(http://www.el-hazardonline.net/El-Hazard/temp/rob/forgottens1.jpg)
The Good
Well, folks, it's been a year. And a helluva year so far as personal changes in my life go.
What started off as a simple little mostly-text site with great ambition and little following between two guys who fought bitterly with each other in a previous life blossomed into a more intricate array of not just information, but also apparent passion from some of those who've been deticated and yet lost on the internet.
I hope to keep this place active and alive for as long as possible... I dread the thought of ever becoming like so many of the Geocities and Tripod El-Hazard sites out there... "Last Updated xx/xx/98" (or as late as 2001). "Last" update indeed. :(
(http://www.el-hazardonline.net/El-Hazard/temp/rob/forgottens2.jpg)
The Community
I don't know many of you to any personal degree. And I also must admit its somewhat sad that many of you are only recent members. I don't know if there's anyone besides my brother, sister, and Neil who've come to this place continually since it first opened with its little amount of info back in May of last year. As far as I know and "Spring Cleaning" seemed to prove, there's virtually no one, or at least no one who cares enough to let me know about it.
At least I can faithfully say that many of you who have been around as of late have been cream of the crop so far as fans can go. Mark, Saucer, MrWhat, Dooky, Jewel, Rowan, Baka-sama... these are just some of the names I often look forward to seeing a forum post made by, because I know they can give me honest and thoughtful answers when discussing El-Hazard "fact". But this isn't to put down the others either, because it's a variety of people who make up a community. It's probably mostly the doping effects of the somewhat depressed mood I'm in that I'm not thinking of more. ;) (In order of "Top Posting" (http://www.el-hazardonline.net/cgi-bin/ehol/YaBB.pl?board=;action=mltop) it's actually Saucer, MrWhat, Mark! Saucer's in 2nd at the moment. Only half-way to the top Saucer, Lar's holding first. ;D)
(http://www.el-hazardonline.net/El-Hazard/temp/rob/forgottens3.jpg)
The Bad
Money. I have approximately $1500 now. When the check clears at CCAC, I'll be down to about $500. With books averaging a rediculous $300 all together, I'm down to $200. Seems okay, right? Well, my internet costs are $50/mo, not counting any renewals on domains/etc I might have coming up. Keep in mind its my internet service that powers this place.
Obviously I need employment. And right now it's not looking good. I started early this month at the top with hope, and yesterday hit McDonalds with the stabbing pain of anxiety and defeat. My dad rags me daily with all these ideals and ideas about getting employed, but lately I feel like there's not even a remote chance I'll end up with a job I like... if a job at all.
The idea is, be patient with me; until I'm successfully and securely employed, I'm liable to be shoved out the door every day applying here, there, anywhere. This makes me grumpy, tired, depressed, and, of course, unable to update or do things for the site as frequently as I'd like. I'm personally surprised I ever managed to get the site upgraded like I wanted to. (Fortunately, my experience and working with already developed routines for things made it fairly easy, albeit requiring a short shutdown.)
(So, yeah, Saucer, about all the bitching I did about the thing... sorry about that. I'm just too irritated that I'm not in the least thinking about things in proper proportions, if that makes any sense. :P)
Anyway, well, this is my problem to deal with right now, but I'm just keeping you informed in case it becomes your problem somehow.
Other than that, thanks guys, you really make this worthwhile! And I mean that. Because despite feeling defeated and disrespected for all the talent I have by the job market and even my own dad, you guys and this place are the one thing that I am truly proud to be a part of, and will continue to build and nuture this place as long as I possibly can.
That's about all for me tonight. Hopefully slothful ol' Neil actually will have something for us, if he doesn't already. ;) 'Till next time...
P.S. The little drawings used in this thread are my sister's one friend's. Cute things. I keep forgetting to put them up. :-[