a large humming sound, a large swoosh of water, and the boat starting to turn, and head out of the lake, and into the river.
The sound of humming motors, and parting water, continues to be heard in the background. A gleeful Masato lounges on the boat's railing, while sitting on the deck. Watanabe is facing forward, steering the ship with his remote control. After a few silent moments, the two begin talking again.

Masato: Aahhhhh... now this is what I call fun! What I wouldn't give for your inventive talents, Watanabe!

Watanabe (with a smile): Hey, I wouldn't mind having your strength!

Masato: Yeah... but it means I have to cut back on drinking, and smoking. What good is life if you can't get a nice buzz, or high, once in a while?

Watanabe: Well, making inventions like this one, is what gives me a 'high', Masato. So does using them!

Masato: I'm with you there, bud! Do you mind if I do some fishing? I actually brought a fishing rod with me just in case.

Watanabe: Go right ahead. We're doing fine!

With that, the sound of a "ploop!" as a hook connected to a large ball and line dips into the river. Watanabe makes special care to steer the boat around a rock in the middle of the river, and is beaming with pride. About a minute or so passes, and...

Masato: Yeah, I got one....!

Masato reels in a nice, red fish, and holds it in his open palm, after taking if off the hook.

Watanabe: Oh uh! I think that we might have trouble!

Masato (turning his head to look towards Watanabe): Huh? What's the problem?

In his distraction, the fish managed to leap off of his hand, and plop back into the river.

Masato: Oh shit! Look at what you made me do, Watanabe. The fish got away!

Watanabe: I don't think that's our biggest problem, Masato. Look!

Masato stands up, and moves towards Watanabe.

Masato: Holy Eye of God! It's a waterfall! Turn us around!

Watanabe: I... I can't! the stream is too strong!

For the second time today, Masato opens his mouth up wide in shock. This time, the cigarette falls out.

Masato takes hold of Watanabe by the lapels of his student jacket: Watanabe... get us out of here! We're not going down that waterfall!

By now, the large rush of water coming from the waterfall can be heard.

Watanabe: Masato... I can't stop it! I told you that this could be dangerous!

The boat begins to swerve violently, and crash against small rocks, sending both Masato and Watanabe reeling from one side of the boat to the other! They make several shouts, and groans.

Finally, the boat comes to the edge of the waterfall, and it goes over! Masato, and Watanabe, begin to shout loudly in horror!
« Last Edit: March 24, 2006, 09:37:53 am by triple_r » Logged
Triple_R
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« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2006, 10:41:01 am »

Just an update: I'm a little busy with work right now, but I hope to put up a continuation in a day, or two.
Maybe later today.
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Triple_R
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« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2006, 09:48:23 am »

Episode 1 (Cont'd)

After the boat crashes, we come to a picturesque scene of Floristica, on a nice beautiful day with a clear blue sky. We here the background noises of a young man shouting "delicious!". We then come to a scene of a man dressed in a garish white jumpsuit of sorts, with a short blue cape, and numerous trussels. He is scarfing down a seven course meal, and we begin with him sitting down at a royal table, and quickly moving food into his mouth.

Prince Guile: This food is absolutely scrumptious! The way it pleases the palate... it is to die for! It brings me to a culinary heaven of angelic fruits and brilliantly shining vegetable dishes!

Kasumi (beaming with eyes closed, and standing behind Prince Guile): I'm glad that you approve of my cooking, my Prince!

Prince Guile: Aahhhh... my dear, sweet Kasumi... I would be lost with out your artisty of the stove! Wouldn't you agree, Prince Keldor?

Prince Keldor (also sitting at the table, and eating, though at a slower pace): Why, of couse, Prince Guile... nothing compares to the fine cousine of Rashtaria!

Kasumi releases a pleased giggle. In the room are also four armed guards standing at attention, each at one of four doors. This is the dining room of the royal palace, and Prince Keldor is a visiting dignitary coming to meet with the elected Prince of all of Rashtaria, Prince Guile.

Prince Guile (after softly patting his face with a napkin): Now, my dearest friend Keldor, let us put aside the continued consumption of this fine meal, so as to fully savor its delightful juices over time. Right now, let us discuss important business.

Prince Keldor (becoming a bit nervous): Of course. I am here strictly by your request.

Prince Guile: I am wounded by your words, my dear ally. Surely you would have come to see me in time even with out a formal request?

Prince Keldor (becoming increasingly nervous, and flinching somewhat): I... I simply meant that I would not want to intrude on you with out an invitation, your Highness.

Prince Guile (with a wide smile, making deep eye contact with Prince Keldor, and leaning over the table on his folded arms): Oh quit that! You are always welcomed in my home, Keldor. Consider yourself a perpetual invitee of the ruling leader of Rashtaria!

Prince Keldor (with some beads of nervous sweat now showing on his brow): Of... of course, my liege! I am deeply honoured by such an... unique invitation.

Prince Guile: Please... stop being so formal! I see a beautiful friendship for the two of us!

Prince Keldor groans beneath his breath at this words.

Prince Guile (continuing on): But alas... I can see how a stuffy royal dining room could quelch the flaming passions of friendship. To overcome the inhibitions caused by them, you simply must join me for a dip in the newly re-desinged royal hot baths!

Prince Keldor was certainly a strong, and vibrant, young man, in great physical fitness. Wearing a dashing red and blue outfit, he had managed to gain the... affections... of Prince Guile. However, Prince Keldor's sexual tastes was different than that of Guile's, leading to much discomfort. Discomfort that would be allieviated with the knocking on a door.

Prince Guile: Hhmmmm? Who is there? Who is intruding on my most important meeting with Prince Keldor?!

Rosethorn: Please excuse the intrusion, my Master. It is your personal guard, Rosethorn. An emergency of sorts has come up, and we have two very important people wanting to meet with you immediately.

Prince Guile: But my meal! My meeting with Prince Keldor! Can't this wait?!

Rosethorn: It is quite the emergency, sir.

Price Guile: *Sigh* Very well. I'll meet these two people in the Conference Chamber. Please forgive this most untimely of events, dear Keldor.

Prince Keldor (secretly breathing a proverbial sigh of relif): Not at all, Prince Guile. You have your royal duties after all.

Rosethorn stands tall over the shorter Prince Guile, as well as over Prince Keldor. Her hair is held up, and is a dark purple. She carries a sicle of sorts, though it has energy discharge capabilities. Her outfit is colourful, and lives up to her name. With her beginning to escort Prince Guile into the Conference Chamber, the camera focuses on the faces of those waiting to meet with the Prince. It is none other than Miz Mishtal, and the Water Priestess Galoria!

Galoria, with a slight bow: Prince Guile, we thank you for granting us a quick, and almost immediate, audience.

Prince Guile (none too pleased): Yes, well, I suppose such unwanted interruptions are part of my royal duties. Anyway, let's get on with it, please.

Galoria: It would probably be best if the former Water Priestess, Miz Mishtal, explained...

Miz Mishtal (clearly emotionally shaken): Yes, well, here's the story...

The scene then quickly changes to that of a sandy beach. Lying upon that sand is the outstrecthed, and unconscious body, of Watanabe. With a few moans, the young man begins to come to...

Watanabe (rubbing his hurting head, while slowly coming to his feet): Uunnnhhhh... what happenned? Oh, yeah, now I remember. Masato, and I went on a trip on that new boat... the SS Shayla Shayla. And we went over a waterfall. *Sigh* I really wish that Masato could learn to relax, and not go on dangerous adventures.

Watanabe than began to move around, looking for his friend.

Watanabe: Speaking of Masato, where is he?

Watanbe then takes note of some footprints left in the sand. Footprints leading into a forest path at the other edge of the beach.

Watanabe: Those most be Masato's footprints. I better follow after them.

Watanabe then manuevers slowly through the winding forest path, shouting out "Masato!" once ever few seconds. Eventually, he finds a hand clamp over his mouth.

Masato (in a loud whisper): Quiet! You'll give us away if you keep that shouting up. Come over here!

Masato then begins to lead Watanabe further into the forest.

Watanabe (in a hushed tone): Are you sure that this is smart, Masato? Shouldn't we be trying to get back to where you were making that cabin? We wouldn't want to worry your parents...

Masato (in a loud whisper): Will you please get some courage, and initiative?! Besides, you have to see this!

Finally, Masato, and Watanabe, come to the edge of the forest path, which is actually positioned over a steep hill.

Masato (in hushed tones): Now, put some camoflauge in front of your face, lie on your stomache next to me, and look at the scene down in that small valley clearing.

Peering from over the edge of the clift, Masato and Watanabe could scout out several colourful red tents in a circle formation in the valley below. In the middle of the circumference of tents was one noticably larger tent, and also a different colour (blue instead of red).

Watanabe (in a whisper): So? There's some people down there. Big deal.

Masato (in a whispter): No. Not people.... bugrum!

Watanabe (in a whisper): Bugrum?!

Masato (in a whisper): Yeah, bugrum! Just keep watching, and listening.

What was definitely bugrum like chatter could be heard. A few bugrum soldiers were also moving around, from tent to tent.

Watanabe (in a whisper): Wow, you're right! We should report this back to your parents!

Masato (in a whisper): No way. Let's scope things out a bit more. This could be interesting! I can't remember ever seeing a bugrum before, so this is exciting!

In the large, middle tent, an important conference was underway. A conference lead by the new unquestioned leader of the Bugrum Empire... Sakura. A fairly tall woman, she had dark red hair, nicely flowing wings on her back, and white skin. She wore black leather leggins that reached up to her thighs, as well as fine leather gloves that reached almost to her elbows. She also had on a blood red full-body bikini of sorts, but one that stretched out to cover her shoulders. She crouched over a table with a map on it, with four large bugrum soldiers sitting around that table.

Sakura: Excellent job! You have all completed your mission of making a map of this area for us to work with. You are all to be commended for that. Now, however, it is on to more serious business. Washu... given what we have learned from our reconaissance, do you think that we could conquer this area with out alerting any of our most powerful opposition?

Washu: Wosiohgihiodhoipg.

Sakura (walking about): Oh, that's what you always say. How about you, Sammy?

Sammy: Whusdovfhigosdogis.

Sakura: *Sigh* Doesn't anybody have an original idea? We've been re-building the Bugrum Empire for almost two decades now! Do none of you have enough confidance in our work so as to think that we can manage to take this measly morsel of territory?

Washu: Wigodsgposdgjiosdopij.

Sakura: What?! Don't you dare bring that up! Things will be different this time. We now know how subversive, vile, and trecherous, the enemy can be.

Suddenly, the sound of a large rock hitting the ground could be heard.

Sakura (swinging her head towards where the sound was coming from): Huh? What's that? Let's investiage this matter immediately!

Sakura then strides confidantly out of the central tent, with four bugrum soldiers (including Washu and Sammy) behind her. They then move beyond the circumference of blue tents, and look about to see what could have caused that sound.

Sakura: Come on! Where did tha noise come from? I just know that it's coming from some threat poised against me!

The noise had come from a rock coming loose from the pressure of Watanabe and Masato squirming for better position on the edge of the cliff. They now kept deadly silent to avoid Sakura, or her bugrum soldiers, noticing them. However, a strong gust of wind pushed aside their chosen camoflague, revealing them to Sakura, and the bugrum soldiers below. For a long, tense moment, there was simply eye contact between the two of them, and the bugrum. Finally, Sakura ended that long tense moment.

Sakura: What the hell are you all waiting for?! Get them! Get those Alliance spies!

Numerous bugrum: Wjpoiopopjdsog!!!

Masato: Holy shit! We have to get running! Now!!

With that, Watanabe and Masato started to sprint away as fast as they could, with the bugrum in hot pursuit.
« Last Edit: March 23, 2006, 10:04:29 am by triple_r » Logged
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« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2006, 09:25:04 am »

Episode 1 (Cont'd)

Masato and Watanabe begin sprinting through the forest path as fast as they could run, to avoid being caught by the Bugrum. Masato was in better physical shape than Watanabe, so the young inventor was the first one to begin breathing heavily, and asking if this was the best course of action.

Watanabe: Masato... *huff*... is this really a good idea? Where are we ... *puff*... going to go to, even if we get back to the beach?

Masato (slowing down a bit to make conversation with Watanabe): We'll just have to keep running until we reach civilization.

Watanabe: But that could take forever!

Masato: Well, what do you suggest?! That we stand here, and fight the bugrum? We're massively outnumberred!

Watanabe: *Sigh* I guess that you're right. Let's keep... Aaahhhh!!!

Before Watanabe had a chance to finish his thought, a large bugrum leapt from seemingly out of the sky, and directly in front of them, landing on the ground with a crouch.  Masato, and Watanabe, slowly backed away from the bugrum, but other bugrum soldiers began to appear from out of various crevices in the tree walls, and from directly behind them. In no time at all, they found themselves surrounded.

Watanabe (with his back firmly against Masato's back, with both of them trying to stay out of arm's reach of all the bugrum): Oh man... what are we going to do now?!

Masato: I guess that I'll have to take you up on that idea of your's...

With that, Masato pulled away from Watanabe, made a very quick run, and...

Masato: FUJISAWA KICK!!!

Masato let loose with a furiously fast, and overwhelming, flying jump kick, sending three bugrum absolutely reeling from the impact.

Masato: FUJISAWA PUNCH!!!

Masato then let loose with an explosive pulled punch, sending three more bugrum soldiers flying from the impact. A few more attacks from Masato saw a dozen more bugrum get knocked violently aside.

Watanabe (with his spirits raised considerably): Wow! You're just as good a warrior as your dad is! Let me try to help out!

Watanabe then threw a punch at a relatively stationary bugrum soldier that was moving slowly towards him. The blow had no effect.

Watanabe (with a nervous twictch, and realizing he was physically outmatched here): Uummm... sorry about that... I'll just be leaving now...

Unknown bugrum soldier (angrily): Whoiidsongsd!!!

The bugrum soldier made a fierce leaping attack at Watanabe!

Watanabe: Aaaahhhh!!!!

However, with a nice still action scene, we see Masato catch this bugrum soldier in midair with another flying jump kick. The kick sent the bugrum soldier flying into the stratosphere, and out of sight into the horizon.

Watanabe: Phew! Thanks, Masato.

Masato: You better leave the fighting to me, bud.

However, with those words, Masato found that two bugrum soldiers had dived at his feet, and were holding them in place. Watanabe backed away to allow Masato to his thing, but before Masato could, another two bugrum soldiers joined the first two. In quick succession, Masato found himself dogpiled by what looked like two dozen bugrum soldiers!

Short quick camera movement over to a horrified Watanabe left speechless. Then...

With great explosive power, all of the bugrum soldiers that had dogpiled Masato just went flying, as Masato responded to the massive assault with an unbelievably explosive uppercut!!!

Masato (breathing heavily from how draining that last attack was): Well... *huff* that looks like... *puff* that's all of them.

Sakura's voice (she's off-camera): Unfortunetly for you, it's not.

Masato, now in a slight crouching position, turns his head to see Sakura lightly surrounded by a few bugrum, about thirty feet away from him down the forest path leading to the cliff.

Masato (somewhat bluffing): Oh come on! You're beat! Accept it!

Sakura (with a slight evil grin, and hands at her hips): I'll never accept defeat. However, you're definitely his son, so I'll have to tread very carefully with you. However, your father never had to deal with a Bugrum Air Division that could drop paralyzing smoke bombs...

Masato (somewhat startled): Paralyzing smoke bombs?!

Sakura laughs maniacally at Masato's surprise, while her and her entourage slowly back away. Then, we hear a large buzzing sound from overhead. Several smaller flying bugrum unleash a large volley of paralyzing smoke bombs. Masato, and Watanabe, throw their arms up in the air in a defensive stance, but the move is futile. They begin coughing and wheezing, but soon their is no noise... as they are also paralyzed.

Once the smoke clears, Sakura makes some more commands to her troops.

Sakura (with a wider evil grin): Now, my legions, gather them up, tie them up, and bring them to our prisoner tent!

Sakura (after turning to walk back to the bugrum encampment, but remembering something important): Oh, and don't forget to force down a few bottles of wine into the throat of the stronger one. He's a fine catch that I'm not going to let get away. Ha ha ha ha!!!

Meanwhile, we come back to the Conference Chamber in the Royal Palace of Floristica...

Prince Guile (in shock): Masamichi Fujisawa, a national hero no less, has been abducted?! How ghastly!

Miz Mishtal (very sadly): Yes, it certainly is. We have to do something! We need you to send out Rashtaria's forces to try to find him, and save him.

Prince Guile: Of course! I will have my own personal guard Rosethorn gather together fully one half of my forces, and have them scower the countryside until we find, and rescue, this great hero! Let the people know that Rashtaria will not turn away from times of great need! We will save the adorable Mr. Fujisawa, and embrace him tightly with our love!

With that last sentence, Prince Guile hugged himself as a symbolic gesture.

Galoria (looking nervous, along with everybody in the room other than Prince Guile): Yeah... of course. Anyway, while rescuing Mr. Fujisawa is our most pressing, and immediate, concern, there is another issue at play here.

Prince Guile: Yes? Go on.

Galoria: Going by Miz's own testimony, it sounds like the bugrum may be planning a new military offensive. At the very least, it appears that they have crossed over the River of God!

Prince Guile (with a look of horror): Eewwww! Those ugly, icky bugs! Get them away... get them all!

Prince Guile symbolicly flails his arms in the arm in a somewhat effeminate fashion, as though he was swatting away disgusting insects.

Rosethorn: I take it, then, that you want us to search for a bugrum encampment?

Prince Guile (rubbing his chin thoughtfully): Most certainly! I will not have our glorious Rashtaria infected by bugs! Instead of only half of my forces, I want all of my forces out there. Give the signal to search the countryside at once! Let no leaf be left unturned, and let no house be unchecked, until we are rid of the bugrum menace, and have rescued Mr. Fujisawa!

Miz (a bit heartened by these words): Thank you, Prince Guile. This means a great deal to me!

Prince Guile: Ridding our fair havens of gross bugs means a great deal to me as well, my dear!

Galoria: I'll gather the other two Priestesses at once. Thank you, Prince Guile.

Prince Keldor (finally entering the scene): Please forgive my eavesdropping, but I could not allow such a tone of alaram to go unheard by myself. Having overheard almost everything, I guess that I should be heading back to my own smaller kingdom within the broader alliance. I'll have to prepare my people for potential hostilities from the bugrum.

Prince Guile (very sweetly): I'll be missing you...

Prince Keldor (quick to exit the scene): The feeling... is mutual. Good bye.

Miz Mishtal (to Galoria): Will we be able to save Masamichi?

Galoria (with a smile): Don't worry. As you yourself no doubt know, protecting innocent people is one of the highest callings of the Priestesses. We'll find a way, I'm sure.

With that, we exit this scene.
-----------------------------------------


I hope to have the final scene(s) of Episode 1 up later today, tomorrow, or on Sunday. I'd love to hear comments on what's been wrote thus far! :)
« Last Edit: March 24, 2006, 09:28:55 am by triple_r » Logged
Triple_R
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« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2006, 10:03:41 am »

Episode 1 (Con'td)

A groaning Watanabe slowly wakes up, recovering from a nasty KO for the second time in one day. His hands are tied behind his back, and his legs are tied together as well. He notices a similiarily tied up Masato sitting next to him. Looking at Masato, he notices that Masato is mumbling a great deal under his breath, and is clearly drunk. The two of them are sitting in a tent with light coming from a lamp providing some nice illumination.

Watanabe: Oh, great. He's drunk. We'll never get out of here now! I don't want to be a bugrum prisoner. I don't want to be locked up for life!

At the sound of Watanabe's voice, a bugrum guard peers into the tent.

Bugrum guard (after leaving the tent again): Wiojefdgjijopds!

Watanabe: What is he saying, I wonder? I have to find a way out of here in case it's nothing good...

Watanabe thoroughly scans over the tent, looking for some sharp object that he could rub the binding robes against in order to break free. Much to his dismay, he could catch sight of no such object.

Sakura (from outside the tent): They're awake, and secure?

Bugrum guard (also from outside the tent): Wiojdoispgoijs!

Sakura (from outside the tent): Excellent. Time to interrogate these spies...

Watanabe didn't like the sound of that, and made a nervous gulp. Then, Sakura walked in. From his sitting position, Watanabe sizes her up, from her feet to her head (camera slowly zooms over her). Watanabe - this being the first time he saw her close up -  is actually wowed by her beauty, and sex appeal, and briefly takes leave of his fear.

Watanabe (under his breath): Wow... she's beautiful.

Sakura (mildly flushed at these words, but maintaing composure and grinning): Yes, I am. However, flattery will get you nowhere, my prisoner.

Watanabe remains silent as Sakura paces the tent.

Sakura: I trust that you know why I'm here?

Watanabe: Uummm... no. Why are you?

Sakura (bending down to make tense eye contact with Watanabe): Don't play coy with me, kid. We both know that you're a spy sent from the Alliance to see what my people are up to! I have clearly underestimated Rashtarian reconassiance... I never throught that you would become aware of our presence on this side of the River of God so soon. Nonetheless, I will be able to turn this to my advantage, as you will now provide me with strategic intelligence!

Watanabe: I'm not a spy for anybody! My friend, and I, got knocked out while going over a waterfall, and eventually just stumbled upon your camp.

Sakura (standing up straight, and growing a bit angry): A likely story. Do you honestly take me as fool enough to believe it? If you were just some innocent kid who stumbled across our encampment, why were you spying on us, and trying to hide yourselves with camoflague?

Watanabe: Well... um...

Sakura (raising an eyebrow): Yes?

Watanabe: Well, you see, we've never seen... umm... your people before, so...

Sakura (smacking her head in frustration): *Sigh* You're good at spying, kid, but you're not good at telling stories, that's for sure.

Watanabe (getting desperate): It's not a story! It's the truth!

Masato (in a drunken stupor): You tell 'er, Wa..tana...be. *Hic* Don't tell her that we're spieeesssss... *Hic* We have to defend the great Rashtaria after all! Ha ha ha ha!!!

Watanabe (in anger): Masato! Shut up!

Sakura: Ha ha! So you're own ally gives you away! Now, boy, I will tolerate no more evasion. Who sent you? How many soldiers are currently in Rashtaria's army? Where did you come from, exactly? How nearby are the Priestesses?

Watanabe (starting to get angry himself): How the heck am I supposed to know? Stop this nonsense now, Sakura. Let Masato, and I, go! What you're doing here is wrong. Masato, and I, aren't spies!

Sakura (losing control, and screaming violently while flailing about and making gestures like a madman): Ggrrrrrrrr.... Yes, you are! You are a spy of the Alliance! Answer all of my questions! NOW, you human scum! Answer them, or I'll feed your friend to my hungry legions!

Watanabe was left horrified, and speechless, at this verbal barrage. Thankfully, the scene was broken up by the sound of nearby fighting.

Sakura (becoming calm again, turning her head sideways, and speaking to herself): Hhmmm... What's that? Has this spy lead Rashtaria to my camp?!

We then flash over to a scene of bugrums fighting against... the Water Priestess Galoria, and the Fire Priestess Faura Flora! Galoria releases a echoing battle cry while in an angelic pose, and with the thrust of her right arm outwards, a powerfrul stream of water knocks back several bugrum soldiers. With a joyful and vengeful grin, the mystical charms on Faura Flora's outfit lights up, and the orange-haired, dark toned vixen releases several blasts of fire, forcing back numerous bugrum soldiers! Sakura exits out of the tent, with a scene of carnage all about her. A few of the tents are on fire, and a few bugrum are seen dispearsing in fear all around her.

Sakura (to herself): Dammit! It's a surprise attack from two of the Priestesses! My people aren't ready for this yet. They're too spooked, and unprepared, to pull off the needed Mount Fuji manuever right now.

Sakura (shouting as loud as she can, and to all the bugrum soldiers): Compose yourselves, and retreat to our sailing vessels! Retreat!

Camera then zooms over to a scene of Galoria, and Faura Flora, descending unto a rocky perch overlooking the encampment.

Faura Flora: They're getting away! We have to go after them!

Galoria: No, we can't risk any more collaterol damage. Our immediate mission is to rescue Mr. Fujisawa. We can't risk one of our attacks accidentally killing him, or any other captive of the Bugrum Empire.

Faura Flora (in dejection): Yeah, I guess that you're right. I hate just letting them get away though.

Galoria: There will be another day, I'm sure.

Back within the tent, Watanabe was sitting, a bit stunned.

Watanabe: Wow, I wonder what all that commotion is? Are we getting rescued?

? (from outside the tent, and with happiness): Yep, that's right!

The holder of this voice then turns back the flap on the tent to reveal herself.

Watanabe: Wow, it's the Wind Priestess, Midori!

Midori (with a big smile): Hmm-hmm! I didn't know that they had captured you too, Watanabe! Is that... Masato Fujisawa with you?

Watanabe: Yeah, it is. He's been drugged by the bugrum!

Midori: Well, I'll untie you first, and then you help him out of the tent.

With the sound of crackling fire, and trees falling from being burned, all around them, the untied Watanabe slowly leads a mumbling and dopey Masato out of the tent, while being lead by Midori. Midori then flexes her muscles a bit, and a great gust of wind carries them above the scene, and up to where Faura Flora, and Galoria are waiting.

Galoria: Good job, Midori!

Faura Flora: Yeah, but where's Mr. Fujisawa?

Watanabe: Mr. Fujisawa? Do you mean Masato's dad?

Midori: Yes, that's right. Did you see him anywhere?

Watanabe: Ummmm... no, why?

Faura Flora: Blast it! I knew that we should have went after the bugrum! They've managed to get away with Mr. Fujisawa!

Galoria: *Sigh* I was hoping that Mr. Fujisawa would be in one of those tents. I never thought that the bugrum would be able to kidnap Watanabe, and two superstrong humans, like that!

Faura Flora: Yeah, they're a serious threat alright. A threat that's going to need a good burning!

Midori: I guess that we better get heading back to Prince Guile, and Miz, at the palace.

Watanabe: We're going to the palace in Floristica? Cool!

Midori: That's right, Watanabe. Their should be enough room on the large flying vessel that we were given. All aborad for Floristica.

Masato (still in a drunken stupor): Can I take a washroom break first? I feel like I'm going to hurl!

Everybody else couldn't help but to laugh in unison over the day's events. Camera then fades off into the sunset.

Episode One ends.
----------------------------------

So, what did you all think of Episode One? :)

Even if you didn't like it, please tell me. Any, and all, feedback is welcomed.


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Triple_R
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« Reply #5 on: April 02, 2006, 12:41:14 pm »

Ok... I know that *some* people have been reading this (simply by the number of views).

I'm debating with myself whether or not to write more.

If you're not responding because...

1) You don't think it's very good... that's fine, I can handle the criticism. Not all concepts work nicely.

2) You want to read more before commenting... that's fine as well, but I'd like to know if that's the case or not.
I don't mind writing another episode, or two... or even several. But I only want to do so if people here at least think that my writing/show idea has potential.

Basically, I don't want to keep writing and writing if people thinks that my story/show idea here isn't very good. But... if you're liking it, but waiting for more, I'd love to hear that.  

I *really* would like some feedback - if it's negative, I can handle that, since I have done stories on other boards that were positively recieved.
« Last Edit: April 02, 2006, 12:42:10 pm by triple_r » Logged
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