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General => Non-El-Hazard Topical Discussions => Topic started by: Saucer on March 26, 2004, 08:35:53 PM



Title: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on March 26, 2004, 08:35:53 PM
OK, here's something fun to try! Next time you're at a chinese restaraunt, take your fortune cookie fortune and put "-in bed" on the end. Endless hours of merriment! I'll start us off......

Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded -in bed

Your help will be needed in an embarrassing situation -in bed

With patience and determination, anyone can succeed -in bed


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Kathy Guinea on March 26, 2004, 10:39:30 PM
another one to try is "in your pants."


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Jojo on March 27, 2004, 01:41:35 AM
In bed works, but I've always liked the phrase "underneath the bed sheets" just a little longer and i like it... Guess mostly just a personal preference


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on March 27, 2004, 11:31:59 PM
Quote
another one to try is "in your pants."

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!  ;D


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: MrWhat on March 29, 2004, 12:47:41 AM
These were all genuine fortune cookie fortunes:



Be direct.  Usually one can accomplish more that way in bed.

Everyone around you is rooting for you.  Don't give up in bed!

Ideas you believe are absurd ultimately lead to success in bed!

It is up to you to create your own adventures today in bed!

It's time for you to explore all those new interests in bed.

A pleasant surprise is in store for you in bed.

The skills you have gathered will one day come in handy in bed.

There is a prospect of a thrilling time ahead for you in bed.

You are ready to let your creative talents blossom in bed.

You are talented in many ways in bed.

You have the ability to adapt to diverse situations in bed.

You will be awarded some great honor in bed.

You will conquer obstacles to achieve success in bed.

You will discover your hidden talents in bed.

You will do well to expand your business in bed.

Your co-workers take pleasure in your great sense of creativity in bed!

Your exotic ideas lead you to many exciting, new adventures in bed!

Your meaning of love is special.  Why not share it in bed.  [Awwww, how romantic.]



Y'know, there's probably a Fatora-and-Alielle fan fiction in there, somewhere.


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on March 29, 2004, 01:34:25 AM
Yes yes, this is good!   ;D Hee hee. Keep 'em coming!


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: anubimon on April 03, 2004, 10:51:10 AM
You will find many comforts and pleasures in old age--- in bed.


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Kathy Guinea on April 15, 2004, 03:59:02 AM
I just bought a bag of fortune cookies from the commissary and they have really hilarious fortunes:


Pleasure awaits your company -- in bed.

One of your many attributes is your creative imagination -- in bed.

You are a source of wisdom and strength to many people -- in bed.

In great attempts it is glorious even to fail -- in bed.

It is time to help a friend in need -- in bed.

A new romance is about to enter your life. Act on your first impulse -- in bed.

Learning to shrug is the beginning of wisdom -- in bed.

Good luck is coming your way -- in bed.

and finally:

*Patience is the best remedy for every trouble -- in bed.


*I got this one 3 times so far and I'm about 2/3 of the way through the bag... I think the cookies are trying to tell me something.


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on April 17, 2004, 10:36:44 PM
Quote
In great attempts it is glorious even to fail -- in bed.

XO   XD


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Kathy Guinea on April 21, 2004, 04:36:21 AM
Here are a few more from a  new bag:

Time makes one wise. Ask advice from someone older than you -- in bed.

Sell your ideas - they have exceptional merit -- in bed.

The best way to get a good idea is to have lots of ideas -- in bed.

You will discover the truth in time -- in bed.


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Kathy Guinea on April 24, 2004, 08:47:11 PM
here are a couple more:

Remember the past to help you in the future -- in bed.

The constructive use of riches is better than their possession -- in bed.

A friend asks only for your time, not your money -- in bed.


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on April 25, 2004, 11:28:45 PM
I can just see an adult manga series springing from the ideas in these. And at the end of each chapter, a drawing of a broken fortune cookie with the fortune the chapter is based on!


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Kathy Guinea on April 26, 2004, 01:03:13 AM
Quote
I can just see an adult manga series springing from the ideas in these. And at the end of each chapter, a drawing of a broken fortune cookie with the fortune the chapter is based on!


That's so wrong Saucer-san...

Now if I WERE a hentai artist I'd have to steal that idea from you and make a lucrative business out of it.

But instead I think I'll go back to that soda can and wire idea I had.


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: anubimon on April 26, 2004, 08:36:38 PM
I ended up with a fortune cookie today at lunch--
Submission will help you greatly[or something like that, can't remember exactly]-- in bed.

Quote
I can just see an adult manga series springing from the ideas in these. And at the end of each chapter, a drawing of a broken fortune cookie with the fortune the chapter is based on!

... That is brilliant! Think of the money you could make off that! o_o;;


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: mark_engels on April 27, 2004, 09:08:06 PM
Quote
These were all genuine fortune cookie fortunes:

.
.
.
Everyone around you is rooting for you.  Don't give up in bed!
.
.
.


What makes this so damn WRONG is that I couldn't help but think of Maison Ikkoku as I read this one.  Recall how Kyoko is always rooting Godai on with his exams?  That is, when she's not pissed at him for Lord Only Knows.  Then again, anyone who's read the Game Set Match graphic novel knows there might be something to that...

--me

M. J. (Mark) Engels
Signal Technician
Brotherhood of Railroad Signalmen LU 14
CN Rail
Valparaiso, Indiana  USA



Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on April 27, 2004, 10:10:24 PM
Quote


That's so wrong Saucer-san...

Now if I WERE a hentai artist I'd have to steal that idea from you and make a lucrative business out of it.

But instead I think I'll go back to that soda can and wire idea I had.

^^; Well... it doesn't have to be that ecchi! I was thinking more along the lines of "young men's manga" like Dance Til Tommorow. Nothing serious, just a PG-13 sex scene every other page or so......


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on May 09, 2004, 11:28:21 PM
Tonight's entires range from dull to disturbing:

Your life will be happy and peaceful. -in bed

You have an unusual magnetic personality. -in bed (does that make me more attractive? *RIMSHOT*)

Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought. -in bed

If you employ a man, don't suspect him. -in bed

You will be surrounded by luxury. -in bed


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Kathy Guinea on May 10, 2004, 01:01:57 AM
Quote
You have an unusual magnetic personality. -in bed (does that make me more attractive? *RIMSHOT*)[/i] -in bed


No it makes you a robot... ... ... ... ... :: tries to hide nosebleed ::


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on May 10, 2004, 10:08:50 PM
Quote


No it makes you a robot... ... ... ... ... :: tries to hide nosebleed ::

Really?  ...   ??? ...  EXCELLENT!! ::air guitar::


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Wayne on May 18, 2004, 02:24:26 AM
For my brother's birthday we got together along with some of our family and ate Chinese (alas that their spicy chicken couldn't have been white meat :( ) for the first time in awhile. And after getting some of our "fortunes," I was drawn back to this little thread....

Life to you is a dashing and bold adventure... in bed.

You will be awarded some great honor... in bed.

He who knows he has enough is rich... in bed.

The problems of today will be buried by the sands of time... in bed.

(And the last one was "Don't put all your eggs in one basket"-- who knew that the Chinese read Aesop? :D)


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on June 22, 2004, 11:11:12 PM
Perserverance makes all things easy -in bed ^^;

A single kind word will keep one warm for years -in bed ("Saucer-san, sugoi!")

You are never selfish with your advice or your help -in bed (that's what I keep saying. I suppose I could be a sex therapist, if my face didn't scare chicks)


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: MrWhat on August 08, 2004, 09:42:25 PM
From today's late lunch at the Chinese buffet:

"Haste does not bring success in bed."

Yes, it's all about the Sweet, Sweet Loving, The Whole Night Through.  ::)


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Kathy Guinea on August 09, 2004, 04:13:30 AM
heh I have been saving a bunch of these for a while... soo I'll just post a few:

Your nature is harmonious and affectionate -- in bed

Your charms have not gone unnoticed by all the angels -- in bed (wouldn't that make a great hentai? :: runs away from the rapist angels :: )

And now for a scary one:

Seek advice from an octogenarian-- in bed


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Captain Southbird (EHOL Creator) on August 09, 2004, 09:01:55 AM
Quote
Seek advice from an octogenarian-- in bed


Wow, that's... O_O  Hmm, guess we know how old of a guy you ought to be dating now.


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Kathy Guinea on August 09, 2004, 09:26:33 AM
Quote


Wow, that's... O_O  Hmm, guess we know how old of a guy you ought to be dating now.


Only if said octogenarian is a bishi robot that looks like he's eternally 25...

I think the cookie hosed me...


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on August 10, 2004, 09:10:13 PM
While cleaning up all my accumulated junk at work yesterday......

You can expect a change for the better in job or status in the future -in bed

Yes, some people do try to sleep their way to the top, but......


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: MrWhat on August 12, 2004, 07:55:54 PM
Quote
heh I have been saving a bunch of these for a while...

I'm glad that I'm not the only one who actually saves fortune cookie fortunes.  The fortunes that I get here also have kanji printed on the back side, and so I can use them as Japanese language flash cards (even though they only have Chinese-language readings printed on them).

Quote
Only if said octogenarian is a bishi robot that looks like he's eternally 25...

I'll "call" your 80-year-old bishounen robot that looks 25, and I'll "raise" you with a 20000-year-old bishoujou demon-god that looks 25.  Although, unfortunately, a 25-year-old female of any kind is a bit too young for me now.


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Kathy Guinea on August 13, 2004, 05:57:14 AM
Quote
I'll "call" your 80-year-old bishounen robot that looks 25, and I'll "raise" you with a 20000-year-old bishoujou demon-god that looks 25.  


:: looks at 80-year old bishounen robot :: Well he's got us there.

Quote
Although, unfortunately, a 25-year-old female of any kind is a bit too young for me now.


It's funny you feel that way... I get hit on by middle aged guys about 10 times more often than guys my own age :p I mean... more power to them if they think they look good enough to date a girl could could very well be their daughter... buuut ... _I_ personally find it creepy to date a guy as old as my dad. I also find it disconcerting that  don't get hit on by guys closer to my age range... I think there is something wrong with me.

Here's another fortune: "No one conquers who doesn't fight-- in bed."



Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on August 15, 2004, 08:38:01 PM
Quote

Here's another fortune: "No one conquers who doesn't fight-- in bed."

O_O;

The sad part is, there are people that are into really violent sex. Never quite understood that.  :-[
"You give B&D,
a bad name...."

-Bond Jovi


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Kathy Guinea on August 18, 2004, 06:24:29 AM
Not every soil can bear all things. Be practical-- in bed


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: MrWhat on August 25, 2004, 12:24:49 AM
Sunday's fortune cookie fortune:  You have a yearning for perfection in bed.  (Well, duh!)

I would have posted that Sunday evening, if I hadn't been up past 2:00, working on those Round Robin replies.  O, how I Suffer for my Art!


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Spanner on October 01, 2004, 12:47:36 PM
Well, I haven't participated in this topic yet - in bed. But I had some fortune cookies with my lunch today - in bed. So, I thought I'd check to see how well they work - in bed.



1. Your most memorable dream will come true - in bed.

Awww, djyeaaaaah... |D

2. A cheerful message is on its way to you - in bed.

Meh. Though, it works pretty well if you change the 'e' in message to an 'a'. ;D

3. Pleasure awaits your company - in bed.

Kathy already got this one. But still... =,]

4. You will be successful in business and married life - in bed.

What? Both? ^^;


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Captain Southbird (EHOL Creator) on October 01, 2004, 12:53:16 PM
Quote
4. You will be successful in business and married life - in bed.

What? Both? ^^;


I guess it depends what business you're in.


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on October 01, 2004, 08:13:18 PM
Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life -in bed

Your intuition and guidance is usually helpful -in bed

You will soon gain something you have always wanted -in bed

Heh heh, one can only hope...  ^^;


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: xxdemongodifuritaxx on October 08, 2004, 10:30:37 PM
a small incident will shortly develop to your advantage-in bed

you will be showered by attention-in bed

have faith, happiness will be yours-in bed


*her fortune cookies she got with her lunch today*

maybe I'm going to get lucky? *blink blink*


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on October 22, 2004, 07:37:06 PM
This evening's repast was filled with startling revelations...

You are surrounded by true friends -in bed

You will finally solve a difficult problem that will mean much to you -in bed
(well, I get most of my best ideas in the shower, but... ^^; )


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: xxdemongodifuritaxx on October 30, 2004, 08:21:12 PM
whee, another one I got

a firm friendship will prove the foundation of your success in life- in bed


wow, well that's kinda true in some cases. some great lovers in life start out as good friends. that's kinda cool. hmmm....who are all my good friends? *looks around sheepishly* um, no, nothing...nothing at all! *runs off*


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on October 30, 2004, 10:48:14 PM
Well folks, it finally happened. Yes... that's right.  |D I GOT MY FIRST ENGRISH FORTUNE! Actually, I just found it laying on the counter at work. I can't imagine why anyone would throw this away, but.....

Behind an able man, there are always.
??? Always what? A dominitrix with a strap-on? -in bed


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: xxdemongodifuritaxx on October 31, 2004, 07:47:51 AM
*laughs*

behind every able man, there are always

many sex hungry yahoos that want a piece of your ass, literally! heh ^^


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Kathy Guinea on November 01, 2004, 07:24:04 AM
Quote
Behind an able man, there are always.
??? Always what? A dominitrix with a strap-on? -in bed


LOL! wow... that's an image I didn't need ^^;


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on November 05, 2004, 11:09:18 PM
Quote


LOL! wow... that's an image I didn't need ^^;

Sorry, not sure what brought that on. Must have been in a really random mood that weekend. You know me...


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on November 21, 2004, 07:16:37 PM
It is easier to make friends then to keep them -in bed
(Well, as always, that depends on j00r m4d 5k1llZ!)

If we meet a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads -in bed
(Well, you won't find a man in my bed, but you're welcome to ask me what I read  ^^; )


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: MrWhat on December 12, 2004, 10:04:20 PM
You'll never know what you can do until you try-- in bed.

^^;, on several different levels.


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on May 16, 2005, 11:54:00 PM
No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings -in bed
(umm...... are we talking about a "solo flight" here?  :-[ )
Prosperity makes friends and adversity tries them -in bed

You are never given enough time or money -in bed
(LOL!!! true...... )


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on October 08, 2005, 10:04:38 PM
I was cleaning up some old papers and assorted crap last weekend, when I came across this old fortune I'd been saving:

Your mind is filled with new ideas. Make use of them -in bed

;D


Title: Re: Chinese cookie fortunes... -in bed
Post by: Saucer on October 08, 2005, 10:04:47 PM
I was cleaning up some old papers and assorted crap last weekend, when I came across this old fortune I'd been saving:

Your mind is filled with new ideas. Make use of them -in bed

;D