El-Hazard Round Robin

[rowan_a._seven]

It was a relatively normal day at Roshtarian High...provided one ignored the ancient ruins that had recently been unearthed and the students, royal guards, and engineers milling around in wonder.  Standing proudly in front of a camera and being interviewed was Afura Mann, wearing a dark blue suit that was eerily familiar.

"Yes, I, Afura Mann, the Student President of Roshtarian High, was amazed to find these ruins beneath our venerable institution of learning," she spoke haughtily.  "Truly, this must be destiny, and I'd recommend that, since I discovered them, they should be called the Mann Ruins."

"Ms. Mann, what do you have to say about the allegations that your election was dishonest?" Shayla-Shayla, wearing a familiar yellow uniform, questioned loudly as she roughly pushed herself to the front of the crowd and held out her own microphone.

Afura narrowed her eyes.  "Those allegations are completely false!  There's not a merit of truth to them, and I am _shocked_ that you'd try to disgrace your fellow Elemental Club member on national TV, Shayla!"

"The broadcast club agreed to pay my bar tab in exchange for doing this," Shayla-Shayla admitted cheerfully, continuing her questioning.  "Tell me, are you concerned about Ishiel Soel being the star witness?"

"Ishiel?  Of course not!  Now shoo.  Go away!"  Turning to the camera, she added, "And this interview ends now!"

******

"I feel like such a snitch," Ishiel commented morosely, bitterly reprimanding herself.  "It's not like I meant to eavesdrop on Fatora's conversation with Afura about increasing the Delightfully Unconventional Club's budget."

"Don't worry about it, Ishiel.  Trust me, you're doing the right thing," Kauru told her reassuringly.  "We're all tired of Afura's totalitarian and enlightened politics.  Why, she's even gone so far as to institute mandatory weekly reading!"

Ifurita nodded her head eagerly.  "Yeah, and in a high school to boot!  Does she think we're college students or something?  Between pining for love and contemplating my mournful existence, how am I supposed to read a novel every week?"

"You're absolutely right!" Ishiel declared, cheering up.  "Though I consider Afura a friend, these unreasonable but edifying policies of hers must not be allowed to continue for the sake of carefree high school students everywhere!"

******

Afura looked at a bulletin board that had a recall Afura poster on it.  She then glanced at the list of priestess test scores next to it and saw her name in second place, underneath Ishiel's name which was in first place.  Images of Ishiel defeating her in races, beating her to the lunch line, out-performing her academically, and triumphing over her in just about everything ran through her head.  Tenuous grip on sanity lost, Afura grinned madly and released a diabolical chuckle.

"WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Oh, Ishiel, you are _so_ going to pay. WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

******

"You wanted to see me?" Ishiel asked Afura later that night as the two stood alone in the school's courtyard.  

"Yes, I wish to tell you that...our eternal rivalry ends here!  No more will you be a thorn in my side, Soel!" Afura replied, holding out a rope in a very threatening manner and advancing ominously.

"You're talking crazy, Afura," Ishiel answered nervously, backing away.

"And you won't be talking at all when I'm done with you, Soel!  Clause 23 of the priesthood bylaws states that if no evidence is brought against me at tomorrow's meeting, my position is secure!  WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Afura spoke madly, a manic gleam in her eyes as a chase sequence ensued.

******

"Hey Groucho-sensei, Kauru and I brought you something to eat!" Shayla announced as she and Kauru barged into Groucho's office.

"Huba zut, dano," Groucho-sensei replied gratefully, inclining his head in thanks as he accepted the proffered meal and began to eat.

"That will be 20,000 Roshtals," Shayla added in a syrupy tone of voice.  

"Zao desna!" Groucho-sensei exclaimed in shock, shooting Shayla an accusing look as Kauru looked on sheepishly, looking like she'd like to say something but wasn't sure what.

******

Ishiel came to a dead end and reluctantly turned around, watching in fear as Afura approached.  Eyes widening in panic, she screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAHHH-"

"Hello everyone!" Ifurina interrupted cheerfully, waving to Ishiel and Afura as she arrived on the scene.  "I had to stay after to mop the hallways, and I couldn't help but hear you two running around out here.  So, whatcha doing, and if it's a game can I play too?"

Before either Ishiel or Afura could answer, there was a flash of light and time stopped.

"Aw, that's not fun!" Ifurina complained, pouting cutely.

******

"For 10,000 years, I have dreamed only of this moment," Demon God Jinnai admitted emotionally as he drew closer to Ifurina and hugged her longingly.  

Ifurina blushed.  "Um, Mr. Incredibly Handsome Stranger Who Seems to Know Me, what is...um...your name?"

"What, you don't remember?" Demon God Jinnai asked, sounding slightly hurt.  A sad expression crossed his features, and he stepped back.  "Time grows short, and my powers have grown weak with the passing of the millennia.  With the last of my strength, I will send you to the world of Shinonome."  

[MrWhat]

Arjah picked himself up from the nothing where the ground should have been.  He blinked a few times as he looked around at the rest of the nothing where everything else should have been.

Being a fairly intelligent poorly-defined villain, he quickly realized where he was.  He was back in the void-- the void where he had spent countless eons, somehow trapped by the multi-dimensional Eye of God.

Arjah spent the next couple of days running through some of the expletives that he knew.  After spying on countless dimensions for countless eons, he had picked up quite a vocabulary.

Finally, he calmed down, and tried to work out what had happened.  Let's see, he thought.  The last thing I remember is, I was blasting a certain Nifelheim demon into the Next Dimension after she--

After she gave another Ultimate Weapon to one of those idiots!!

That's it!, Arjah thought.  I wasn't banished to this void again!  I was thrown back here because reality doesn't exist anymore!

He held out one disembodied hand, summoned up a glowing sphere of energy, and concentrated.  A moving image formed in the sphere.  It was an image of the last few moments of uber-Ishiel's battle, and the chaos playing out around the battle.

Arjah replayed the last few moments again and again, until he found what he was looking for.  Yes!, he thought.  There!  The girl Ifurina!  She's activated a device with the power to alter reality!...  Gee, I wish I had one of those.

Why, she isn't even using it properly, is she?  Instead of altering El-Hazard to her whims, she's somehow constructed an alternate reality.  Let's see...

Arjah "changed the channel" on his sphere, and saw the drama at Roshtarian High playing out.  Hmm, he thought.  That seems strangely familiar...  Well, it hardly matters.  She doesn't have my nearly infinite powers.  She'll only be able to keep her alternate world going for a short while before it breaks down.

And then?  Why, another alternate reality will take its place.  And then, another.  Each one will be more ridiculous than the last.  Why, it'll be just like that story arc in Tenchi Universe.

But it won't last for long, Arjah thought, with an evil smirk.  Sooner or later, the powers of that artifact will burn out her sad little brain.  And then, true reality will return, and my own magnificent scheme will play out to its ever-so-satisfying conclusion.

The only way something could go wrong now is if she were somehow rescued from her course of self-destruction, if some other random entity were to interfere.  And what are the chances of that happening?  Heh heh.

Arjah lowered his hand, to leave his portal suspended at a comfortable viewing height.  Then he conjured himself an easy chair and a big bowl of popcorn, and settled in.  Might as well enjoy the show, he thought.  I hope Soel and Mann end up mud-wrestling again.

[rowan_a._seven]

The two titans uber-Mara and Demon God Afura rocketed towards each other, but before they could meet--  BOOM!!

"OUCH!!"  Mara backed away from Afura, rubbing the back of her armored head.  "That STUNG!!"

She turned, and found Ifurina's Jinnai behind her, key-staff at the ready, and now dressed in an elaborate butler outfit.

Mara stifled a giggle, then burst out loud laughing.  "BWAH HA HA HA!!"

"WHAT!?" Jinnai shouted indignantly.  "I was trying on some more nice things to wear for my dear soul-mate, and I didn't have time to change back!!"

"Well, there's that," a still-giggling Mara said.  "But it's also simply laughable that one demon god, no matter how mighty, would choose to throw his life away, as you have just done.  After all, I have just defeated SIX PRETTY MAGICAL GOD SHAYLAS!!  What can you hope to--  OUCH!!"

After being cut off in mid-gloat, she turned again, and found Jinnai from OAV2 behind her, key-staff also at the ready, but more conservatively dressed.  "My brother.  It seems I am needed once again."

"Okay, two Jinnais!" Mara yelled.  "But still, I'm sayin'-- OUCH!!  OH, FER CRYIN' OUT LOUD!!"

A third Jinnai had appeared, and taken his own shot.  "My brothers.  It seems I am also needed."

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?" Mara shrieked.  "AND WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM!?"

"Um," Jinnai-3 said, "the short answer is, the current author's own fan fiction.  The long answer is, I was trapped for thousands of years in a ruins beneath the ocean, until--"

"SCREW THE LONG ANSWER!!" Mara screamed, suddenly falling into berserker mode.

Demon God Afura hung in nearby mid-air, arms crossed, irritably tapping her foot against nothing.  Her delicate female ego had once again been bruised.  "Well, excuse me!  I'll just take a freakin' number and wait in the freakin' line!"

******

Ifurina had finally finished off her basket of dinner rolls.  She looked at the now-empty basket, and blinked.  "Oops.  Oh, shoot.  That's gonna ruin my appetite for sure."

She stood up, licking her fingers and brushing the flour from her Roshtarian High outfit.  She strolled out of what used to be the Roshtarian Diner, hands clasped behind her back, humming pleasantly to herself.

Ifurina looked to the sky, and saw a constantly-shifting number of demon gods fighting with a berserk uber-Mara.  "Oh dear.  That doesn't look good..."

Then she happened to look back to the ground.  "Oh, what's this?  It sure is pretty!"

Ifurina crouched down and picked up The Charm.

And then, of course, she put it on.

And everything changed (back) forever.

******

Elemental Priestess Ishiel was losing.  The three Ifuritas were acting in perfect coordination, covering, defending, and attacking with such perfect unity and cohesion that Ishiel was at a loss to gain an advantage over them while Demon God Jinnai continued to hammer her at from random angles, giving her no time to develop a strategy let alone a defense.  

CRACK!

BOOM!

WHAP!

SWHOOM!

"Mwhahahahahahahahahaha!"

Ishiel reeled back from their combined assault, weakly opening her bleary eyes as Jinnai's maniacal laughter echoed in her ears.  The sight of Ifurita-1 launching her city-destroying attack at her greeted her.  A panicked glance around her confirmed that the other Ifuritas and Jinnai had launched comparably powerful energy projectiles in her direction.  Surrounded, Ishiel had no chance of evading them.  Eyes widening in horror, her mind was filled with the knowledge that she was going to die in a few seconds .

^No!  It can't end...not like this!  It won't end like this!^ Ishiel swore to herself with desperate determination, anger at the world and Demon Gods growing beyond all reason.  Brighter than the burning sun, raw elemental power erupted around Ishiel in response to her emotions and detonated all four incoming energy attacks simultaneously.

BOOM!

Ifuritas 1-3 and Jinnai tumbled backwards several yards due to the sheer force generated by the explosions, and when they finally managed to right themselves they were treated to the sight of a madly cackling Ishiel.  Although her elemental armor was cracked in several places and blood was dripping from many wounds, power still coursed crazily around her, pulsating in tune to her own frenzied heartbeat.

"Humans, Bugrom, Phantom Tribers, and Demon Gods!  Everyone is...hahaha!...against me!  So be it.  Everything, everywhere, DIE!!!" the mad priestess shouted to the heavens as lightning struck dramatically in the background.  Not even waiting for a response, Ishiel brought her hands together as if in prayer, and four elemental dragons sprang into existence around her and with a terrifying and united roar launched themselves at their enemies.

"Heh, bring it on!" Demon God Jinnai declared confidently as the stone serpent careened towards him, shattering it into pieces with a well-aimed blast of his key-staff.  However, much to the dictator's surprise, the shards of stone immediately reformed themselves into miniature draconic foes and continued their speedy charge.  Jinnai soon found himself attacked from all sides by these minute stone flyers, and the more he destroyed the more appeared until his image was completely obfuscated by the animated rock.

Simultaneously, the fire, water, and wind dragons flew towards the three Ifuritas who, with an unspoken understanding, brought their key-staffs together and, their powers united, launched a horrifyingly destructive sphere of energy at their elemental foes.  Not even bothering to slow down, the three dragons simply reformed around the attack and continued on their way, reaching their targets within seconds.  Ifurita3 was engulfed by wind that spun her around and around, doing all in its power to rip her to shreds.  Ifurita1 was set afire, her maid outfit reduced to ash as the fire serpent did its best to incinerate her.  Ifurita2's fate, however, was even worse.  The water dragon slammed into her, momentarily stunning the Demon God, and before she could react the dragon reshaped itself into a stream that entered Ifurita2's body through her mouth.  Physique bulging worryingly as water flooded and tore through her systems, Ifurita2's world was filled with pain when the water drake forcibly exited her body through the expedient process of creating hundreds of holes and apertures to cascade out of.

"Yu...ba," Ifurita2 uttered faintly and longingly as her eyes went dim and she fell from the sky, joining Pretty Magical God Nanami on the ground below in defeat.  The freed water, not wasting a moment, transformed into spears of ice and sped towards the hopelessly buffeted Ifurita3, impaling her over a hundred times.  Likewise, her energy spent and injuries beyond her ability to cope with, she, too, plummeted to the world below.  

"ENOUGH!" Jinnai shouted as an aura of energy surrounded him, reducing his stone attackers to dust  "This battle ends now, Ishiel!  I won't permit you to interfere in my brilliant plans any longer!"

Faster than a blink of an eye and before his assailants of rock could reform themselves, Jinnai charged at the concentrating Ishiel, believing that as long as she was controlling her elemental creations she wouldn't be able to focus on him.  He was wrong.

CRACK!

Looking down, Demon God Jinnai gaped incredulously at the stone arm that was jutting through his stomach.  A smirking Ishiel, madness brought about by sheer, unmatchable power dancing in her eyes, laughed, and her stone arm suddenly came alive with electricity that fried Jinnai's internal circuitry.  She then scornfully shook the defeated Jinnai off and let his damaged form fall through the air and to the ground.  Ishiel then turned her full attention to Ifurita1 and, with a wave of her right hand, all of the elemental beasts converged on her at once, capturing the stubbornly hanging on Demon God in their wraith-like clutches and, as one creature, crashing at full speed into Florestica.

BOOM!

Ishiel gracefully descended into the crater that had just been formed in Florestica's thankfully abandoned marketplace.  Spotting Ifurita1's collapsed, prone, depleted, and naked body in the center, the elemental priestess grinned maliciously as she brought her glowing hands together above her head and prepared to finish the Demon God off once and for all.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Makoto shouted as he desperately lunged at Ishiel, coming into contact with her mere seconds before her elementally charged fists could impact Ifurita1 and doing the only thing he could think of doing - linking with her.  The eyes of both Ishiel and Makoto clouded over as, Makoto's hands still touching her armor, they, too, joined the others on the ground.

******

Darkness.  

As Makoto flew through Ishiel's mind, looking for what he did not know, he couldn't help but marvel at the sheer lack of any light.

It's the darkness of my soul, Makoto.  Revenge and anger are all that I have left.

Nonsense!  That can't be true!  Surely there must still be some warmth left in you?

You search in vain.  This is the me I have become.

Images of elemental fury consuming the races of El-Hazard, Ishiel as the avatar of nature's vengeance enveloping the world.

But what about the past you?  This can't be what you wanted!  What happened to your dreams?

The world at peace, Phantom Tribers and humans living side-by-side above the surface as friends.  A flash of Ishiel Soel as the Priestess of Air, smiling, as she cheerfully carries out her duties.

Gone.  The child who dreamed them died when she was imprisoned and betrayed by everybody she trusted.  Nothing can change what I've become now.  Nothing at all.

I don't believe that, and I don't think you do either!  Look at your heart, Ishiel!  See its beauty and let its light flood your soul!

Flash!

Chibi-Ishiel sitting with her parents under the night sky, looking up at the stars with childish awe.

Flash!

Child Ishiel running through a field with reckless abandon on a sunny day, the wonders of nature all around her.

Flash!

Young Ishiel studying at the Seminary, laughing and joking with a young Afura and thanking her for being her friend.

It's so...beautiful.

Everything was engulfed by a golden light.

******

"Oh, brave, brave Jinnai, you shall not have died in vain!" Ifurina promised, weeping over the Demon God's body.  

"Uh, I'm-I'm not quite dead, master," Jinnai replied weakly, gazing up at Ifurina with what could almost be called tenderness.

Ifurina thought about this for a moment, and then said, "Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain!"

Fortunately, before the current author could further butcher this Monty Python sketch, Makoto and Ishiel came to with a worried and badly damaged Ifurita1 standing over them, a hurt expression on her features.

"Oh Makoto, how could you link with somebody other than me?" she demanded, eyes burning with jealously.  "How could you betray the link we share like that?"

"It's not like that, Ifurita!" Makoto hastily tried to explain.  "I was merely trying to-"

Ishiel, elemental armor having turned back into the four joined lamps, cast it aside and hugged Makoto, momentarily forgetting that without her armor she was naked.

"Thank you!  Thank you so much!" she shouted joyously and happily, an adoring expression on her face and tears pouring from her eyes.  "The bitterness and anger I've held onto these many years are finally gone thanks to you!  I can finally forgive those who've harmed me and move on with my life!  Tell me, is there anything I can do to repay you for all that you've done?"

"Um...letting go of me would be a good start," Makoto muttered, blanching at Ifurita's possessive and enraged expression and missing Shayla's similar reaction.

"My my my, you certainly are fickle one, Makoto," Chabil said with amusement as he walked onto the scene.  Everybody who could turned to look at him.

"It's...um...not what it looks like!  Honest!" Makoto replied quickly, trying to explain despite the track record he had in such areas.

Chabil grinned.  "Oh, I believe you, Makoto.  Things seldom are what they appear, after all."  With that, he grabbed the discarded Lamp of the 4 Elements and laughed sinisterly as he was engulfed by pure white light.  When it finally cleared a glowing Arjah stood before them.

"Like me," Arjah added jovially, smirking at the stunned expressions of his audience.  "Though there have been a few unexpected...surprises here and there-" Arjah sent a pointed look at Ifurina, "- my plan has worked perfectly.  Poor little insects, through your own petty quarrels and wars you have cleared the way for my conquest of this entire world and granted me the power to do it!  With the priestesses powerless, the Demon Gods either offline or barely able to stand, and most of the doomsday weapons of the Ancients destroyed, nothing can stand in my way now, and I've barely had to lift a finger to accomplish all this!  El-Hazard shall bow before me once more!"

"Still, just to be on the safe side," Arjah spoke slowly, turning to face Kauru, "I suppose I should eliminate the main character with the mysterious connection and vague origins.  Die."

Time seemed to slow down as a bolt of energy shot out of Arjah's left hand and raced towards Kauru.  Held in place by her own fear and human reaction time, the Priestess of Water and everybody around her could only watch in horror as her death drew near.  Everybody, that is, except Tuxedo Groucho.

With speed and reflexes only a bugrom could possess, Tuxedo Groucho heroically pushed Kauru out of harm's way and let out a cry of pain as the attack tunneled through his own body.  Bleeding profusely and with a gaping hole in his exoskeleton, Tuxedo Groucho fell.

"Nooo!" Kauru yelled, horrified, as she went to his side, shedding tears of sorrow.  "Don't die on me, sir!  Please, don't die!  I don't want you to die.  I think I...I think I love you!"

"Daba?  Kina hubba zot zat zuut, wobba woob gra da," Tuxedo Groucho replied kindly, emotionally, and comfortingly, reaching up to caress Kauru's face and wipe away her tears before his strength finally left him and he entered unconsciousness.  A melancholic breeze blew by, removing his mask, and the distressed Kauru finally saw the true face of her savior.

The world held its breath in anticipation of what would happen next.

----------------------

Anybody care to end this?

[Lord God Jinnai]

End this? Ha! It has hardly begun!!!

*********************************************


"G-Groucho!" snarled the Demon God Jinnai. He stood up painfully, eliciting a concerned gasp from Ifurina. Ignoring his master in lieu of his fallen friend, the Demon God strode forwards. His stomach wound was quickly closing up, the result of the complex and very advanced nanotechnology composing most of his body.

Arjah grinned evilly as Jinnai approached. "Well well well! If it isn't the pathetic would-be conqueror of the Universe! You may have changed your appearance, boy, but your pitiful incompetence has not. Here you are, the Ultimate Demon God, last in the line, the most advanced ever created, and you could not even take care of a half-crazed priestess without help. Utterly pitiful."

"Oh shut it," snarled Jinnai. His wound had managed to close up, but the healing had left his reserves dangerously depleted. Leaning on his staff heavily, the Demon God glared fiercely at Arjah and trying to formulate some way of defeating him. "I will conquer this world, it is my destiny to do so. If you chose to stand in my way, then I shall crush you like a b-" A quick glance at the prone Groucho changed his words. "-b... b.... fallen leaf."

"Is that so?" Arjah chuckled. "You are almost dead, your batteries dried up to almost nothing. The only way you could get enough power to put up a decent fight is for your wimpy little mistress over there to wind you up. And what makes you think I'll allow that?"

Jinnai growled. He knew the old man was right; he didn't have enough power to walk let alone fight another ferocious battle. The Demon God was about to leap forwards and attack anyway, when all of the sudden------------  

[MrWhat]

OOC:

End this? Ha! It has hardly begun!!!

Well, I almost killed it.  Memo to self:  Never, ever, ever end a reply with "everything changed forever"  

But, if this continues, we might want to start a fresh topic soon.  It's difficult to reply to 6+ pages of lengthy replies.


"Makoto!!"

Pretty Magical God Nanami had crawled from her own impact crater, up to Makoto's feet.  Her nanotechnological body had repaired itself too, but she was too weak to stand.  And, of course, the tattered shreds of her already-skimpy clothing had fallen away as she had drug herself towards her beloved childhood friend.

Nanami tugged at Makoto's ankles as she began to weep sweet tears of pure joy.  "Oh, Makoto!  Thank you for showing Ishi-chan the beauty in her soul!  And thank you for saving the world again!"

Makoto whispered from the corner of his mouth.  "Hold that thought, Nanami.  We're still in big trouble here."

Arjah glanced at Makoto.  He saw a naked Ishiel, still hugging him tightly and crying happily; a naked Ifurita-1, jealously clinging to his arm and pouting in a cute way; and a naked Pretty Magical God Nanami, tugging at his ankles and also weeping with joy.

Arjah shook his disembodied head.  "How do you do that, boy?"

Makoto smiled sheepishly.  "I wish I knew--"

"Cha--  Chabil!?"

Arjah turned away from Makoto, to find the Princess Rune Venus standing before him.  She had come forwards, from the badly damaged palace, during the lull in the battle.  "Oh, Chabil!  What has happened to you, my beloved!?  What have you become!?"

"You deluded fool!" said Arjah.  "I am not your lost love Chabil.  I am--"

Rune began to weep too.  "Oh, Chabil!  That you should have aged so, before your time!"

"Uh, Milady?" said Makoto.  "That's not Chabil."

"And why do you hold the Lamp of the Four Elements against your friends!?" Rune sobbed.  "Chabil, why have you turned against us?"

Kauru was kneeling near Tuxedo Groucho's prone body, indulging in a complete mental collapse of her very own.  She briefly glanced at Rune, with a wild-eyed look of crazed despair.  "Muh-- Milady?  Thuh-- that's not Shuh-- Chabil."  Then she held her face in her hands again, and carried on shuddering and whimpering.

"And now, all my friends accuse you of being someone else!" Rune gasped.

Jinnai hissed.  "That's not Chabil, you simpering twit!!"

"And my enemies too!...  Hey!  Wait a minute!  You're not Chabil!!"

Arjah rolled his eyes.  "It's about time that got through.  Tell me, my dear... would your beloved Chabil do this!?"

Before anyone could react, Arjah blasted Rune.  However, it was a much weaker blast than he had directed at Kauru.  When the dust settled, Rune was unharmed and still on her feet... but the blast had torn away her gossamer garments.  Now she was naked too.

Jinnai rolled his eyes.  "Oh, that was just completely gratuitous."

"Pathetic little man," said Arjah.  "A true conqueror would know, you can never have too many beautiful nekkid women about the place.  But if you would prefer gender equality?  Behold!"

Without warning, Arjah blasted Makoto.  When the dust settled again, Makoto was also naked.  But his clingy harem had thrown him off balance in the blast, and he was mostly buried in a pile of naked priestess and demon gods.

Jinnai rubbed his temples.  "This is getting more ridiculous by the second!"

A forgotten Shayla was also shaking her head in disgust.  Tell me about it, she thought, as she began to pull off her priestess uniform.  Here I am, forgotten, powerless, and with completely unblasted clothing.  I guess I'm just going to have to take off my own damn clothes.  I don't care if Ifurita is back-- I'm not gonna let Box Lunch Girl get away with that without me.

In the meantime, Rune had regained her breath.  She spoke with what little sad dignity she could muster.  "So... it is true.  You are not... you never were... my lost love.  And yet... would you forsake me?  I shared my heart with you.  I offered myself to you, both emotionally and physically--"

"EEEWW!!" said everyone who was conscious, except Arjah.

"I know!!" said a scowling Rune.  "But I was blinded by love, so don't give me crap!  And now... I am scorned, and humiliated, and far too naked for comfort.  My city, and my kingdom, and much of the known world, lies in ruins.  All I have left now is... revenge."

"REVENGE!?" Arjah bellowed, in a sudden fit of evil laughter.  "And exactly HOW do YOU intend to take your revenge against the Ruler Of The Entire Universe!?  As you yourself said, your kingdom lies in ruins!!  Every known extant demon god lies at my feet, near death!!  The little fool Ifurina has saved herself with a clever bit of recursion, but her reality-altering Ultimate Weapon is lost!!  And every other Ultimate Weapon in this hemisphere has been destroyed!!"

Rune suddenly held up a small pistol-shaped weapon in both hands, aiming it at Arjah's face.  Her own face fell into a most un-Rune-like expression of desperate hatred.  "Not every Ultimate Weapon.  No self-repecting princess would be caught without a little protection."

Jinnai's impossibly handsome bishounen jaw fell to the ground.  "Where was she hiding that!?  She's naked, fer cryin' out loud!!"

Arjah sneered.  "Do your worst, then.  Shoot me point blank in the face with your silly little weapon, if it please you, before I begin my final conquest of the multi-verse by destroying you all!"

"Oh, this may look like a simple energy pistol... but I assure you, it is much, much more than that," Rune snarled, just before she pulled the trigger.  "Eat my hot and tasty death, you Chabil-impersonating son of a--"

BOOM!!

[Andrusi]

One might assume that the loud BOOM! that had been heard was the sound of Arjah's universe-destroying plan being put into motion.  Alternatively, one might assume it was the sound of Rune firing the one remaining Ultimate Weapon.  One would most likely not assume that it was the sound of a pair thrusters located at the back of the weapon, which nobody had ever noticed before, starting up.

One's guess as to the nature of the sound effect is therefore probably incorrect, as it was in fact the third possibility which turned out to be true.  Naturally everyone was rather surprised by this turn of events.  And they were even more surprised when the gun flew out of Rune's grip, flipped around, folded a bit, and became a silvery gray robot about the size of Alielle.

"Well, hello, there," the robot said in a pleasant tone with a slight British accent.  "I suppose you all thought I was some sort of lethal superweapon.  Technically I am, but I prefer the term 'harmlessness challenged.'  My name is Over-Run, and I'm a Mini-Con robot who travels between dimensions in an attempt to locate and save the next targets of an interdimensional supervillain named Unicron.  Sadly I stepped in a box full of dirt and dead plants, tripped and fell multidimensionally, and landed unconcious in weapon mode, and so I remained until I was found, I assume by you."  He nodded to Rune.  "It wasn't until you pulled my trigger that I was able to wake up.  As is the custom among characters from other series who wish to survive more than five minutes, I will now complete the exposition on myself by mentioning that my weapon form is extremely powerful, that I also have a jet form, and that I could be considered a 'good guy'."

Rune was in the process of completely failing to come up with a response when Arjah shouted "Now hold on!"  Everyone turned to him.

"Rune... you thought I was Chabil.  And when you did, you told me that you loved me, and that you wanted to marry me and produce many offspring, not necessarily in that order, and I believed it.  And not that I actually care, since I was only pretending to be anyone who cared about you, but... all this time, you've been PULLING HIS TRIGGER?!"

Rune blinked, then switched into the fabled and feared "Angry Rune Mode".  "You dare accuse me of having an inappropriate sexual relationship with a talking gun?!"

"You were just sitting right there, naked, holding his 'handle', intending to 'fire him off'!  You were cheating on me!"

The robot stepped forward.  "If I might--"

"YOU MIGHT NOT!" both Arjah and Rune shouted.

Over-Run backed away.  One minute they're trying to kill each other over the fate of the universe, and now they're arguing about their love life?  By the Matrix, these people are crazy.  He looked at the pile of naked-girls-and-Makoto.  "Hey, wow!  A human mating ritual!  I don't believe Transformerkind has ever observed this before!"  And so he ran over to where Makoto was struggling to remove himself from Ishiel, Ifurita, PRETTY MAGICAL GOD NANAMI, and a certain twice-named priestess who was trying and failing to find a good spot to grab on.

----------

OOC: DON'T.  ASK.  BECAUSE.  THE.  ANSWER.  WILL.  MAKE.  YOU.  GO.  INSANE.

[MrWhat]

Ifurita-2 (Yuba Yuurius' Ifurita) and Ifurita-3 (the current writer's own Ifurita) had both regained consciousness.  As with the other demon gods, their bodies had self-repaired, but they were both greatly weakened, and unsteady on their feet.  They both staggered forwards, leaning on each other for support.

They came up to the pile of nekkid-women-and-Makoto, and sweat-dropped.

Ifurita-2 shook her head sadly.  "What is the world coming to?  Even my sweet Yuba was quite, um, randy... but he would never have done something like *this*."

Ifurita-3 also looked on sadly.  Oh dear, she thought.  Even if I was recharged-- there is no room for me in that pile of naked people at *all*.

Ifurita-2 turned to her sister.  "I think our work here is done.  If that inter-dimensional villain is to be defeated, it will not be with our brute strength.  Shall we take our leave?"

Ifurita-3 smiled sweetly.  "My sister.  If you will recharge me, I shall recharge you."

They both turned away, took up their respective power key staves, and walked away, arm in arm.  "You are welcome to stay at my desert oasis for awhile," Ifurita-2 said.  "Perhaps I can sew your badly-torn and barely-still-decent uniform back together, along with my own."

"Thank you," Ifurita-3 said.  "But if you are free, we could go to the Barage Market instead, and see if the 'Ultimate Weapon Boutique' has anything on sale..."


Makoto didn't know if he truly had harem-ic powers... but he found himself wishing that Fatora and Alielle could have stolen them.

He was desperately trying to extricate himself from a pile of clingy nekkid women.  He was a gentleman, but, like most really nice guys, he was also quite modest.  Being in mixed company, he was desperate to cover his own nekkid self, as quickly as possible.

But it wasn't easy.  Though the demon gods were greatly weakened, their sweet and platonic embrace proved to be nearly unbreakable.  And though Ishiel was not a demon god, her priestess training had given her great strength, and her Phantom Tribe espionage training had given her amazing powers of contortion.  And her injuries had been healed by her armor before it fell away.  If anything, her sweet and platonic embrace was even more inescapable.

And besides all that, Shayla seemed to have finally overcome her shyness.  She stood over Makoto, in all her own not-inconsiderable glory, waiting for some part of him to free up so that she could glomp him too.

Makoto squeezed his eyes shut and whimpered.  His self-control was failing.  A healthy young heterosexual man could take only so much gratuitous nekkid female glomping, no matter how sweet and platonic it was, before his body began to respond in a perfectly natural, yet incredibly embarrassing, way.  He began to perform long division of random numbers in his head, in a desperate effort to take his mind off things (four pairs of things, in particular).

But then, a shadow fell over Makoto.  Uh oh, he thought.  Arjah and Rune were still squabbling, Kauru was lost to a nervous breakdown, Demon God Jinnai and Ifurina were taking advantage of this latest sudden round of perversion to re-group (uh oh, Makoto thought again), and the strange Alielle-sized robot seemed to be content with voyeurism.  No, someone else had walked up.  And Makoto almost wet himself again, despite his circumstances, when he realized who it was.

"MI-- ZU-- HA-- RA!!  You have brought the honored name of Shinonome High School to a new low!!"

Fujisawa carefully set down his bag of groceries, shrugged off his backpack, and set his pickaxe aside.  Then he gently pulled the weakened Ifurita and Nanami away from Makoto, with his sober super strength.  "I blame myself, of course.  You need a fine upstanding paternal role model, such as myself, in your life, so that you don't... hmm..."

After draping his brown jacket over Ifurita's shoulders, and gallantly removing his orange shirt and pulling it over Nanami, Fujisawa had run out of extra clothing.  There was still a tearfully happy nekkid blue haired girl on Makoto.  And, Shayla had finally seen her opening, and glomped Makoto too.  She had even brought herself to genuinely happy sweet and platonic tears, in order to compete directly with Nanami and Ishiel.

Unfortunately, the question was moot.  Arjah gestured sharply as he argued with the Princess Rune Venus (Rune's naked too?, Fujisawa suddenly thought.  Oh, that's just completely gratuitous).  Another weak blast of cloth-destroying energy left Arjah's hand at random, and passed over them all.

When the dust settled, Ifurita and Nanami were naked again, and now even Fujisawa was naked.

"Alright, that's it," Fujisawa said.  He carefully shrugged his backpack back on, very carefully took up his pickaxe, and grabbed his miraculously unharmed bag of groceries.  "I refuse to get involved in this.  I'm a married man, fer cryin' out loud.  I'm taking the groceries home to Miz before they spoil."


OOC:  Put a dime in my jukebox, and you'll only hear this song  

[Spanner]

"Grrk, gaak, grrk," Arjah commented intelligently, his eyes bulging even more than usual (if such a thing could even be imagined). The reason for this was that Rune Venus was currently strangling the life out of the self-proclaimed Great Priest of Dimensions.

"How DARE you impugn my faithfulness?" the naked and very irate princess demanded. "I'll KILL you! KIIIILL!" By now, a bit of froth was gathering at the corner of Rune's mouth.

"Grrk... ENOUGH!" Arjah managed to gasp, emitting a burst of wind powerful enough to blow his aggressor away from him. He scowled at the princess now on the ground. "I'll confess that I allowed my pride to get the better of me, but in the grand scheme of things, your indiscressions are less than meaningless. And I should know. I AM the grand scheme of things!

"Now, if you will all excuse me, while you all have paved the path to my destiny quite nicely, I still have a few preparations to make. If I were you, I'd take young Makoto's example and make the most of your few remaining hours. Farewell!" With that, Arjah sunk into the ground as though it had the consistency of water, leaving not even the slightest scar on the surface of the earth. Before his head vanished, however, he leered at Rune Venus. "Tramp."

"ARGH!" Rune snarled, lunging at the spot where he'd been. She could do nothing but scratch ineffectually at the dirt, though.

Over-Run really had no idea what was going on. Though, to be perfectly honest, the transient Transformer didn't really care. If things got too hairy, he could always transport himself to another dimension. For now, though, he was being granted a unique opportunity which, to his knowledge, had never been granted to another of his kind. "Fascinating," he murmurred, observing the squirming pile of nakedness centered around Makoto. Suddenly, he felt unfamiliar hands gripping his arms. "Huh?"

Ifurina had had her eyes on Rune's gun ever since it had changed into a small person. Frankly, it fascinated her. Many of the boys of her town had had similar toys when they were young, but whenever she tried to change them from one form to another, she could never get it right!

"Hey, what are you doing?" Over-Run protested as Ifurina jerked his arms around. While normally significantly stronger than an average human, completely by accident Ifurina had managed to gain the proper leverage to overcome Over-Run's superior strength. "OW! No that doesn't go there! Ack! Help!"

"That doesn't look quite right," Ifurina eyed her creation dubiously. It resembled a sort of bizarre Frankensteinian blend of a gun, an airplane, and a robot. "Well, if at first you don't succeed, try try again!" she chirped merrily, reaching out once more to grasp the silver-grey robot. Over-Run began to whimper.

Just a few yards away, Qawool stared continuously at Groucho, who was beginning to sweat. "Swobu?" the formerly-masked Bugrom asked cautiously. Qawool twitched disturbingly, leading Groucho to the wise decision that he should just keep his trap shut. Even without her Lamp of Water, Qawool could be painfully dangerous when her fear of bugs was unleashed...

Withing Qawool's mind, her unconditional love for Groucho warred violently with her fear of bugs. Her whole life had conditioned her to respond immediately and violently to such vile creatures. But her romantic heart demanded that she stay her hand - even if there was no way it could logically work out, she simply couldn't raise her hand against the one who'd so stolen her heart...

Then, without any warning whatsoever, they cancelled each other out.

Suddenly, Qawool's mind flooded with knowledge she hadn't known she possessed. Dim memories returned to her. She was lying on... a hard surface of some kind. The lights were bright, and she was gazing up at two shadowy figures, one male, the other female, but their features otherwise obscured.

"She's perfect," the female murmurred. "Has it been confirmed that she can withstand the memory implants?"

"No, she cannot," the male replied. "At least, not at this stage of her physical development. A lock will be needed. We are considering introducing a phobia to her psyche, to seal the knowledge away until she has developed to the point where she can handle it."

"It is good to know that our Tribe's knowledge will not be lost," the female mused. "The world may well depend on it one day... And with the plague that ravages our people, none of us will live past this girl's tenth year."

The male shook his head sadly. "At least the genetic modifications we've made to this one and her brothers and sisters will allow them to survive. Still, it pains me to know that our only progeny to survive will not be quite human..."

"Hush," the female reprimanded. "Beggars cannot be choosers. And you must be careful what you say around our young ones. They may be infants still, but the changes we have made to them are not completely predictable. They may remember..."

Qawool shook herself out of her remembrance and stared at Groucho. She felt neither fear, nor love. But that simply wasn't important right now. She staggered to her feet. "I... I have to go do something..." she muttered aloud. "Something very important..."

Looking very distressed and preoccupied, a naked Qawool staggered from the group.


The crust of El-Hazard was unusually thick for a planet of its size and age. The machinations of the Ancients of El-Hazard had required a tremendous amount of energy, and most of that was provided geothermally. As that energy was extracted, the planet's interior cooled drastically. Fortunately, the Ancients were well-prepared to handle the seizmic reprecussions of such a drastic change to their planet.

The thick crust of El-Hazard was laced through-and-through with machinery, as well, both for gathering of energy as well as other purposes. All of this machinery was going to prove quite useful to Arjah's plans.

Arjah was, indeed, the Great Priest of Dimensions. He had assumed that title himself when the fools of the Priesthood declared that dimensional energy was far too unstable an element to control, even with the assistence of a Lamp. Arjah had been determined to prove otherwise... and he did. The the power of dimensional energy was practically without limit, and it granted him near-omniscience, as well. His collegues did not trust him, though, and sealed him away. To be perfectly honest, Arjah did not blame them. He would have done the same, in their position. It did not mean that he FORGAVE them for it, however.

Now, he was free again, and ready to finally assume his proper role as God of Everything. Unfortunately, he was still required to use tools to achieve his ends... Omnipotence was not yet his. That would change, however, and soon.

The Great Priest of Dimensions sank to the very center of the planet, easily protected from the intense heat and pressure by the Great Lamp of the Four Elements. Reaching out with his elemental influence, he manipulated machinery at several key points deep within the crust of El-Hazard.

On the surface ot the planet, all across El-Hazard, enormous spires began to thrust their way out of the ground, reaching toward the sky. Miles high, these spires began to glow and crackle with energy.

And at the center of the planet, Arjah began to laugh...

[MrWhat]

Galus had finally advanced on Parnasse, and bodily grabbed him.  He sat down in the middle of the floor of his subterranean cell, firmly holding the openly-weeping Parnasse in his lap.  He gently stroked Parnasse's hair with one hand.  Unfortunately, his other hand was too busy doing much more unpleasant things to slap his first hand away.

"There, there, now, m'lad," Galus said, in his soothing Rune's-fiancee voice.  "Nothing's going to happen--"

Galus' statement was incorrect-- but not in the way he himself imagined.

A massive ancient metal spire slammed up through the floor of the room.  Galus was brutally impaled on its razor-sharp tip.  Parnasse was unharmed, but he was borne up with Galus, as the spire parted the solid rock above it like a hot knife through butter.

Parnasse fell away safely when the spire broke the surface of the earth.  But Galus screamed an inhuman scream as his shattered body was thrust hundreds of meters into the air.

And then, just as Galus shuddered in his final death throes, the spire began to glow and crackle with dimensional energy.  What was left of Galus was quickly burned to fine black soot.

Parnasse lay flat on his back, trying to get his breath back, and trying not to lose his lunch.  Well, he thought, Galus has just gotta be dead this time.


Jinnai had finally had enough of the latest round of wacky shenanigans.  "Master Ifurina?  May I safely assume that our date is over, and that we can get back to...  Great googly moogly!!  What have you done to that thing!?"

Ifurina came to him, carrying an almost-unrecognizable Over-Run, and sniffling like a sad little girl that had broken her favorite toy.  "I don't know, Katsuhiko!  It looks easy when other people do it!  But I think he's stuck like this now!"

Jinnai took a closer look at Over-Run's new long narrow form.  "Say...  It looks just like a demon god's power-key-staff.  Tell me... Over-Run, was it?"

"Ouchie," the key-staff said weakly.

"Can you still function as a weapon in that form?" Jinnai asked.

"I think so," Over-Run said.  "That is, if I can figure out which end my shooty bits have been folded into."

Jinnai smiled.  "Excellent!  Master Ifurina, you have cleverly acquired another weapon for our cause!  And, may I say, its key-staff shape complements your dark gray jacket and red leggings quite nicely.  It's almost as if it completes a strangely-familiar picture."

As Ifurina basked in this rare praise, Jinnai turned to Groucho.  "You, there!  Quit slacking!  We've got work to do!"

Groucho weakly stumbled to his feet.  Arjah's blow was not fatal-- in fact, the weird physiology of the Bugrom allowed Groucho to carry on long enough for his missing vital organs to grow back.  But his wound was at least half as painful as it looked, and that was more than painful enough.

Jinnai put one arm around a happy Ifurina's waist, grabbed Groucho in an unimaginably painful way with his other hand, and took to the air.  "I would suggest that we put the conquest of Roshtaria aside for the moment, and concentrate on the massive apocalyptic machinery that has erupted all around us.  If we don't deal with this problem first, why, in a few hours, there will be no Roshtaria to conquer."

"'Kay," said Ifurina, much too happy to have paid attention to what Jinnai had actually said.


Makoto and his clingy harem had finally had enough of the latest round of wacky shenanigans.  A future-but-still-naked Nanami appeared to recharge the present Nanami, and Makoto recharged his Ifurita.  (It was incredibly embarrassing for Makoto to wind up Ifurita in front of everyone, when he and Ifurita were both naked, but it was nothing compared to what he had just been through.)

The excessive gratuitous nudity weighed heavily on the Princess Rune Venus' mind as well.  "Right," she said.  "First order of business is clothing.  But the palace and the city are both destroyed.  Any ideas, Makoto?"

Makoto turned to Ishiel.  "Could you?..."

Ishiel conjured up a half-Phantom-Tribe illusion of her Cool-Times-Ten black-leather Matrix outfit, but frowned with the effort.  "Sorry, Makoto.  I've been through an awful lot.  I don't think I can cover more than myself, for now."

Makoto rubbed his neck in thought.  "If we had even one full set of clothes, we could probably tear them into pieces just big enough to cover the other five of us.  Uh, Shayla?  What did you do with your clothes when you took them off?"

Shayla grinned sheepishly.  "Completely shredded 'em.  Sorry, I was caught up in the moment."

Just then, Afura weakly stumbled from the rubble of what used to be the Shinonome Diner, groaning and holding her poor head.  She stopped, and whimpered, when she saw the naked Rune, Makoto, Ifurita, Shayla, and Nanami.

Rune looked back at her sternly.  "Afura Mann... I must regretfully order you to take off your clothes for us all."

Afura whimpered again, and bowed her head submissively.  "Yes, Ma'am.  But I beg you wait for my head to stop spinning, before you begin my public corporeal punishment."


Deva returned to her battle-camp throne room, after a brief look around outside.  "Mr. Londs!  What is happening!?"

Londs was sitting at a table.  He was wearing his reading glasses, but he was looking forwards with a distant expression.  He rested his elbows on the table, and held his folded hands in front of his mouth.  "It is Instrumentality, Milady."

Deva blinked.  "Instru-what-is-ity?"

"The end of the world is come upon us," Londs said solemnly.  "But the Complementation of Man, via the Instrumentality for the Mind and Soul, is only beginning.  Soon, all things will return to nothingness-- or, rather, to the State of Beginning.  Either way, El-Hazard as we know it shall soon cease to exist."

Deva gasped.  "What shall we do?"

"I don't know about you," Londs said calmly, "but I plan to crawl under my bed, curl up in a fetal position, suck my thumb and cry for Mommy."


Parnasse was walking through what was left of Floristica, towards what was left of the Floristica palace.  Man, he thought.  A guy falls into a pit for a few hours, and the whole world just goes to pieces.

He passed many weary and straggling townsfolk, doing their best to carry on with their boring lives amidst the ruins.  But as he drew nearer to the palace, he met with a familiar blue-haired girl.  "Miss Kauru?  Is that you?"

Kauru was wearing a very, very, very tight white body-suit with dark trim.  It was so tight that it squeezed her already-thin body, making her look as if she were only fourteen years old.  Her blue hair hung in unkempt bangs, her pale face was expressionless, and her dull eyes showed no trace of human emotion.  She was clutching tightly at a pair of broken eyeglasses, and pausing every few steps to stare at them distantly.

Parnasse pulled her to a stop.  "Miss Kauru!?  What's going on?  Are you going somewhere?"

"Yes," Kauru said softly, in a flat voice.  "There is something that I must do.  I am leaving now, Parnasse.  sayounara."

"Whad'ya mean, 'sayounara'!?" Parnasse yelled.  "Don't say that!  You're not Japanese!  Only some dumb inexperienced fan fiction author would put beginner's Japanese words in your mouth!!"*


* OOC:  See the last paragraph of Part One of The Charm.  Can I have a Take-Back, please?  

[rowan_a._seven]

Amidst the destruction of the Eye of God, the Bugrom invasion, and the newest 'end of the world' threat, it is easy to understand why the disappearance of virtually every loaf of bread on El-Hazard went relatively unnoticed except by one teacher/mountain climber/hero who had the unpleasant experience of searching the world for a loaf of bread.  Naturally, the Ancients were to blame for this.  Granted, the Ancients are blamed for an awful lot, particularly whenever a new doomsday weapon surfaces, and it may seem incrompehensible that they would have some link to the bread disappearance, but rest assured the Ancients were responsible...or rather one of their last creations which had been made as a back-up plan.

All across El-Hazard, schools of tree fish dragged the loaves they'd stolen into their nests and began to feast.  Genetic instincts which had been programmed into them by the Ancients awakened by Arjah's liberation, a new racial imperative had seized them, and as they devoured the bread biological processes that had remained dormant for millennia awakened.  Within minutes they'd finished their meals and, glowing with destructive energy, the tree fish exited their nests like a swarm of angry hornets and took to the air, blocking out the light with their sheer numbers and humming an ancient song.

It was pure coincidence that the tune sounded awfully like "Ride of the Valkyries."

It was not a coincidence that they started explosively dive-bombing the spires en masse.
******

One of the first things Princess Fatora noticed when she regained consciousness was that she was in a hospital room.  The second realization, that she couldn't feel her arms and legs, came a moment later accompanied by a moment of panic that passed when, after examining herself as best she could, Fatora came to the conclusion that her limbs had merely been anesthetized.  

"They're...heh...getting smarter," the second princess muttered with some respect and an ounce of frustration, knowing that her current predicament would curtail her usual activities she performed when hospitalized.  

The door opened, and Dr. Smith, having returned for a second scene, walked in and smiled.  "Ah, I see you're awake.  Good.  I hope you don't find your current circumstances too...uncomfortable, but the nurses insisted.  They also wanted me to tell you that they've spent the last couple hours lecturing your clones on morality, and that Gatora and Hatora have now foresworn wordly desires and joined the priesthood," he informed the princess, puzzlement over this information and why the nurses had felt it worth celebrating by throwing a party evident in his tone.

Fatora took this news quite well, all things considered.

[size=8]"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"[/size]

******

"Ura sad.  Parnasse have more lines than Ura.  This unfair.  Ura go find Makoto, fix this," the armor cat, tired of being ignored, declared and made good on this statement by promptly leaving the comfortable cushion he'd been lounging and playing with a cat toy on while the world was imperiled.

[Spanner]

And then, just as Galus shuddered in his final death throes, the spire began to glow and crackle with dimensional energy.  What was left of Galus was quickly burned to fine black soot.

I get the distinct impression that somebody doesn't like Galus much...

*IC*

Qawool trudged across the broken landscape. The recent titanic battles had not been kind to Floristica or its surroundings. Qawool was not alone, but she couldn't care less. As long as he did not interfere with her task, Parnasse was welcome to follow.

"I'm not going to let you go alone!" Parnasse insisted for what might have been the tenth time since he found her. Once again, he was frustrated by her lack of a response. "Can you at least tell me where we're going?" Qawool continued to walk. Sighing in annoyance, Parnasse added, "Can you at LEAST tell me why we're walking, when there are still plenty of functional hoversleds back at the palace?"

Qawool stopped then, and stared at Parnasse.

***

A few hours later, Qawool's hoversled skimmed across the broken landscape. Qawool was not alone, and frankly, Parnasse's smug attitude was starting to annoy her.

"You see, THAT'S why I'm your personal retainer! Admit it, if I hadn't been there, you would have walked all the way to wherever it is that we're going, and probably wound up there too late to do whatever it is that you were supposed to do, huh?"

The fact that he was absolutely right was, possibly, more annoying than anything else. Time really was of the essence. The tree-fish had already been deployed, but they would simply not be enough on their own. She had to hurry!

[MrWhat]

A naked Fujisawa stood at the front door of his home, still holding his road-worn bag of groceries in one arm.  He had hoped to sneak in and put some clothes on before Miz saw him-- but the door was locked, and he had lost his keys along with his clothing.

He sighed, decided that he might as well just get it over with, and knocked loudly at the door with his free arm.  "Miz!  Could you open the door, please?  I've lost my-- URK!!"

The door suddenly fell open.  A pair of feminine yet surprisingly strong arms yanked Fujisawa through the doorway, and slammed the door shut again behind him.

A predictably (given the current writer) naked Miz embraced Fujisawa and sighed happily, after yanking him to herself.  But Fujisawa gasped.  "MIZ!!  Don't tell me that all your clothes were destroyed too!"

Miz giggled.  "What are you talking about, dah-ling?  I wanted to welcome you home properly...  Oh, my!  It looks like you had the same idea!"

Fujisawa hastily explained what had actually happened to his clothes.  Miz chose to believe him, since he had solemnly promised to be truthful with her-- and since he assured her that Makoto, Nanami, Shayla and even the Princess Rune Venus herself could back him up.

And then, Miz welcomed Fujisawa home properly, in a happy fun Fatora and Alielle sort of way that any happily married woman full of sweet love might do to celebrate the safe return of her beloved husband after a long and perilous journey.  So quit looking at me like that.


Some time later, Miz was pulling the groceries out of the bag and setting them out on the kitchen table.  "Did you find everything on the list?  You dear man.  I honestly didn't expect you to find much, what with all the civilization-ending devastation, and Ultimate Weapons running amuck, and such."

Fujisawa sat at the table, enjoying a well-deserved and Miz-sanctioned brewski.  "Yeah... I ran into a road-side vendor.  Nice kid, but she'd been out in the sun too long.  Claimed she was a demon, or something.  Heh, maybe those groceries are cursed in some way."

Miz looked over the groceries.  "Let's see...  milk... butter... bread...  Oh dear.  I was hoping for sandwich bread.  This loaf has the thicker slices--"

A suddenly distraught Fujisawa fell to his knees.  He began to rend his garments and gnash his teeth, as he cried out in despair.  "O, ACCURSÉD DIABOLIC GROCER!!  HOW SHARP IS THY STING!!"

Miz gasped, then kneeled beside her husband and consoled him.  "Darling!  It's alright!  We'll just leave the slices in the toaster a little longer!"


A still-paralyzed Fatora was still stuck in her hospital bed.  She was still in a foul mood from the loss of her harem.  Though she was not able to physically assault the medical staff, her acid tongue had sent all her nurses, male and female, away in tears.  Now that they were just leaving her alone, she was bored out of her mind.  She was reading a magazine that lay on the bed beside her pillow, turning the pages with her nose, with some difficulty.

Finally, someone came to her room again.  Fatora raised her head to see who it was, even though her neck was sore from her page-turning.

She saw Alielle, dressed in a miniature replica of Ifurita's nurse uniform.  The crisp white clothing suited her almost as well as it did Ifurita.  She was also carrying a tray of food, just like Ifurita had done.

Alielle tsk-tsk'ed.  "Are you still anesthetized, Fatora-sama?  Oh dear.  Well, I'm all better.  And I heard about your nurses, so I volunteered to take care of you myself."

As Alielle came to Fatora's side, Fatora opened her mouth to speak.  But Alielle put her finger to Fatora's lips to silence her.

"Hush, you.  I shall sit beside your bed, and I shall lovingly spoon-feed you this bland hospital food.  And then I shall punish you.  And let me assure your filthy little mind-- when I say 'punish,' I do mean 'punish' in a happy fun you and me sort of way."

Fatora thought of the few times that Alielle had been free to "punish" her before, and whimpered.  It's just as well that I'm already in a hospital bed, she thought.

[Lord God Jinnai]

"Wow, is this ever better," smiled Makoto, relieved at having some clothes at last. He adjusted his green loincloth before turning to the others. "Now that we've taken care of our little clothing problem, we should really think about how we're gonna stop Arjah."

"Makoto is right," said Princess Rune, who was wearing a two piece make-shift bikini of the same green material as Makoto's loincloth. "The evil sorcerer's machinations take top priority."

"Well, I'm almost at full capacity," said the Pretty Magical God Nanami. She was wearing a short tan cloak wrapped around the middle of her body. "Maybe we can just fight him all out once Ifurita and I get powered up?"

"That is inadvisable," spoke up the Demon God. She was clad in a similar outfit to Rune's. "We do not know the full nature of our adversary. To attack him head-on without knowing fully what his full powers are would be foolish and inviting defeat."

"Yeah, but none of us know who this guy is!" shouted Shayla. She adjusted her torn green hotpants and makeshift bra.

"Ifurita, you were around during the Ancient Wars. Shouldn't you know who Arjah is?"

"I'm sorry, my dear Makoto," Ifurita sighed sadly. "Unfortunately, my memory banks do not hold any record of him. From his imprisonment within the Eye of God, we can deduce that he was sealed after that weapon's construction. I am afraid that I was sealed away long before that event." She suddenly smiled as a thought occured to her. "But... there is a Demon God who was created after I was sealed. One that should have had all the data and knowledge of the Ancients downloaded into his memory."

"Huh? Who are you talking about, Ifurita?" Makoto suddenly turned pale. "Yikes! Y-you don't mean?"

"I'm afraid so." Ifurita frowned. "Jinnai was created by the last Demon God Factory. His key staff would have given him historical knowledge far beyond my own time. If anyone has any information about our enemy, it would be him."

"Just great," Makoto sighed.

"Hey!" Afura shouted. She was standing behind a bush, buck naked unlike everyone else. "This isn't fair! How come all you guys get clothes, but I stay naked? Don't I even get one strip of cloth? They were MINE to begin with!"

"Shut it!" snarled Ishiel. She smacked the nude priestess in the back of the head, eliciting a pained shriek from her target. "You're ruining the dramatic tension. Now are you gonna be good, or am I going to have to beat up your skinny little butt again?"

Afura cringed, a bright flush coming to her face. "I-I'll be good," she whimpered. "C-could you just... hit me a little harder next time?"

"WHAT?!" Ishiel's eyes widened in confusion.

"Nothing, nothing!" laughed Afura nervously. "It was nothing!"

[rowan_a._seven]

Elsewhere, Demon God Jinnai was giving a lecture on Arjah to an attentive audience...that consisted of Queen Diva, Ifurina, and Groucho who was sitting between them.  Behind him, Londs was supplying graphic aids for Jinnai's lesson through the use of a white board and markers.  

"-so you see, if Arjah is not stopped El-Hazard will become a lifeless wasteland incapable of sustaining itself and, in the course of a few short years, decay and blow itself apart," Jinnai finished with a flourish as Londs used his rarely seen artistic skills to create a horrifyingly realistic (but still beautiful!) image of El-Hazard's destruction.  "Any questions?"

"Gabu nad woot zut?" Groucho asked curiously, having almost completely recovered from his earlier injuries.  He had also discarded his Tuxedo Mask outfit with the exception of the cape which he had grown somewhat fond of.  

"How should _I_ know how his colleagues were able to successfully seal him away when Arjah is near-omniscient?" Jinnai replied sourly, not pleased at being asked a question he didn't know the answer to.  "Any more questions?"

Ifurina opened her mouth.  "Yeah, where did you learn to draw, Londs?  I mean, your artistic skills are, like, amazing and so much better than my own!" she squealed, showcasing her point by turning her notebook around so that Jinnai and Londs could see the picture of cute, happy woodland animals gathering around a lake on a bright, sunny day she'd sketched while Jinnai was giving his informative address on Arjah.

"It was a job requirement," Londs answered simply, slightly embarrassed by the praise.  "Royal retainers must be well-versed in the arts as well as history, medicine, politics, martial arts, Paralian masseuse techniques, culinary styles, diplomacy, language, d20 Dungeons & Dragons rules, science, psycho-"

Jinnai cut Londs off before he could list his additional talents.  "Any more _pertinent_ questions?" he asked, irritated.

This time Diva spoke.  "Mr. Jinnai, you have done an admirable job presenting the known information on the current threat to the world to us.  However, what do you recommend we do about it?"

Demon God Jinnai smiled.  Finally, a chance to show off his brilliance!  "After comparing notes with Londs, we've been able to locate the exact position of a hitherto unknown ancient ruin that contains a gigantic failsafe system that should be able to deactivate Arjah's energy spires.  Additionally, accomplishing this will cause the spires to harmlessly release all of the energy they've gained into the atmosphere, a rapid process that should leave Arjah drained, weakened, and vulnerable."

Londs, not stopping his artistic efforts, took over.  "I am privy to the location of a secret tunnel beneath Florestica that leads to the center of the planet.  Although there are ancient guardians blocking the path, Demon God Jinnai's powers should be enough to penetrate the defenses.  Still, we won't have much time.  I estimate that it will only take Arjah five minutes to recover enough power to assume manual control over the energy spires.  If this happens, it will be next to impossible to stop him."

"Therefore," Jinnai continued, looking grim and serious, "after seizing control over the ruin our forces will postpone activating the failsafe system for approximately 30 minutes.  This should give me enough time to get into a position where I can take out Arjah.  Immediately following this, we will conquer Florestica before the city's defenders can rally themselves, thus bringing about our new world order!"  Londs accented this declaration with another breathtakingly impressive picture of Arjah defeated, the world safe, and the Bugrom Army standing victorious over their foes.

Diva, Groucho, and Ifurina clapped.

******

Ura walked over to the barely clothed Makoto et al and proceeded to give a lecture remarkably similar to Jinnai's, albeit it was lacking in the graphics department.  Concluding, the armor cat said, "Follow Ura to planet's center.  Ura know way.  Trigger will activate ruin."

[MrWhat]

Although Kauru seemed to know where she was going, she didn't seem to know exactly how to get there.  And, despite her change of personality, Kauru was as poor a hovercraft pilot as ever.  As Parnasse held on for dear life, he found himself wishing that he hadn't insisted on following her after all.

Kauru suddenly brought the craft to a grinding halt near a spire.  "Parnasse!  Behold!"

Parnasse had interpreted 'behold' as 'be thrown from the craft to fall on your face.'  He picked himself up from the ground, coughing and spitting out sand.  "Miss Kauru, would you please signal those sudden stops!?"

Kauru ignored his protests.  She had gone even more pale, if such a thing was possible.  "Oh no.  It may already be too late.  The second stage has begun."

Parnasse blinked.  "The second stage of what?"

"The tree fish were the first natural defense," Kauru said.  "They have delayed Instrumentality for a few hours with their power-draining attacks.  But they have done all that they can, and now, the second natural defense of El-Hazard has begun.

"Behold, Parnasse!  Mice with hats!*"

Parnasse looked to the base of the spire, and saw what looked like a gray carpet of fur surrounding the spire.

He took a second look, and noticed two things.  The mice were, in fact, wearing hats.  And they seemed to be attacking the temporarily tree-fish power-drained spire by... kicking it.

Parnasse held his face in his hands and whimpered.  "El-Hazard is doomed."


After Ura had conveniently appeared and told Makoto and his friends of the spire failsafe system, Makoto had set out for the ruins with Ifurita, Nanami and Ishiel.  This time, they had walked for only a few minutes before remembering that they could take a glider.  Unfortunately, they had got only a little further with the glider before remembering that Ifurita and Nanami could carry Makoto and Ishiel directly to the ruins.

In the meantime, the powerless Afura, Shayla and Rune had remained behind.  Rune had begun to make her way back to the palace complex, to assess the damage from the battle with uber-Ishiel.  With nothing better to do, Shayla and the still-naked Afura had decided to help Nanami by salvaging what they could of the Shinonome Diner.  After dragging the damaged tables to one side, Afura and Shayla kneeled on the floor of the dining area, picking out the unbroken dishes and casting the broken pieces aside.

Shayla looked up from her work, glanced at Afura, and raised an eyebrow.  "Uh, Afura?  Y'know, you could go find some more clothes for yourself.  There's gotta be some clothes somewhere in the city..."

Afura smiled thinly.  "No, no.  It's alright.  My public nudity is an appropriately humiliating punishment."

Shayla sweatdropped.  "Uh, Afura?  How hard were you hit on the head, just now?"

"It was the Lamp of the Four Elements," Afura said softly.  "It... changed me, Shayla.  But it's not just that..."

She hung her head, and wrapped her arms around herself.  "I think it changed me completely, Shayla.  I've faced death so many times... and we've all faced the end of El-Hazard many times... but this is different, somehow.  Shayla?  I'm... really... scared..."

Shayla grinned, leaned forwards, and put a hand on Afura's shoulder.  "Aw, c'mon, Afura.  It'll be alright.  Makoto's never let us down, and he's got plenty of help.  So, don't worry, okay?  This just wasn't our battle to fight, I guess..."

Shayla trailed off as Afura looked up at her, with a most un-Afura-like expression.  Her eyes had gone all sad and shiny, and her lip trembled, and she was shivering a little.

Shayla grimaced.  "Oh, Affy!...  Yer not gonna?..."

"WHAAAAAH!!"  Afura threw herself at Shayla, buried her face in Shayla's shoulder, and began to cry like a lost little girl.

Shayla sweatdropped again.  She was ill at ease, not only because of this sudden role reversal, but also because her distraught friend was buck naked.  She held Afura as tenderly as she could without holding her too closely.  "Uh... it's alright, Affy..."

Then she looked up, and saw that Rune had returned.  "Hoo boy.  Uh, Milady?  This isn't what it looks like..."

Rune suddenly fell to her knees, next to Afura and Shayla.  Her eyes had gone just as sad and shiny as Afura's eyes.  "Oh, Shayla!  My kingdom lies in ruins!... My husband is a monster!...  And now, my balcony has been destroyed!  I have nowhere to go *snf* to go all angsty now *snf*--"

Shayla pulled a face.  The she sighed, and raised her arm, without disturbing the sobbing Afura, to allow Rune to sob into her other shoulder.

Aw, man, Shayla thought.  I hate being the emotionally stable girl.


* OOC:  See page 38 of the El-Hazard Graphic Novel, Volume I.