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Author Topic: A Portrait From Space (Shameless plug)  (Read 391 times)
dooky
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The Genius is Loose

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« on: December 10, 2003, 08:09:10 AM »

Well, I couldn't resist. There's a new chapter of my original anime fiction project (contradiction, I know) up on my site: http://darthbirdie.com/dooky/portrait.htm

It's sort of sci-fi comedy, if you like that sort of thing. Yes, it does contain limited amounts of yuri. And a catgirl ^_~ I'm also working on an encyclopaedia dealing with the universe described in the story, as well as attempting to get into some sort of writing routine so that I can update more often than every six months...

the dooky
"Sometimes, I ponder: What if the Caspian Sea should merger
Over my shoulder, with Irish lakes and Seoul suburbia?"
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Spanner
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« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2003, 02:23:47 PM »

Yay! Another APFS chapter!

Heh, between Senny Forbec and Sakura Tamaro, I'm starting to get the impression that you don't have an enormously positive outlook when it comes to idol singers. ;D Still, it was interesting to see how very different Senny was from Sakura, while still maintaining the same levels of conceit and obnoxiousness. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that Senny was much more likable - unlike Sakura, she gave the impression of having the intelligence and savvy to EARN her celebrity status, where Sakura gave the impression that her stardom had been pretty much handed to her and she honestly believed that her lifestyle was one owed her.

Unfortunately, I have to say that I think this chapter revolved around the idol singer a little too closely. Just about everything all of the characters were doing had something to do with Senny, and we missed out on a lot of the great character interactions between the members of the crew that helped to make the previous chapters so great.

As a result, I felt this chapter was somewhat bland compared to recent chapters. Perhaps if you had plans to make Senny a permanent or recurring character in the future, this chapter would be worthwhile as a setup, but if she is (as she seems to be) just a one-shot character, it seems a bit lacking. Heh... Just like an idol singer, to demand the spotlight wherever she goes, even to the detriment of the rightful stars around her, huh? :P

At least one character was significantly changed by this chapter of the storyline. It will be interesting to see if Sanction continues her desire to be an idol singer, and how the rest of the crew feels about that.

I look forward to your next chapter!
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The 1337 poster
dooky
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« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2003, 06:14:17 AM »

Well, I was never going to say it from the outset, but I was also a bit disappointed with this chapter... which is one of the reasons it took so long. It had to be written though, since Sanction's quest to become an idol singer is indeed going to be a recurring theme in the series. I don't think it comes up in the plot again until something like Chapter 8, but this is the start of Sanction's little story arc.
Anyway, I have much higher hopes for Chapter 4, a Swanchita/Zerryn story which actually threatens to advance the plot slightly. Cheers as usual for the feedback...

the dooky
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Saucer
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« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2003, 09:54:47 PM »

::snaps to attention::

Someone say "yuri?"
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Let's go, Red Raccoon Dogs!
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